5 Cat Things You'll Have to Do if You Want to Hang with Me
I've always been a cat person (now a cat lady). As a young girl I collected cat figurines and read all the Garfield comic books cover-to-cover more times than I could count. We always shared our home with cats; honestly, I wouldn't know how to be in a world without cats. It'd be a ridiculously dismal place, that's for sure.
Because I'm a lifetime cat lover, my friends have come to know they're better off settling into my groove if they want to spend time with me -- and my groove is awesome. Come groove with me! Here are five ways to get into my cat-groove:
1. Listen to my cat stories
I like to talk about my cats -- and why wouldn't I? They're incredible creatures. Not only are they the smartest cats I've ever met, they are adorable and smell like heaven. Seriously, if you were to take a nice long huff of an angel's wings, you'd be like, "You're totally right -- that smells just like your cats."
2. Expect cat hair stuck to the tape of all your gifts
Have you ever tried to wrap a gift on the floor without the help of a cat? Me neither. They are the most helpful of assistants when it comes to wrapping presents. And their signature hair gets all over the place, especially on the tape. I consider it my cat's way of personalizing the gift-wrapping job with her mark of creativity. You're damn lucky if you receive a gift with cat fur stuck in the tape. It's like getting a golden ticket from a Wonka Bar.
3. Occasionally bring gifts for my cats
When you visit me, you must at least acknowledge my cats -- even if they don't acknowledge you. They get to be aloof -- they're cats. You don't get to be aloof. You know what you get to do? Bring my cat a little something now and again. I'd do the same for your cats. Cats are like little mafia bosses -- you bring them a token gift out of respect.
4. Look at my cat photos
Yes, I have eleventy billion cat photos on my phone. So what? Sometimes I want my friends to see one or 50 of them. A good friend will sit through all the photos and make appropriately pleasing comments. Occasionally, I may want a second opinion on which photo I should include in one of my blog or Catster posts. I know I have 13 photos that practically all look the same, but there are subtle differences. Friends help friends choose the best cat pic of the bunch. And they do it with the utmost interest and enthusiasm.
5. Pause conversations for cat pics
So you're over for coffee and we're talking about your marriage troubles and I suddenly notice one of my cats is looking absolutely adorable. My friends know I will pause that conversation and snap that photo. Then we will dive back into our talk, without even missing a beat. People with whom I've been friends awhile totally get this and don't take it all personally. This is part of my groove. It's what you sign on for when you become my friend. Conversations with a built-in, cat-shaped pause button.
What can your people expect if they become friends with you and your cats? Tell us in the comments!
Let Catster make you laugh:
- 5 Photos of Cats Who Look Suspiciously Like Other Animals
- I Saw Through My Cats' Eyes with a Collar Camera
- The Pros and Cons of My Cats as Health Care Providers
Read more by Angie Bailey:
- 9 Haiku Poems from Deep Thinking Cats
- Texts from Mittens: A Cat's Twisted Inner World Revealed
- And Now, 5 Photos of My Cats Caught in the Act
- What Happens When My Cats Tell Me What to Wear
- It's Impossible to Be Mad at These 6 Cats
- My Cats Are Addicts: 5 Reasons They Would Land in Rehab
- 5 Parts of Cat Anatomy That Crack Me Up
- What if Cats Held Office Jobs? Worst. Cubicle Mates. EVER!
- 8 Cats Who Look Like Ice Cream
About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.