Toby's Diary

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A Cool Mat

July 31st 2014 10:41 pm
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I walked in the flat yesterday and nearly ooops.... a blue thing.

"Excuse me" I said politely, "I nearly stepped on your..." I sniffed it, "what is it?"

"That's actually for you," said my mum. "It's a cool mat. I've been worried about you and Josie in the heat but if you get too hot you can lie on it and it will cool you down."

Josie looked bewildered. "What is this thing you call 'too hot'?" she asked.

When my mum is tossing and turning and has kicked off everything and can't sleep Josie assumes that what mum needs is a warm furry body to nestle up to. Josie can never be too hot.

"I've seen Toby stretched out on the kitchen floor tiles to cool down," said my mum and it is true. I do do that. "It works like that only it isn't tiles. It's magic cool filling."

As you can imagine we're steering well clear of it.

 

Black Cats are the Best!!

July 30th 2014 10:39 pm
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Mum was reading the paper yesterday when a photo caught my eye - a handsome black cat.

"He's a splendid fellow," I commented. "Why is he in the newspaper? Something very brave and heroic no doubt."

Mum scanned the story. "It's saying that people don't want black cats because they don't photograph so well for web pages."

I was flabbergasted. Josie sniggered and licked one of her ginger patches.

"I think you photograph beautifully," said my mum hastily.

"You KNOW I photograph beautifully," I corrected her. "And, after all, I was pick of the litter for you."

There was an awkward silence.

"Actually you were the last one left," she finally said.

My mum is so silly. I was pick of the litter by Henry of all the kittens that he auditioned to mend mum's broken heart when he went to the Bridge. Of course I was the last one left - I was Reserved for her. And, though I say it myself, I did a pretty good job on the whole heart-mending thing.

But Catster is full of extremely photogenic cats of all colours including black and if people aren't choosing black cats they are missing out.

 

Josie - getting weirder

July 29th 2014 10:33 pm
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Where Josie is happiest sleeping at night is cuddled up with mum, under the duvet; invisible to any dragons that might fly past, soothed by the feeling of mum's breathing; feeling warmedly and loved. That's what she likes best - she wakes my mum to burrow her way in and my mum likes Josie cuddles too so it's all good.

Except at the moment mum doesn't have a duvet. She doesn't even have a sheet to sleep under so what's a cat to do? Well - Josie is a resourceful creature. If she can't bury her way under the duvet she'll bury her way under the pillow instead.

I know this because I saw her - and heard my mum saying "What are you doing, crazy cat?" then "How can I sleep with you pushing my pillow like that?" (but she wasn't sleeping much anyway so I think that one was unfair. Crazy cat was fair of course.)

Turns out under the pillow isn't a great place to sleep so Josie took one pillow for her bed and swished her tail in disapproval. Mum threatened to attach a fan to Josie's tail so at least the swishing could be usefully cooling mum down.

I am glad I have my own chair for night time sleeping and am well out of it.

 

Crunchy what?

July 28th 2014 10:40 pm
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One of the loveliest things is when your mum has your bowl in one hand, a box in the other and she says "I have a special treat for you."

That's what happened to me and Josie last night. I couldn't wait but it seemed to take forever for our bowls to be placed before our hungry mouths.

But what was this? I looked at Josie. She was looking at me with the same bewilderment I was feeling. I looked up at mum.

"Excuse me - there's stuff on our supper," I said.

"That's right. It's Crunchy Crumble topping especially made to delight you."

"Really?" I took another sniff. "I suppose I could work round it."

So I had to sort of eat sideways so as not to eat the little worm things. I ate a couple accidentally and they tasted Ok but why would any cat want their kitty food sprinkled with worms?

Mum should stick with what she knows we like but I think the kitty food manufacturers see her coming and say something is all new and delicious and bless her she buys it for us.

 

A happy, sunny weekend

July 27th 2014 10:36 pm
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It stayed all hot and sunny and I loved it. Although when I am snoozing and have my tummy toasting in the sunshine that is not an invitation for my mum to kiss my tummy as she seems to imagine.

I helped my mum in the garden - although one thing she did was weird. She crinkled egg shell and put it with the chilli plant. I'm pretty sure that's not how you grow eggs and so I told her.

"It's to discourage slugs. Dee told me to do it," she said.

"She was pulling your leg." A slug that cheerfully munches through a chilli pepper is hardly going to mind the odd bit of egg shell.

"I thought it worth a go. I don't want to use slug pellets in case a bird eats the slug and a cat eats the bird and gets poisoned."

"Eat a bird!? Opportunity would be a fine thing. Off you dash with them whenever I bring one near the flat."

"Kindly don't"

Actually I haven't been that succesful lately so I pretended it was out of consideration for my mum. It is cheating when the birds fly.

 

Mum should have knowed where I was

July 24th 2014 10:37 pm
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When my mum comes in the front door she calls out a cheery "Hello" so we know it's her and that's what she did yesterday. She is always extra cheery when she comes home from work.

Then I heard her say, "Hello Josie" as Josie went to greet her. Then a pause, then "Where's Toby?"

She looked in the sitting room but I wasn't there. She looked in the bedroom but I wasn't there. She looked in the kitchen but I didn't seem to be there either.

"Where is the boy?" I heard her mutter.

She must have knowed where I was, It was so obvious. I could hear cogs whirring and then, finally, "Oh!" and she found me.

Hot, sunny day - I wanted to be out, hunting. I didn't want to waste one single second inside, I was by our magic door, poised for mum to open it. She pulled the curtain back and saw me.

"Hello little one," she smiled.

"The door!" I reminded her. She opened it and I was gone in a flash.

"And good to see you too," I heard her say as I left.

I didn't really listen, oh sweet freedom!

 

Cats are great. Really.

July 23rd 2014 10:38 pm
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Yesterday mum was all grumpy on account of Josie waking her up and being too hot. Time for drastic action to make her smile again. It was hard but I did it - one bird, freshly caught, dropped at her feet.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Toby!!" she exclaimed. In delight I assume. She certainly vanished with it quick smart.

"Why do I have cats?" she asked. There are, of course, many excellent reasons she gets to have cats but I didn't like the way this was going. All day I pondered my plan. How to make sure she knows she loves us.

Bingo. I had it.

In the evening I waited until she was eating her supper and I went out and got in a fight. Big cat roars. Josie said it sort of worked. Mum put her tray on the floor and went running out.

"Where is he?" she asked, looking all round for the source of the yowls. She grabbed a chair and peered over the fence and looked down at Smudge.

"Is that you threatening my boy?" she asked but Smudge said firmly that no, it wasn't, so mum ran with her chair to the other fence and peered over. "Where is he?"

If she couldn't see me being all brave and heroic this wasn't really such a good plan. I leapt up on the fence so she would see my bushy fur and know I had been imperessive. She was gratifyingly pleased to see me and we went in.

The whole 'Cats are great and you love living with them' theme was then somewhat undermined by the fact Josie had seen the tray on the floor and was tucking in to mum's supper.

We need to work together on these things!!

 

Josie was naughty again

July 22nd 2014 10:43 pm
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Mum couldn't sleep last night. She rolled this way and that way, she squidged the pillows, she sighed, she put on pillow spray and cooling body spray and her fan, she muttered.

It was most inconsiderate, very hard for us cats to sleep through. Eventually, very eventually, there was sweet blissful silence.

"Is she asleep?" I called across to Josie from my chair.

Josie peered at mum's face. "Yes" she called back. Then there was a snigger. "Wasn't she funny?" Josie does a very good mum imitation. She rolled about on the mattress and she pawed at the pillows and she sighed and I laughed but then....

"What do you think you're doing?" came the voice.

Josie was so carried away with her own fun she didn't think her repsonse through but carried on thrashing her tail around and padding into the pillows. "I'm being you," she said.

"Do you know how long it took me to get to sleep?" asked my mum. Which was a foolish question as we knew exactly how long she had been keeping us awake for. Then mum sighed again, "You used to be so well-behaved." there was further argument about the desirability of a lively tortie amusing herself beside a tired human bean but exhaustion won the day and mum falled asleep, Josie curled up on mum's back and all was back to normal.

It's good entertainment for me when Josie unleashes her inner naughty tortie. Mum says it's sort of good that Josie must finally believe (after seven years) that this is her furever home however she behaves and partly bad as she did used to be so quiet and easy to live with. I say it's all good - except when Josie attacks me.

 

Quality cats deserve Quality food

July 21st 2014 10:38 pm
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Yesterday I was pootling about when I saw my mum with a large bag in one hand and my bowl in another. I immediately started demanding whatever was in the bag.

Mum laughed at me - "You don't even know what it is."

But I had a good feeling about it. A very good feeling.

I was right, natch!

Mum poured out the little biscuits and they were delicious. Josie heard me crunching and came trotting out for her share. Mum put some in Josie's bowl and she liked them as much as I did. So much so I had to go and finish hers off. Mum sighed and commented that I haven't stolen Josie's food in ages but this was so tasty it wasn't really stealing.

Happily it is a big bag so there's enough for both of us. Mum said not to get used to it though. It's an expensive one she wouldn't buy. Turns out Marie's cats had rejected it and she had asked mum if we might like to try it. I refuse to believe any cat spurned these biscuits by choice. I expect they wanted to give us a present.

Nothing is too good for me and Josie!!

 

Still hot and sleepy

July 20th 2014 10:45 pm
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This is just how hot I was.

I came in on Saturday and found Josie curled up on my bed. Normally I just give her a look and she runs off. I looked at her and she sighed, too sleepy to move. I mewed but she just lay there and you know, I decided I couldn't even be bothered to fight. I just lay down beside the bed instead.

Mum said, "Why can't you always be so nice?"

I am always so nice. Keeping Josie in her place and being boss cat keeps everything running smoothly in the household and that is nice.

Mum is getting bitten. I suggested she have evil smelling stuff on the back of her neck like Josie and I do. Mum always says that's to stop us getting bitten. Mum says it isn't fleas but mozzies that are biting her but I reckon she just doesn't want the bad smelling stuff.

When it's not too hot it's been stormy. I've even been getting used to the sky being rumbly as it's happened so much. I don't mind getting wet as the grass seeds stick extra well to wet fur. Mum let the hoover eat my last lot so I've needed to rebuild my collection.

 
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