6 False Assumptions My Cats Make About My Daily Actions


Cats are creatures of habit and learn to expect certain behaviors from us humans. This includes assumptions by cats that are not always on target. Here are six of them my two cats make on a regular basis.

1. Sofa snuggles

"I'm ready."
“I’m ready.”

When I sit on my sofa, Cosmo likes to jump from the floor to the right of where I’m sitting. Then he walks over me to get to my left side, where he settles in for a snuggle. First of all, I think it’s hysterical that he doesn’t initially jump to the left side, but instead chooses to make things complicated. But I suppose that’s just another “what’s up with cats?” question that shall never be answered.

Because he loves our sofa snuggles so much, he assumes every time I plop my butt there, it’s time to cuddle up for some Mommy-n-me time. Needless to say he’s highly disappointed when I’m sitting only to put on my shoes or sort through mail.

2. Laundry lounging

"Thank you, human. Now move along."
“Thank you, human. Now move along.”

I think most every cat thinks a full laundry basket is meant for her and only her. My Phoebe is especially on alert when a basket is in the immediate area. This is where I get schooled because I assume I won’t be able to fold my fresh laundry because she’ll have hijacked the basket. I can’t say I’m especially upset by the whole dealio because I loathe folding laundry. I suppose it’s a win-win.

3. Sleepytime

"Meet you in bed ... like NOW."
“Meet you in bed … like NOW.”

Phoebe loves to sleep with me at night. In fact, as soon as I start turning lights off and “shutting the house down,” she hightails it to the bedroom and curls up, waiting for me. Even during the day, I can often find her crashed on my bed, logging her catnap hours.

Because she’s so fond of my bed, especially when I’m on it, she looks for every opportunity to create sleepytime snuggles. My bedroom is off the main hallway that leads from the front door to the main living area, so it’s one of my regular paths. If she’s awake and anywhere nearby, she races ahead of me and jumps on the bed, expecting that I’ll join her. If I stop and peek into the bedroom, she looks at me like, “Come on, already.” I can’t lie: I’m a sucker for this move and often find myself cuddled up with little Pheebs in the middle of the day. Life is hard.

4. Treats

"And while you're washing dishes ..."
“And while you’re washing dishes …”

See, there’s this cabinet above the kitchen sink. The main items I store in this cabinet are canned cat food and kitty treats. It makes total sense, then, that my cats would assume I’m about to dish up yummies when I walk anywhere near that cabinet, right? Right. Cosmo just about loses his mind sometimes when I need to rinse a dish. In retrospect, maybe this wasn’t the best place to store treats; however, it’s the most convenient place. Maybe this is why Cos needs to lose a pound or two.

5. Stranger danger

"So outta here."
“So outta here.”

When I walk through the front door, my cats think an axe murderer has come to call. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration; however, they sure do act like it. As I step into my apartment, I see both cats take off like cockroaches when the light’s turned on. I don’t have cockroaches, but I grew up in the south and am familiar with the beasties.

As soon as they realize it’s me and not some fiend, they relax and greet me. I’m kinda fiendish, but in a good way. Ask my cats.


"You're decorating the Christmas TREAT? Heck yes."
“You’re decorating the Christmas TREAT? Heck yeah!”

Again with the treats. Cosmo in particular is all too familiar with the hard “t” sound, and believes anytime I say a work that has that sound, he’ll score a cat treat. This is why I’ve tried to find other words for “tree,” “teal,” and “team.” This is especially difficult at Christmas because every time I refer to our tree, he constantly assumes he’s getting a Christmas “treat.”

Does your cat make assumptions? Tell us about them in the comments!

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