If you regularly spend time on a computer — which is most of us — you’re no stranger to error messages. Some of them are benign and simply “you big dummy” kinds of reminders, and others blast us with warnings and notices that make us want to vomit.
Cats are not unlike computers: They’re sensitive and not shy in alerting us (or other cats) when we’re in trouble with them. If kitties were to translate common computer error messages to suit their situations, here are six I think they’d choose.
1. Have encountered a problem and needs to close
When cats have had enough, they’ve had enough. There’s no hesitation in “closing” themselves from any additional human interaction. And the airplane ears tell us it will take quite some time before they can be rebooted.
2. Food was not ejected properly
When the cat food has shifted to the edges of the plate, making the dish obviously empty, cats have no other choice but to alert us of our incompetence in initially ejecting the food from the container to the plate. If we’d done it correctly, all the food would have stayed in the middle of the plate. Try again.
3. Access denied
Sometimes boxes are only large enough for one cat, or the boxed-in cat isn’t willing to share the space. No cats wants access denied to a really cool box. This error message usually results in a lot of pouting or forcefully ejecting the cat from the box.
4. Human not responding
When cats want something from us, they want it right away — patience is not one of their more admirable traits. Imagine their frustration when they “press the human button” and there’s a major lag. Cats are certain this happens far too often. In fact, they’re constantly searching for fixes to solve the issue. Some successful fixes have included excessive whining and knocking stuff off tables.
5. Out of memory
Cats have a pretty accurate internal clock; however, some seem to think whenever we enter the kitchen, it’s mealtime. This is true even if they’ve recently eaten. It’s like they forgot they’d just stuffed their fuzzy little faces — total memory fail.
6. Warning: Visiting this basket may harm your hand
I appreciate my computer alerting me if a site I’m about to enter is considered dangerous. I also appreciate the look my cats give me (along with the cranky vocals) when I’m attempting to remove them from a laundry basket. If I don’t heed the warning, I sometimes wind up with a scratch or at the very least a snappy meow. Sometimes I take the warning seriously and don’t visit the basket, but other times I take my chances — especially if I really need something buried underneath the cat. Then I can’t complain if I’m attacked — I was warned, after all.
What computer error messages would your cat translate for you? Post an example or two in the comments!
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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.