Your cat doesn’t hate you. Thankfully, humans are the only species that write vengeful songs about our exes and actively harbor bitterness. Although cats don’t technically hold grudges, that argument might be a tough one to prove at times when your cat seethes at you from their favorite armchair.
A cat does not have the emotional or intellectual capacity to hold a grudge. They can, however, be conditioned from their experiences to not appear comfortable around you. Read on to learn more about grudges and your cat.
How Long Do Cats Hold Grudges?
A grudge, or resentment, is a complex, multifaceted negative emotion that occurs in response to mistreatment. No studies involving feline emotion and cognition have established that a cat can hold a grudge in the way that we humans do.
However, felines can definitely respond unfavorably to what they perceive as a negative experience, and depending on its extent, they can definitely show signs that they’re displeased when this experience repeats itself.
For instance, some cats are not appreciative of baths, especially if their first experience with the activity was not pleasant. If they see you grabbing their bathtub again, they will be able to piece together that they might be exposed to the same uncomfortable experience once more, and as a result, they may show signs of displeasure, anger, aggression, or avoidance.
Similarly, if a cat has had negative experiences with humans in general (for example, physical abuse), they may be conditioned to respond negatively when approached. Ultimately, a cat’s brain will switch into “survival” mode whenever necessary. This is a fundamental, primal, instinctive response in many species.
Signs That Your Cat Is Peeved at You
While a cat may not possess the mental capacity to hold a grudge, every cat parent knows they can become intensely angry at you. Encroaching their space, bringing home a new animal, or rearranging the furniture are only a few possible missteps humans can make to annoy their feline companions.
- Flattened ears
- Low, rapidly squishing tail
- Hissing
- Growling
- Swatting at you with their paws
- Deep vocalizations
- Avoiding you (hiding or running away)
- Refusing to eat or drink
- Urinating or defecating in inappropriate places
If you witness any of these signs, you should stop what you’re doing and try to rectify the situation. However, a highly vexed cat may lash out when approached and even resort to biting or scratching you because their emotions are so heightened. As such, your first response to an agitated cat should not be to approach them. Rather, you should try, if possible, to remove the stimulus that’s upsetting them and let them calm down at their own pace.
In the worst-case scenario, you could contribute to a long-term memory that could plague your relationship with your cat.
How to Win Your Cat Back
Before you think poorly of your cat, we should reiterate that your cat doesn’t dislike you (except in extreme cases where they have a history of being abused by humans). They especially do not want to damage the relationship because you’re their source of food and shelter. Try to make peace with your cat as soon as possible to keep the bond strong.
The best way to ask your cat for forgiveness (after they’ve calmed down) is to figure out their love language and treat them with it. Some cats tweak their ears to the sound of a can of wet food cracking open. Others want nothing more than a good head bunt on your lap. Maybe your cat embraces the hygge lifestyle and soothes themselves by nestling down into warm, fuzzy blankets.
You know your cat best. If you’ve made a mistake, spoil them with a treat, a cuddle, a freshly washed blanket, or whatever it takes to make things right again. They’ll be quick to forgive you and show you love in return.
Conclusion
There’s no need to sleep with the light on tonight or place locks on the knife drawer. Despite the glowering look on their faces, cats don’t hold active grudges. Unless they’ve committed the event to long-term memory, their brains only retain short-term memories for brief periods of time. That said, unpleasurable experiences can definitely be recalled by your cat.
Your cat will usually be quick to forgive you, though, especially if you already enjoy a happy relationship with them. If they need a little prompting, you can try spoiling them with their love language to make the process go faster. Maybe they’ll even commit your reconciliatory actions to long-term memory and have a more positive association with you.
Related Reads:
- Are Cats Vengeful or Vindictive? Vet-Reviewed Feline Behavior
- Do Cats Get Mad When You Leave? Feline Feelings Explained
Featured Image Credit: pixbull, Shutterstock
