Toby's Diary

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Everything is topsy turvy

October 28th 2014 12:55 am
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And I don't like it.

"Technically," I told my mum, "that's cheating. You can only use a claw to rip paper off the wall. You appear to have a special implement. I invented this game so I make the rules and even Josie wouldn't cheat like that."

"Josie never touched the wallpaper until you came along," mum commented.

"You're welcome," I said. "I can see that you don't like it."

"I was perfectly happy with it until you and Josie started tearing great chunks out of it," sid my mum. "I'm fed up of looking at it so off it comes."

She has moved all the furniture in the middle of the room. Josie found her favourite spot on the sofa and doesn't seem to have registered the difference but I don't like it.

"I'm going to paint," said my mum. "Nice smooth paint with nowhere for cats to get their claws in."

So we have a tin of paint and a funny tray and mum has her overalls out. Josie and I will, naturally, be on hand to help. Mum suggested we go out and play but it will be more entertaining watching her.

 

My mum is home again

October 26th 2014 11:47 pm
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Josie did her usual ping pong ball impression, bouncing all around the flat cheering. And the first night my mum was back Josie cuddled with her under the duvet and I swear that cat purred all night long.

"Did you miss us?" I asked my mum as she was giving me my morning snuggle.

"Very much," she replied. "Their cats just aren't the same." Josie suddenly skidded by. "That's probably for the best," commented my mum.

Then she stopped petting me and I had to give her an extremely firm reminder to carry on. She owes me several days-worth.

In other news we had that Jasper kitten from next door in our garden. He was sitting on a chair, bold as brass. My mum went out to him and I thought that she would tell him off.

"Hello Gorgeous," I heard her say. That wasn't exactly telling him off. She petted him and played with him. Now he thinks he's welcome. Not by me and Josie he isn't. Mum said to be nice to him while he's smaller than me as one day he'll be bigger.

Josie said the last time she was nice to a smaller cat look what happened!

"What?" I asked.

"You're still here," she said, pointedly.

"And I love you both," said my mum firmly, "and Jasper has a loving home all of his own so he won't be moving in."

 

We're perfect cats for mum

October 16th 2014 10:46 pm
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Josie and I have been being extra healthy so my mum knows that definitely no vet visit is required for either of us. That is indeed the one thing we forgot might happen when we set up the ghost cat paw prints.

The other was that my mum would get in trouble for swearing. She was telling people about bloody pawprints and someone didn't realise she meant actual blood.

My mum does not swear at us. She says "Arrgghh Cats!" sometimes and "I'm trading you in." I warn you she looks through the Catster Pages like they are a catalogue.

"He looks like a lovely cat. I bet he never pokes his mum in the face when she's sleeping. I wonder if they would like to swap." Or "She's very pretty. I expect she waits patiently for her mum to finish her breakfast before demanding tummy rubs."

It is a hard thing to wait when your tummy needs rubbing. Mum says no cat ever came to harm for lack of tummy rubs but I'm not sure that's a chance worth taking.

"Well - we'll know next week while I'm away," said my mum cheerfully.

Away? I don't remember agreeing to that.

Anyway mum needs Josie and me exactly how we are. We keep her laughing and that's good for her!

 

We had another mystery

October 15th 2014 10:44 pm
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Yesterday morning my mum got up really early. She even caught me and Josie out but we never mind having an early breakfast.

She took a bag and was gone until well past supper time. We had emptied all our bowls and were beginning to wonder if we were doomed to starve when she returned.

"I've been training at one of our other companies," she explained.

"Were you telling them how to say stuff?" She usually is.

"Pretty much." Told you so.

She filled our bowls and was sorting her training stuff out and moaning about how tired she was when...

"Toby! What is that?"

"What? Oh that. Just some pawprints."

"Is that blood?" She touched them. Dry. "It was this morning," I added.

"It is blood," she said. "You poor cat. What happened? Do you need the vet?"

"No." (Never!)

She watched Josie and me very carefully and checked our paws and we are absolutely fine. No-one needs the vet. So she cleaned up the pawprints but she checked us all over again this morning. We are still fine. Actually I am so fine I remembered that she got up at 4.30 yesterday morning and helpfully woke her at 4.30 this morning in case that is our new time. It isn't.

So the paw prints are another mystery. Mum could see the trail came in the kitchen, stopped for biscuits and then sat in the sitting room awhile, probably washing and that's it. We're purring , eating, playing - in our usual excellent health and spirits. So no vet for now. Mum says she'll keep an eye on us.

 

My new game

October 14th 2014 9:02 pm
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A water bowl can be a toy, right?

It was a rainy, play indoors night last night so I was. I was running and leaping and generally having a marvellous time. I was actually very impressive. I don't know why my mum kept laughing.

Every good athelete keeps hydrated so I stopped for a drink only I didn't stop fast enough. Bam! Water flew out of the bowl in shiny pools all over the rug.

I never saw water like that before so I pounced on some of them, then knocked some more out of the bowl because they were drying up.

"You'll be sorry when you've nothing left to drink," said my mum.

"You'll refill it," I said smugly and she couldn't answer that because we both know it's true.

I never saw the possibilities for entertainment in my water bowl before but I'm delighted to have that new game in my repetoire.

And yes, she did top it up. Something about not wanting Josie to suffer.

 

Cats' secrets

October 13th 2014 10:42 pm
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I really enjoyed yesterday. I don't mind rain as much as my mum and Josie do so I managed to get some hunting in - and when I come in wet I get lots of fuss and attention and get to leave paw prints and bits of damp leaves all over. I like leaving a visible trail - 'Toby Was Here!"

My mum was busy untangling all our fishing rod toys. We have need of them now winter is here. She always says we have too many and a couple of our least favoured end up being thrown out. Mum wants to know how we never seem to have any less though.

Then my mum was watching an alarming programme on TV. It was all about cats and promised to reveal all our secrets. Imagine our horror! Josie and I took up our positions at either end of the sofa ready to intervene should they start telling our best ones.

Like how we know exactly where to sit that is most inconvenient; how we are able to get our own way pretty much most of the time; what we really think of our humans. We have so many important secrets. They cannot know these things.

Luckily they just talked about our amazing senses. Yes - it is true, we can rotate our ears separately and hear very high squeaking; we have a sense of smell 100 times better than our humans; dusky light is clear us as day is to mum and we're just generally magnificent.

These are hardly secrets. I don't mind my mum knowing them. There are further episodes though. We shall remain alert.

 

We're being cosy indoors

October 12th 2014 11:08 pm
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One of the many important duties us cats carry out is that of alarm clock. We must make sure our humans don't over-sleep. Like my mum nearly did this morning.

A helpful tap on the nose and a polite good morning and she was awake.

"Morning Tobes," she said. "And morning Josie."

Josie was chasing car headlamps across the wall which would probably have woken my mum anyway.

"Up you get," I said helpfully, thinking of two empty bowls in the kitchen. I mean, thinking that my mum mustn't be late for work.

She grinned.

"No work for me today! I have some holiday to use up and the last two weeks have been so grim I decided to take today off. And what a good day I chose."

For it is raining. Not just a little bit, a whole lottle bit, and the forecast is that it will carry on all day. If ever a day said 'stay on your sofa with your cats' it's today.

We're going to have an awesome day. We'll play; we'll sleep; we'll snuggle. We love being all cosy together.

"I'm glad that you're not having Big Bag holiday this year. Like I'm glad that you were only joking about the sofa going," I said.

There was an awkward silence. Well, let's just enjoy today shall we?" she said, eventually.

 

Biscuits

October 9th 2014 10:11 pm
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I love the happy sound of biscuits being poured into my bowl so trotted along expectantly when I heard it.

But there was a problem. One sniff and I knew it.

"These aren't my outdoor and energetic amazing super biscuits," I said, rejecting the bowl.

"These are your normal brand," replied my mum. "Those other ones were just a sample to see if we liked them."

"And we did! We must buy more."

There was one of those silences I can never like.

"They are very expensive" said my mum, "and you've always been happy with those other ones before."

"But then I didn't know that outdoor and energetic amazing super biscuits existed," I pointed out, " Are you suggesting that Josie and I aren't worth it?"

"No, not at all.." started my mum and then stumbled as we both realised that is exactly what she is suggesting.

I stalked off, tail in the air, spurning those stupid normal biscuits. Hhmph!

Obviously once my mum was safely at work I tucked in. They do taste OK. My mum would never realise that I did eat them after all.

 

Our autumn hobbies

October 8th 2014 10:44 pm
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Claws in the rug; there's a tunnel here somewhere. I looked up at my mum.

"Come on - you know what I want!"

For autumn is definitely here. My happy, sunny, warm garden is now wet and cold and windy and not somewhere to spend much time so it's back to indoor games. Luckily I know plenty and one of my favourites is the Tunnel Game. My mum makes the rug into a tunnel and rolls balls down it and I chase them. Brilliant!

Mum sighed. "But I just finished playing the Table Game with Josie." That's a stupid game - mum puts things on the table and Josie bats them onto the floor. Josie finds that hilarious every time. She is weird.

"Then that makes it my turn," I pointed out and mum made me my tunnel and fetched the toy box for things to roll. I was already down there, squiggled into the woollen cocoon.

"Ready!" I called and down came a foam ball.

I didn't have my mum's full attention as she was also retrieving things that Josie had batted.

"How come I am Entertainment Officer?" she grumbled. "The whole point of having two of you is so you can amuse each other."

That's what we do in the day time. Evenings are for special mum attention. It's fun playing outdoors but I had forgotten some of the old games and am now looking forward to lots of cheery evenings enjoying those again.

 

It's my food

October 7th 2014 10:35 pm
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Most of mum's post is very dull and often makes her sigh. When Josie or I get post it's usually rather more fun. Sometimes we get sent samples of food to try and we do like that. The latest one was a voucher for a bag of cat food so special my mum could only redeem it at a special pet shop.

We normally get our food from the soup market along with mum's food.

Mum had the brand she needed but said she had no idea until she got there that there are quite so many varieties to buy - hairball, dental, slimming, shiny coat, kitten, senior, sensitive, indoor, neutered - on the shelf went. Tailored for every possible type of cat.

"Which did you choose?" I asked.

"Outdoor and energetic," said my mum.

"So Josie can't eat it," I said firmly. "She does go out but she's not very energetic when she gets there. This is my food. For me."

"There wasn't one that quite worked for both of you," said my mum, "and then I remembered Josie trying to fly and I thought this would be OK. There wasn't one for crazy cats. I would have bought that."

Anyway I can highly recommend outdoor and energetic biscuits. I even let Josie have some when I was done. They are big and crunchy and quite delicious.

My mum said she was sorry they don't come in little hearts and stars and shapes like the ones she normally buys but the flavour is more important to me.

 
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