Throwing Up For a Reason

Here are my reasons for throwing up today and why it wasn't Calvin (it usually is):

1. It was in my room ~ of course, on carpet! I'm not about to throw up on a bare floor. How uncivilized!

2. I came downstairs for my morning snack and I smelled something that didn't in any way resemble the blue can of food that I insist on eating.

3. I found out it was a "free" can of food when another purchase was made.

4. I am not about to eat anything that is "free"! Do I look like a cat that wants to be used as an experiment? That is enough reason right there for throwing up!

5. I was bored.

6. I wanted attention.


Wonder what I can do tomorrow. . . . . .

Eeeewwwww ~ Nasty!

Violet just came inside and started telling Calvin and me about the big mole that got trapped and killed in the backyard.

Calvin was sniffing Violet's paws like there was mole-juice on them - ugh! How gross is that anyway? I don't want to have anything to do with moles or their disgusting juice!

Violet calls it "cat caviar". I guess some unsophisticated former stray would think that is "good eats", but I'll take Fancy Feast anyday ~ just not the red can, please. And it must be refrigerated - we've been over this before!

Violet and Calvin are huddled together talking about the "big catch" of the day. They are the most obnoxious cats! Why can't I live with some other feminine, prissy cats? We could spend all day talking about our beauty and how to make others appreciate us.

Where's my mirror. . . . . .

All By Myself!

Weekends are pretty good around here because if I'm lucky, Mawmee and Daddy will go work outside and they'll take Violet and Autumn with them.

That leaves me with the big blonde boy (aka Calvin) to beat up and boss around!

Today he went whining and crying because he wanted to go outside like everyone else.

YIPPPEEEE ~ they took him outside. Now, if they would just lose him in the woods, life would be perfect! I'm sure they'll hold on tight to him because he couldn't survive 5 minutes on his own.

Ahhhhhhhh. . . . . . . peace and quiet! I finally have the house to myself.

I think I'll check out Calvin's food bowl first. That was boring ~ he has the same stuff I have in my bowl.

I think I'll play with those milk rings. I don't like to be seen playing in public ~ it ruins my prissy reputation.

I think I'll go sleep on Autumn's bed. P-U - they've got to give that dog a bath!

Being by myself isn't all it's cracked up to be.

MAWMEE ~ I wanna go outside too. . . . . .

Pretty in Pink!

Why, yes, Mawmee, I'd love to get dressed up for the Go Pink stroll!

Finally, I am getting a little respect and admiration for being the only female cat in the house, and the most beautiful.

I was a little surprised myself that I would enjoy wearing a crown, but then again, I am the princess! Wait a minute, I am the queen, and I shall be treated royally!

Where are those two hand servants of mine?

Oh Calvin, Oh Violet. . . . . . .

The Feeding Ritual

Okay, here is the deal. Our dry food is out all the time, so we can eat whenever we want. Of course, that is the way it should be!

Twice a day we get a little wet food. I'm talking a teaspoonful - it is hardly worth me coming down the stairs to eat it, but I try to keep Mommy happy.

There are certain can colors I do not like - red is my least favorite. How many times do I have to tell Mommy that the blue can is really the only one I want to eat.

And I want my food to be cold ~ I want to see it coming out of the refrigerator!

So, today she tries to give me room temperature food from the green can!

HELLOOOOOOOOOO? Didn't you try that once before, and I turned my nose up at it? What is with humans ~ their memory is just the pits.

I also don't want any noise while I eat. That includes running the water in the sink to clean off the spoon.

I guess I'm going to offer a training class called "How to Feed Samoa Correctly"!

Quiet on the set. . . . . .where is that cold, blue can. . . . . . . .

Not In Charge of Me!

Calvin just handed me the lyrics of some stupid song that he wants us all to practice and sing to him tonight! He mumbled something about the family's new theme song.

The boy has gone over the edge. I am not about to sing this song, or any song, to that mamma's boy.

"Calvin in charge of my days and my nights . . . . . I want Calvin in charge of me"??????? He has got to be kidding! He can hardly take care of himself, and he thinks he has enough brain power to take care of the rest of us?

The stuff I have to put up with in this house . . . . . . .

Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Fire!

We had a big thunderstorm last night with lots of lightening. I'm very scared of thunder and lightening. It all comes from my lonely days of living in the wild as a stray.

I try to block out those memories. I don't want Mommy to send me to therapy, although I'm sure Calvin and Violet think I need therapy!

Little do they realize it is all a big act! You see, if you are scared of stuff, then people will give you extra attention. It's plain and simple cat logic.

Here are some examples:

Vacuum cleaner = hide under the bed = "Come on out, I'm done, let me comb you."

Aluminum foil = run like crazy = "I'm sorry, come here and let me pet you."

Ride in the car = meow like you're being hurt = "Now that wasn't so bad, let's get you a treat."

There are many tricks that us cats need to share. . . . . . .

No Comment!

I will not comment on the events of today regarding my sister Violet.

It is an outrage ~ totally unfair! My diary must be getting lost in the shuffle. Doesn't brains and beauty count for something around here on Catster?

And to top it off? I went in my bedroom to have a little pity party, and who do you think is sleeping on MY window shelf? CALVIN ~ the little twerp!

I guess I'm going to become friends with the dog because it is impossible to get along with Calvin and Violet now that they both have been awarded Diary of the Day! They keep whispering to each other and then look at me and start laughing.

What is so funny anyway? I could be Diary of the Day any 'ole day. It's not a big deal. I don't even want to be Diary of the Day!

Like I said, no comment. . . . . .

It's Her Party, and She'll Cry If She Wants To. . .

I think the whole world knows that today is Autumn's 12th birthday.

I could really care less, but Mawmee said we needed to entertain Autumn because she was going to be outside working in the yard.

We spent the most boring hour listening to Calvin read that obnoxious Catster Diary of his. He called it a dramatic reading. It would have been dramatic had I swatted him in the middle of it ~ he!he!he!

I looked over and saw Violet yawning and nodding off to sleep. I gave her a mean look, like only I can do, because if I had to stay awake and listen to him go on and on, then she did too!

Autumn got a squeaky duck present, and that is when I went upstairs. She has the whole living room cluttered with her slobbery toys. I'm only into toys if no one is looking. I don't want to look too childish in front of my sisters and brother. After all, I am the sophisticated cat!

And then the treats came out. I like to be called to come get my treats. A cat should never appear too anxious.

Making people wait for you is a good thing. . .

Ahhhh Spring!

I went outside today. Yea, I know, I'm an indoor cat! I used to be an outside cat, and there is nothing better than the smell of spring.

My Mawmee and Daddy were smart when they built our deck. It is up on the second floor, and there are no stairs, so if we are supervised, we can go out there and look around.

I told Mawmee that I wanted to go see the birdies flying around. It was soooooo much fun! When I'm feeling really brave, I'll stick my head through the railing to get a better look at those squirrels! That makes Mawmee nervous cause she thinks I might try to squeeze through. I'm not that stupid ~ it is a loooooong way to the ground!

Calvin, the big baby, came out for about 3 seconds and then got scared and had to go back inside. He doesn't know what he is missing!

Oh yea, we also had a big meeting to plan the dog's birthday party which is tomorrow. I might go, I haven't decided yet. I'm not too crazy about the dog. Autumn kisses Violet all the time ~ I don't want that dog slobber all over my face.

I'd better give myself a bath just in case I go to the party. . . . .