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Timo's Tall Tales

Somebody won the lottery

Before you come banging on my door, we didn’t win the lottery. Otherwise I'd be writing you from Maui right now. At least I don't think it was us. Nobody actually knows who won the Hot Lotto prize worth as much as 14.3 million. You have purrobably heard of the lotto saga here in Iowa. The prize went unclaimed for a little over a year. Then some mysterious lawyer from Mew York stepped forward, two hours before the ticket was to expire, and said: I claim the prize on behalf of the winner. Who’s the winner? He says he represents a trust. He had the winning ticket. The police investigated and found that it was the real ticket.

But the Iowa Lotto officials refused to pay because Iowa law says the names of the people behind the trust have to be made know to the Lotto officials. So they set this Mew York lawyer a deadline, which was yesterday, to tell the names. Everybody in Iowa was waiting to hear: who is the winner? why didn’t they claim this prize earlier?
Well, Furrsday evening the lawyer said ‘forget it’ and withdrew his claim. He says he doesn’t know the names of the people behind the trust.

Now a lot of people are wondering: Why would the people in the trust not want their names to be known? Who would turn down 14.3 million?
Somebody who has lots of money already and doesn’t need any more? Donald Trump, Mitt Romney? Is there something shady going on?

What’s a trust you say? Well, it works like this. Let’s say Pipo, Finney and I realize that we got so many presents for Christmas, we can’t play with all of them. So we decide to pool all our extra toys together in a trust. This way we’ll have them for leaner times. Also all our mousies together are probably going to multiply. That’s what the humans call interest. Now we need a safe place to store our abundance. How about Belize? A small country in the middle of Central America with a nice beach. Our mousies will feel great over there. Now we need a name for our trust so that the Belize people know who’s toys those are. Hmmm, help me think here, how about The Three Stooges Investment Trust.
Ha, extra bonus. The Belize people say we don’t even have to write down our names anywhere. They give us a secret password and so nobody knows who’s really behind the Three Stooges Trust.

Now on a side note: Mom has shopped in that QuikTrip where the winning ticket was bought. More than once actually. It’s in our neck of the woods. Hmmm, that makes me wonder…… Mom always says money won’t make you happy…. But really, Mom….

Today is National BURD DAY

Oh my gosh. I had no idea. Mom saw it on that FB thingy. Today is national BURD day. Quick. Help me think. How should we celebrate this occasion?

I'm thinking a big, juicy turkey maybe? Nope, takes too long to make.

We need a burd! How can I celebrate national burd day without a burd in the house? I know cats who have finches and parakeets and fun things like that. Why can't we have burds, Mom?

I know. I can finally get that burd off the Christmas tree. Yes, it's still sitting up there. Yes, we still have the tree up. Mom says they usually leave it up 'til January 6 in Germany because that's Three Kings Day. You know. The three kings from the east who brought presents to baby Jesus. I love our tree. I bat at it sometimes. I'm happy that it's still up. Yes, I will remove my Christmas music off this page, eventually.

Need to take a nap now and dream about burds.
Peep, Peep

The Bacon Fest is sold out!!

Happy New Year from me also.
While Mietzi reported on trivial stuff, like doing squat or not doing squat, I need to inform you about the important news.

The 5th Annual Bacon Fest is sold out!!! Sorry, all 4,000 tickets were snatched up in only 25 minutes. If you want to try to sneak in to the Des Moines Bacon Fest, be at my house on February 18th at 11:00 a.m. central time, and I'll distract the ticket taker. Wear something that blends in, OK?