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Toby's Diary

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November 7th 2013 10:45 pm
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When it's cold and I don't want to play outside I like to chase Josie. When she's had enough I like my mum to amuse me - maybe Da Bird, maybe the laser pointer, maybe some new game. I'm pretty easy to please really.

Last night - Da Bird. How I love that game. How I leap! How I jump! How I defy the laws of gravity in a balletic display of grace! How I thunked.....

Bang! So intent on Da Bird fluttering irrisistably just out of reach was I that I didn't see how close to the unit I had got until I hit it.

"Ooooooh" said my mum. "Ooooooh" said my insides.

I continued my path to behind the armchair to re-group. Hm. Nothing brokened. Good.

I emerged for my applause.

"Poor Toby," said my mum. "Are you OK?"

I lay down to consider this. Being thunked is surprisingly tiring. I gradually started to close my eyes.

"Toby! Oh my gosh!" said my mum and ran with pleasing haste to my side and stroked me.

"What?" I asked, giving her a playful bat with my paw.

"I thought you had knocked yourself out there."

"Nah! Didn't hurt. Shall we continue?" Up to my feet and ready to pounce.

So we did. It takes more than a thunking to stop me.


Happier cats

November 6th 2013 10:45 pm
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Last night there were hardly any bangs at all. Josie and I celebrated in proper cat style - lots of running around and leaping, chasing each other into every corner of the flat. It was brilliant.

Then we were sleepy so we each had a comfy place in the sitting room and we curled up.

But then, through our dreams, came an enticing sound. Oh yes - my mum was having another go at her jigsaw. She must need feline assistance. Never slow at stepping forward we both jumped up on the table and on to the jigsaw to see how best we could help.

"You were both fast asleep," commented my mum. "Please go back and be fast asleep again."

After a few perfunctory paw swipes Josie did but I'm made of sterner stuff.

"I'll just finish off this corner for you," I suggested. I thought my mum had it wrong so started taking the pieces apart.

"Stop that," said my mum. I continued. A hand pushed me back, rather rudely I thought. I sneaked a paw under the hand and continued.

"Toby!" a low warning tone but I was a cat on a mission. One more go and I really could sort that corner out. Mum pushed my paw back again so I bit her. Not hard, a friendly warning really.

I had forgotten how she feels about being bitten.

Out of nowhere I found two hands round my middle and I was swept off the table and placed on the floor. Yes, I felt a bit humiliated. Luckily I know what to do when I feel small and off I trotted.

"And leave Josie be!" came the command. But I always feel better after I beat her up..

Cats never lose arguments. I jumped back on the table, curled up on the jigsaw and shut my eyes firmly. I wasn't interfering but I was most decidedly part of the action. That worked for me.

Mum continued around me.

The jigsaw is not yet complete but mum says she is determined to have it done before Christmas so we have more fun with that yet!


We do not like fireworks!

November 5th 2013 10:28 pm
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Last night was the Fireworks Night and they banged and whistled and hissed and we all stayed safe at home. I decided the safest place would be under the throw on the armchair; a cosy little tent from where I couldn't see the fireworks and they couldn't see me.

Josie sat close by my mum. Then I heard mum say, "Ahh Josie. Of course you can have some stroksies" and a gentle rumble of purr. Then mum said "Josie - what are you after?" then "You want my place?" and the sound of movement.

When I emerged from my tent Josie was contentedly curled up where mum had been sitting having pushed mum out of her seat. Josie likes the warm mum leaves behind. Mum was sitting next to her wondering how that had happened.

I miss being in the garden but the bangs should start stopping now and we can go back to normal.

Cats celebrate things by running around and being happy and a bowl of something tasty and I wish people did too!!



November 4th 2013 10:37 pm
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Mum seemed very tired last night. She kept yawning.

"Do you need a sleep?" I enquired politely.

"No," she replied. "I was watching a programme about dogs and it says they have so much empathy they yawn along with their humans. I was wondering about you two."

I thought back. No yawns.

"No empathy," said my mum, a little sadly.

"What's empathy anyway? And why do the dogs get all of it?"

"It's being able to feel what someone else is feeling. For example if I was sad you would fell sad too and try and cheer me up."

I considered this. I don't particularly like to be sad so wasn't sure why I would want mum's sad too.

"The dogs can keep it," I said.

Anyway we do cheer my mum up which is why she's hardly ever sad. We do it by being such amazing, wonderful and beautiful creatures and letting her share our home with us.

Having said that I would like a dog if it would fight Smudge for me but mum says we can't have one as she is out at work all day and dogs need company. We would have had a pet mouse to keep it company if Josie hadn't killed it of course but that is what happened so no dog for us.


A valuable lesson for my mum

November 3rd 2013 10:29 pm
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Josie and I hate the hoover but once a week mum releases it from its cupboard and struggles to control it as it greedily gobbles up everything in its path - all the dust or crumbs and kitty hair but also any ball or overlooked kitty treat vanishes down its long neck. And once a month mum takes its head off and allows it it poke its neck behind and under and around things. That's really scary as sometimes it pokes where we're hiding. And it growls horribly all the time.

Mum did this on Saturday and by the end the growl had become a hideous wailing.

"That's not right," said my mum. She pulled the head off and started taking it to bits. Then... "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Fur!" She skipped about squealing for a bit. "I may have found the other half of the mouse."

Then she calmed down a bit and talked to herself as she is wont to do on such occasions. "Come on Harriet - you have to deal with it."

She got a pokey thing and poked at where the fur was blocking and out fell - a small toy mouse. Told you it eats our toys.

My mum threw it away on account of it all being dusty and she couldn't face ever having that happen again.

Hopefully she has learnt never to let the hoover out again.

It is our fireworks time over here in the UK and we don't like tham so we were already having a bad weekend. The bangs are one thing but we really hate the ones that hiss like a massive and very angry invisible cat. I am quite brave but Josie's been hiding a lot.


My mum loves Halloween

October 31st 2013 11:33 pm
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She was late home yesterday because she had stopped off to buy some tasty treats for the Trick or Treat kids.

"And for us?" was my very natural enquiry.

"Of course" was her inevitable response. We have her well-trained.

She arranged the treats all mixed up in an orange pail and set about her supper. She ate it and then said, "Now I have to go out."

"I think you may have over-catered for the Trick or Treat kids" I commented.

"Like last year," I added.

"Oh well. Better too much than too little" my mum replied.

Not one kid had knocked at our door.

"Does this mean you have to finish them up?" I pondered.

"Like last year," I added.

"Can't let good treats go to waste!" came the reply. We taught her everything she knows!!


Mum's Dream was a Premonition

October 30th 2013 11:50 pm
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I was happily trotting around my garden last night when Smudge appeared. Mum says there is no shame in running away from him - he is twice my size - so I legged it towards safety.

But he is an evil cat and cut off my escape route. I tried veering to beside the flat to climb over the fence but he caught up with me.

"Now I've got you," he howled menacingly. I tried frantically to climb away but he was everywhere. I heard my mum call but if he can't see her actually coming for him he doesn't care. I have never been so frightened.

Then - sweet relief - mum appeared and off he ran. I ran straight to my door scarbbling at it - "Let me in!!"

Mum said "I'm behind you, not indoors to let you in" but I was so panicked I just kept pounding at the door. Then she picked me up and carried me back inside. I was never so happy to be home.

Smudge had made a lot of noise and Paul called from next door was it their cat and mum said yes it was. Because it was.

Mum checked me very gently all over and doesn't think I've been bitten but my claws are a bit mashed up where I was scrabbling for safety. I spent a good half hour getting them presentable again. Some are still bad but mum says they'll grow back.

Then I noticed Josie. I didn't want her to think I had gone soft so I pounced on her but my mum stopped me saying it wasn't Josie's fault.

Since then I've had lots of special love and cuddles and a special dinner and I needed it I can tell you. I am happy playing in my own garden. I wish Smudge was happy staying in his!


Mum's bad dream

October 29th 2013 11:38 pm
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Tuesday evenings are quiet night in. Yesterday we were the cosiest home in Cosy Town all three falled asleep on the sofa. My mum was lying back on the cushions with Josie on her legs and I was nestled against mum's feet.

Suddenly my mum shot up and ran to the doors exclaining "Cats!" and then she looked at Josie and me. Both of us had shot up too (Josie didn't really get a choice in that one and if something had scared my mum that much I needed to be moving.)

Mum looked at us and said, "Oh" and then "I'm sorry."

Turns out she had dreamed that we were being beaten up by Smudge and had woken up determined to rescue us. Only we weren't. Nice to know even sleeping she cares about us.

I expect she was rememebering the weekend when Smudge not only came to beat me up but brought Leo, one of their other cats, along. How is two against one fair? I could see Leo wasn't exactly keen. He was really hanging back and when my mum went to chase them away he was gone in a flash muttering, "I knew this was a bad idea".

Mum says Smudge isn't really a bad cat, he just had a bad kitten-hood and is much better now he has a loving home but it isn't her that gets beaten up all the time!


Storm Update

October 28th 2013 11:37 pm
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After my mum finished my diary yesterday the winds got more and more noisy. We could see the trees waving around and things skittering about and then there was a big crash.

My mum ran to the window but everything looked normal so she ran to the front of the flat and then she saw what had happened.

"Josie," she asked, "How did everything fall off my bedside table?"

Josie thought it might have been the wind but she couldn't rightly remember. Mum was pretty sure it wasn't the wind on account of the wind being outside but some of it had got inside Josie's head and she was a bit bouncy so it was actually the wind's fault.

Then my mum looked in the back garden and said, "Uh Oh! It's going, it's going,'s hanging's's gone."

Our favourite fence panel had wibbled and wobbled and finally gave up the ghost so we now have much easier access to next door's garden which is excellent. It was our favourite as it had enough of a hole in for us cats to squeeze through and my mum said that could be why it fell, cats and foxes pushing on it won't have been good for it.

Mum went to work and she said she saw lots of fallen trees and when she went to the park the dogs had so many sticks to choose from to chase but the storm is gone now and we don't really miss it.


The storm

October 27th 2013 11:39 pm
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The weatherman said there was a big storm brewing in the sea and everyone should be prepared.

"Have you got our boxes ready in case we need to evacuate?" I asked my mum.

"This is the UK, Toby. It will be wet and windy but we won't have to evacuate."

I was a little disappointed. It had sounded more exciting than that. Mum looked at me.

"We could lose our power," she suggested.

"What would that mean?" I asked.

"We wouldn't be able to see with no lights," said my mum.

I considered that one. "You mean you wouldn't be able to see. Josie and I would be OK with our cat eyes."

"We would have to snuggle up for warmth though and make our own entertainment," said my mum.

Like normal then for us cats. You don't need power to bat a ball around. So we went to bed wondering what the storm would bring.

We had to wake my mum this morning as she looked like she would oversleep and be late for work.

She wasn't the least bit grateful and asked if we had remembered the clocks had changed. We thought that was just yesterday but it turns out it's for months now.

It is pretty windy this morning but mum says it looks like it hasn't been as bad as they feared and we didn't lose our power. Josie has been out and run around in the wind but I've stayed in as it looks a little scary.

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