Toby's Diary

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More things cats can teach people

August 20th 2012 10:30 pm
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My mum has been on another course. You would think she would be really clever by now but there is still a lot of room for improvement.

I too like to learn so I asked her about what it.

"It was Presentation Skills"

"What's that?"

"It's about things like how to get everybody's attention when you walk in a room."

Now if I don't want mum to see me then the first she will know is my paw hooking a tasty morsel off her plate but if I want the atention....

"Don't you just walk in the middle and say hello, I'm Toby"

"But I'm not"

I could see her problem.

"What else did you learn?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"But you will..."

"We learned how to breathe".

Now my mum may not be the sharpest claw on the paw but I've never doubted her ability to breathe. In, out all day. She seems to manage that no problem.

Anyway turns out there is a reason. Us cats breathe properly, you'll see the movement is right down our bodies but people breathe from too high up their lungs.

"So now we've established that I have a better strategy, I am the natural Leader and I can even breathe better than you."

"It does look that way."

Every time my mum takes a course she learns even more how magnificent cats are so maybe the time isn't wasted after all.


Warm weekend

August 19th 2012 10:40 pm
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It was very warm this weekend. I reckoned it must be at least as hot as my friends have it but mum says it probably wasn't even 90 but it was hot for us.

I couldn't bear to be indoors and luckily mum was mostly home so almost the whole weekend I was out. When I did come in I found mum and Josie huddled in front of the fan to stay cool. The other cat we think was out was little Leo, the kitten from next door. Mum knew he was due his second lot of shots and they were planning to let him see the wonderful world of garden and we heard them calling him so it sounds like he liked it.

It was also Josie's Gotcha Day. Mum and Josie have been together for a whole five years. Mum asked Josie what she would like to do to celebrate. Josie gave this important question much thought.

"I would like to play with my feather stick and then have some dleicious food and then sleep on my bed WITHOUT Toby attacking me."

This was the most difficult thing anyone has asked of me and it's lucky I was so busy outside and I was able to leave Josie be all day. I am very proud of myself.

Actually she and mum were having such a good time Josie did try and stop me coming back in one time. She had found her Inner Tiger and I was getting smacky paw and I hadn't even done anything. Mum made her stop as this is my home too.


My favourite visitor ever

August 16th 2012 10:31 pm
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A few nights ago I was helping my mum shop on the puter. And my helpfulness really paid off when the man came last night.

Mum answered the door and there he was with boxes and boxes of cat food. Everyone should arrive like that! Mum looked at it and asked if there was anything for her in the boxes and the man looked and he found some diet cola but that was pretty much it. Our normal food, our special food, our biscuits and some treats.

When mum was putting it all away she wondered if she could really have ordered so much but of course I had been there helpfully reminding her. "Cat food is heavy so you might as well get plenty while he's coming"

Turns out though just because there is a lot we don't get extra portions. Actually because it's been warm we haven't been so hungry as normal. We are on half rations. Mum says she doesn't mind how much we eat but she is danged if she is throwing food away every day.

Nearly the weekend - we're ready for happy times with mum.


Josie being crazy cat

August 15th 2012 10:34 pm
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Last night we were all being normal. Josie and I had a good run in the garden (no frogs yesterday - they do seem to come out more when it's wet and it was a sunny evening). Then we came in. I curled up on my bed and Josie was perched on the back of the armchair and mum was watching something on TV that was making her laugh.

Then all of a sudden Josie leapt up, sprang into the air and bounded out of the room.

We both looked at her. I said, "No idea". Josie ran through again "Chaaaaarrrggee!" she was calling and indeed she did. Mum asked if I didn't want to join in but I was enjoying the show.

Mum says I am always a bit crazy and but Josie is mostly normal with little pockets of crazy. Apparently that's more disconcerting.

I said there's nothing crazy about it and she should try just running around bouncing off things as it is fun and you don't need a reason. Maybe it would make her work day more interesting? Mum said this is why cats don't work in offices. If you can't bounce this is why cats don't want to work in offices!


Good manners

August 14th 2012 10:34 pm
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Mum went out yesterday evening to see my friend Alison. The set up there is very similar to ours - handsome younger boy cat and beautiful older tortie cat.

Mum came back full of praise for Sandy which is the younger cat. She reckons I should go and stay with them and have Sandy teach me some manners.

"What do you mean?"

"I was telling them how you always take Josie's food and they told me that at mealtimes Sandy waits until Minnie has had enough to eat before he starts."

"Why would he do that?"

"He is a gentleman cat."

I pondered this but have decided not to be a gentleman cat after all. He does run the terrible risk of missing out on something in the other bowl after all.

Mum said on reflection it might be more that Minnie taught Sandy to do that when he arrived as a kitten and maybe Josie needs to go on Assertiveness Training and get in touch with her Inner Tiger.

I do not wish this to happen. I am very content with things just the way that they are!


Good chase games

August 13th 2012 10:37 pm
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We can tell the Lympics are over as when the atheletes flew away they took the sunshine they had brought with them and we are back to rainy weather. Everyone here is very happy with how they went and we'll miss watching the exciting contests every day.

But us cats are never down for long. Josie and I were both full of energy yesterday and even after mum had gone to bed we were chasing each other all around. Sometimes I love to have a sisfer.

This morning my mum wanted to know why we hadn't tidied up after the chases though. It is true that quite a few things weren't where she had left them and the throw slid down the chair all on its own. I'm sure it did.

Anyway I'm too busy frog hunting this morning to be bothered about tidying up so she'll have to do it herself. And I reckon some things look better on the floor. It's not like we actually broke anything.


Surprise visitors

August 12th 2012 10:45 pm
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On Saturday Paul came round and asked if mum had seen Nipper. Nipper is a handsome black cat like me who lives next door. He was due to go to the vet and although they had locked their cats' door he had lived up to his name and nipped somehow.

They went in the garden to see if he was hiding somewhere there and I went to help looking in the places I would go if I wanted to avoid a vet visit.

Turns out when you are looking for one black cat having another black cat skulking about isn't particularly helpful.

Mum said, "I see a black tail. It moved that way." And they both went to look but it was MY tail.

You'll be glad to know that Nipper was found all very smug and pleased with himself a safe time after it was too late to go to the vet. He was indoors so they don't know if he was all the time and hiding or if he had managed to get out and come home again.

Next time I see him I must ask him and get some top tips!


Mum's Medal

August 9th 2012 10:35 pm
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Mum was very late home last night and she explained that she had been at her office Lympics. To celebrate the real Lympics they had a barbecue and races and my mum got a Bronze Medal. She showed it to us and it dangled appealingly on its ribbon but I never realised medals were made of cardboard.

We wondered what she had done to win it. Did she run fast over hurdles? Somersault and leap on a beam? Sailing? Judo? Rowing?

"Egg and Spoon Race"

We considered this. Now it may just be that Josie and I haven't been paying enough attention but neither of us can remember seeing Egg and Spoon Race on TV this Lympics. Maybe those atheletes can't combine their speed with the dexterity required to hold an egg steady.

Anyway we are very proud of our mum. I did try and get her a frog to celebrate but they were a bit too fast for me yesterday. I'll try again this morning.


Sharing frogs

August 8th 2012 10:37 pm
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I brought a frog in last night, dropped it on the carpet and gave it the usual tap with my paw. But he didn't hoppity hop in that funny way I like to see.

I looked at mum. "You can have this one. He's broken" and I rushed off to find another one.

Mum called after me - I think in delight.

Josie says when mum flipped the frog on his front turns out he wasn't broken, just upside down, so mum got to chase him anyway. I did see her come out in the garden with something and she looked at me and what she was holding and she dropped it over the fence so I don't know if it was the frog or not. And I never did find another one.

I also want to add an etiquette reminder to any mums reading this as my mum seems to have forgotten. If your cat misjudges his step and falls between the bed and the bedside table the correct response is to look away and pretend you saw nothing while your cat recovers himself. The wrong response is to laugh at your cat. (It was before breakfast - I was weak with hunger!)


Sharing the love - and the dribble

August 7th 2012 10:37 pm
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When my mum and I have special snuggle time I feel all happy inside. I get headrubs and strokes and she rubs my tummy and I purr and purr. And sometimes all that love leaks out in the form of a little bit of dribbling.

It happened yesterday. I was sitting next to mum enjoying the most exquisite caresses when mum suddenly went "Yeuch - you dribbled on me Toby" and she moved the non-stroking hand away and rubbed the dribble off her hand back on to me.

I realised I was on to something there - two handed stroking. But how to get more dribble on that hand now she had moved it? I waited until I had a lot again and then shook my head violently. Dribble flew everywhere, on her hands, on her arms, on the sofa. I have rarely been more impressed with myself.

It didn't quite work out as planned though. Mum went to the bathroom to rinse off. Time for another plan....

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