Toby's Diary

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Mum thwacked Josie

January 15th 2013 10:37 pm
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It was brilliant!

As if my mum isn't confused enough sometimes she likes to relax with a puzzle book. Yesterday was one of those evenings - but she couldn't find the book. Was it in the magazine rack? No. Had it fallen under the sofa? No. Was it - and here's where it gets interesting - under the throw and/or cushions on the sofa?

As mum pulled them all around Josie wanted to help and came up to go under the throw. Mum didn't see her move and threw her arm back and THWACK - right on Josie's nose. I haven't laughed so much in ages.

The search was abandoned as mum went to console Josie. She ended up consoling her with a little beef that was in the fridge and I had some too so all in all it was great.

I am all betterer now from my poorly tummy. I didn't like being poorly and don't think I'll bother with that again. The good part is that my mum keeps being happy to see me eating and asking for games and she pretty much does everything I like so it was probably worth it.


My poorly tummy

January 14th 2013 10:39 pm
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When mum came home from work yesterday she gave us our supper. I sniffed it but my tummy didn't want any so I went and settled on my bed. I just didn't feel right. Then suddenly I felt really bad. I jumped up, yowled and ran to the kitchen, closely followed by my mum, and I was sick.

After mum tried to soothe me with strokes and soft words but my purr was gone. I just sat there feeling sorry for myself.

She brought me treats but I still felt bad. So she brought me different treats but I didn't want them either. I didn't want anything. So mum went out anyway.

She was home early (not as you might think on account of concern for me but she said only ten people showed up at dance class so they finished early). She asked me how I was and I was still sad. She served up some posh cat food with salmon and I sniffed it but didn't eat any. And then when I would normally be chasing Josie around I just sat with my mum.

Mum and I were both sad at bed time. Josie was very happy - meals in peace and no getting pounced on. She said she hoped I wouldn't get better too soon.

But she was out of luck! At about four o'clock this morning I did feel better. I went and woke mum up. I cranked the purr box up full blast and she was very happy with me. Not happy enough to get up and feed me but lots of snuggles happy.

Today I have enjoyed a hearty breakfast and Josie's breakfast and my tummy is back on form. Hoorah!

It did snow by the way yesterday but not enough to really make any difference - except to the people at mum's dance class it would seem.


Snow is coming

January 13th 2013 10:39 pm
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Or at least so mum says.

Yesterday when she and I changed the sheets on her bed it was extra good because she got the skinny duvet and buttoned it to the thicker one so she has one enormous soft duvet to keep her and Josie warm. This provided lots of bonus opportunities for me to grab at bits and tug the other way and wiggle myself under things. Mum tells me not to do it but she laughs as she's saying it so I keep going.

Just as mum warms everything up I've been busy preparing for Spring and shedding my coat. Mum was stroking me and noticed the spectacular flurries of cat hair that showered around with every caress. She got the furminator out and I had a wonderful brush. I just love that thing. I am now silky smooth and extra handsome and - yes, coatwise less warm.

Mum said she wasn't sure when the snow will come and at 5am I checked the window and it hasn't come yet so I woke my mum up to tell her. She wasn't as grateful as you might expect so I gave her lots of headrubs and purred right on her ear to make it worth her while being awake.

I wonder when it will be here. What I like best is heavy snow so my mum can't go out but she says she has a busy week at work so she really doesn't want that.


Mum's nose

January 10th 2013 10:39 pm
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Cats, of course, have elegant, neat noses. People noses are funny sticky outy things.

At night I like to sleep on the armchair in mum's room where I can see her but not get kicked when she rolls around in her sleep, as she selfishly insists on doing. Josie sleeps in her own bed but if she wakes and feels cold or lonely or just wants company she joins mum. I see her do that. Sometimes she wakes my mum for a snuggle; sometimes she just perches on mum and waits for her to wake up.

That's what she did today. I had an idea.

"Boop mum's funny nose!"

Josie looked at me, at mum's nose and she sniggered.

"Go on! Boop it!"

So she reached down with her paw and gave the nose a good bop with the pad of her paw. Mum woke up, muttered and buried her face in the pillow. If you need a job doing properly you have to to it yourself. What does Josie think her claws are for?

I jumped over to show her what I meant. Paw lined up with nose, claws deployed and twack the nose. That got a much better reaction. Proper speech.

"What is it with you two? I'm sleeping"

That was a lie. She was wide awake and talking to us. I guess that's why people have pointy noses - so their cats have a handy waking up device.

Then I asked mum if Spring is nearly here but she says it's going to get colder again. Maybe even some snow. I wished I hadn't woken her to hear that!


Bad Cat Josie

January 9th 2013 10:45 pm
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It's good not to be the naughty one!

The evening started fine. Josie was helping mum cook her supper - which was Cauliflower Cheese. Josie's task was to test the cheese. She has a fine appreciation of a smidge of cheddar and could make sure that mum wasn't eating bad cheese. Mum cooked and Josie tested the samples mum gave her and all was good.

Mum ate her cauliflower cheese and Josie and I got to lick the plate after. Both of us love cheese sauce so we were happy cats. I was content to leave it there but this is where Josie gets cheeky. She wanted more and she knew where to find it.

Mum often cooks double portions - one to eat there and then, one to go in a tub with her to work the next day. She had put half her colly cheese in a tub and it was cooling on the kitchen side. Cooling lid less.

Josie very quietly and sneakily jumped up there and was scoffing the sauce - she left the colly, she's not completely selfish.

Josie reckons the best part was that as she is normally the well behaved one it took mum a few moments to register what Josie was doing. We are not allowed on the kitchen sides and we are not allowed to eat mum's food unless she puts the plate on the floor and says we may.

So I am good cat Toby who didn't eat mum's lunch and Josie is in disgrace. She says it was worth it, it was fine cheddar cheese!


Bored Bored Bored!

January 8th 2013 10:35 pm
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Now obviously I am an extremely brave cat and would cheerfully go and face any number of black and white cats but I thought mum and Josie might get nervous if I was out so I stayed in last night. But I was bored. So terribly bored.

In fact I got so bored I even played with my ball in a track I got for Christmas. What a swizz that is! It doesn't matter how hard you hit the ball it's never coming out. What you need to do is to take the covers off so that's where I focussed my attention. I was doing quite well but mum kept snapping them back on, she said that wasn't the point.

Josie wandered in at one point to see what we were up to so I ambushed her but missed and did a rather undignified roly-poly which made my mum laugh and Josie run away again.

Eventually after a lot of pleading mum got out cat dancer so I was chasing that about. But I want summer back and light warm evenings with all the doors open so I chase frogs again. Mum says I'll have to wait a few months yet for that. I said then she'll have to come up with some more games for me then. She sighed. It's going to be a long winter!


New cat in the hood

January 7th 2013 10:32 pm
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He is quite large and black and white. Mum says he looks very handsome but Josie and I don't like him. He strolled up our garden path, cool like the cucumber, and asked if he could come in.

Josie yodelled in blood curdling tones to warn him off. She sang of how our mum likes to tear unwelcome cats from limb to limb with her bare hands so he would be scared.

"Wait a minute," said mum. "I never do that. Ever."

I considered this.

"Sometimes you pick me up for a cuddle when I'm not in the mood" I pointed out.

Josie said that unwanted affection is hardly the stuff of threatening songs and carried on. Outside cat lunged at the door but the magic held firm. Josie lashed back at the glass and he was gone. After a while I courageously went out to check and our garden was catless so Josie had scared him off. (Obviously I would have been even more scary but she got there first!"


Christmas is officially over

January 6th 2013 10:38 pm
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At the weekend I helped my mum take down all the decorations. I will most miss the tree. I liked to bob the baubles and watch my refection wibble about. Josie will most miss - mum had put some of our cards in a display thing and Josie liked to see it she could jump over it without knocking any cards down. She couldn't but that didn't stop her trying. So she will miss that.

It's very sad when Christmas ends. Mum was cheering herself up polishing off the Christmas biscuits. I said Josie and I should cheer ourselves up and polish off our Christmas treats but mum said no.

Mum did go through all our cards and some special ones have been put by and will be made into new cards and/or gift tags for next year. That makes Christmas 2013 feel not so far away and I felt better knowing that. The flat looks very bare without all the glitter and tinsel around.

Mum says we will have to find some new ways to keep happy. Hmm.


A very important message for my mum

January 3rd 2013 10:40 pm
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When I run in chewing on stuff my mum always jumps up and grabs it from my jaws. She says she worries about what I might swallow but I reckon if it fits in my mouth it must be OK to eat.

We definitely don't agree on that one.

Anyway yesterday I ran in with something and she took it and, as usual, asked, "what is it?"

It was a tiny strip of paper folded up so my mum unfolded it. It had writing on - it was an important message for my mum from us. She burst out laughing when she read it.

"Wherever did you find this?"

"That doesn't matter. It's just something you need to know."

She is still puzzling over where it came from and what it belonged to but what it says is, "we're bright and breezy and full of fun." And we are! It's very tiny writing and looks like it was cut from something longer and she cannot think what that could be. Typical human - why do they want to known all the time instead of just enjoying.


Famous Superstar Cat

January 2nd 2013 10:43 pm
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Last night my mum watched a programme on TV that really inspired me. It was about animals that star in films and TV shows. I could do that. I would love to do that.

I see myself as a feline James Bond. I have the sophisticated good looks and could do all my own stunts. I had a practice. See the daring spy leap to safety up the curtains! See how fast he runs through the flat and flys several feet through the air! See him wriggle under the throw and appear, a silent assassin coming from nowhere, to attack the toy fish. I could do the fight scenes too only mum said to stop annoying Josie. And I would drink my milk shaken, not stirred.

I was so sure this was my destiny that I was asking my mum where I sign up. She said to watch the programme more carefully. All the animals we saw have to do just what they are told to do when they are told to do it.

I don't take direction very well.

Mum said maybe we could practice me taking instructions but I didn't think that sounded fun at all. I curled up next to her and announced that the world will be deprived of this cat superstar after all. I needed a sleep.

But I dreamed of exciting adventures as Purred, James Purred, off to the rescue!

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