Toby's Diary

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We are all very well

August 21st 2014 10:44 pm
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I cannot emphasise this enough - excellent health, shiny coats etc. No-one needs to go to the vet. No-one at all.

I mention this because our cat box has appeared suddenly. Mum is a bit sneaky. It appears a few days before vet so we don't know when the fatal moment will come and one of us will be scooped up and thrown in.

Mum says when she went to make the appointment there were two cats, sitting side by side in their carrier, good as gold. She wanted to ask their owners how they did that - she reckons we are like hydra, as soon as she pushes one paw in two more poke out the other side. She doesn't think she could get both of us in one box.

We think Catster is getting betterer as I had a comment on my diary this week which I haven't had in ages. I got all excited and wanted to add something but we couldn't and yesterday we couldn't login at all but I am patient and we'll all be so happy when it's back to the Catster we know and love!

(Mum wants to know exactly how I think I am patient as that isn't a quality she has noticed in me. Not patient with her obviously as she can be so slow but patient everywhere else!)

 

Who is the guilty one?

August 19th 2014 10:33 pm
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My mum wants to know which cat attacked her feet while she was asleep last night.

I would never grass up a fellow feline but if you think of a name that rhymes with posy you won't be far off.

Apparently the feet were sticking out of the bottom of the duvet and moving enticingly and when pounced on they pulled back sharply, disappearing under the duvet again, universal language for "Game on!"

Luckily for Josie - I mean the cat who shall remain nameless - it was dark and my mum doesn't see so well in the dark. There was a floundering hand, some muttering, but nothing a lively cat couldn't avoid and I think she's got away with it.

There was the usual "Why oh why do I have cats?" so I went over to give mum some purrs and love so she would remember. She said that was hard to sleep through too but why would anyone want to sleep when they could be snuggling with me?

 

I am NOT a mean cat

August 18th 2014 10:38 pm
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I don't care what mum says!

Yesterday I came in and Josie was asleep, asleep on my favourite pouffe if you please. So I went over, woke her up and asked her politely to move. She did.

Then I went and curled up on the sofa. I wasn't in a pouffe mood.

The way mum tells it I just walked up, bullied my poor sisfur, not because I wanted to sleep there but because I didn't want to see her happy. That is so unfair.

"I might have wanted to sleep there and Josie didn't know that so she's the mean one to take my place," I pointed out.

"You were out and she has as much right to sleep there as you do," said my mum. Wrongly.

But she did look a bit annoyed with me. Luckily I know how to handle that - big eyes, hesitant purr, paw on the arm, cute set to max.

Mum sighed and stroked me. "I don't know why I put up with you."

Relief. I am in her good books again. There's nothing I can't purr my way out of. And Josie's fine. Actually I'm off out and I'm letting her have the pouffe this morning just to show what a magnanimous cat I am.

 

I forgot something important

August 17th 2014 10:47 pm
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Mum was home most of the day on Saturday and I love that as she entertains us. We were in the garden with her and generally it was an excellent day. I was quite wored out by the evening.

She watched TV and I watched her, in case anything else fun was going to happen. My eyes wanted to go to sleep but I didn't want to which made my mum laugh.

All in all I was very ready for bed when mum set off for the bedroom. I curled up on my chair and was very soon deep in dreams.

But something woke me; something wasn't right. And I remembered what I had forgotten. Normally mum goes to bed and she reads our bedtime story and I sit next to her and have some strokes and love so we both go to sleep all warmedly inside. I had been so tired I had forgotten that important duty.

What a good thing I hadn't left it too late. Mum was also deeply asleep but I was sure she would appreciate the importance of the strokes. I knew she didn't like the whole big tap on the back thing but surely a gentle purr and a stroke on her cheek would be OK.

She woke up and I was so pleased I purred louder and paddy-pawed and she did smile and she remembered too that I had missed out and I got my strokes.

It's very important to let your mum know how much you love her every day.

And Josie has been celebrating her Gotcha Day - mostly by being completely crazy and chasing her own tail and mum laughed and said she's very glad she did Gotcha Josie.

 

Even better than I expected

August 14th 2014 10:16 pm
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I woke up in the night, looked around and, well, I just felt sort of bored. I trotted over to the window sill to see if anything interesting was happening in the street but no, the whole world was asleep.

I turned around and looked down on the bed. My mum was fast asleep and dreaming. Curled up on mum's back, also dreaming contentedly, was Josie. They looked so sweetly peaceful I wished I was them.

So I reached out a paw and gave mum a firm tap on her back.

Well. that worked so much better than I could have anticipated. Mum shot up, flinging Josie across the bed, and reached for the light. She was looking all round and was clearly quite freaked out.

Until she saw me.

"Toby!" was about all she could manage.

She didn't look in the mood for a nice chat so I decided it was time for a sharp exit so I slid gracefully down on to the floor and left the room.

This morning mum told me never, ever to do that again. Turns out my tap came in a particularly badly-timed part of her dream (or well-timed if you look at it from the point of view of fun generation for me ). With results like that, and watching Josie fly into the bargain, I can't possibly promise anything like that.

 

Mum made jam

August 13th 2014 10:51 pm
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Yesterday evening we were all out in the garden. We love being in the garden with my mum. We were helping her pick blackberries.

I remembered mum and I did that once before. "This is how I found out just how awesome I am," I recalled.

Mum looked at me.

"Berries are like cats. The black ones are sweet and lovely and you want them and red ones are sour and you leave them," I explained. Sure enough my mum had a bowl of the most luscious, and very much black, berries in her hand.

"When you see what I'm going to do to them you may not be so sure," replied my mum.

But I never did find out as mum always says cats and jam making don't mix. Sure enough today no berries but four shining jars of jam.

"Sauce or sliceable?" I enquired politely. Mum picked up one of the jars and tilted it. "Sauce," she answered, as the contents slid to one side.

When mum makes jam she mutters a lot about setting point, is it here now? Or now? Did she miss it?

I'm not even sure it exists as I don't think she's ever found it. She can either pour her jam like sauce or it has to be hacked out of the jar with a knife and leaves big holes in the bread. On balance sauce is probably better. Her continued failure doesn't dampen her enthusiasm which is peculier but just one of the many quirks we've learnt to live with.

talking of quirks - it's just struck me - She was so pleased with herself for bringing fruit in from the garden but when I bring a bird in, which is much harder, there's never any offer to cook it into something tasty for me and Josie to eat. So unfair!

 

Rebel Cat Josie

August 12th 2014 10:37 pm
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Mum came home yesterday, bent down and picked up a cushion off the floor when a thought struck her. She looked at Josie, "Why do I keep picking this cushion up off the floor?"

Josie shrugged. "Beats me, you should leave it where I push it."

"I want the cushion on the chair," said my mum, firmly.

"And I don't," said Josie, equally firmly. "It's in my way."

"Couldn't you sit on it?" asked my mum, "and leave it be."

Josie just sighed at this foolish suggestion. There's nothing wrong with the cushion as such. Josie's just taken against it.

"And while we're talking, " continued my mum, "What were you doing in the wardrobe last night?"

josie's eyes lit up at the memory. "Adventuring."

"Could you not adventure when I'm trying to sleep? All the rustles and creaks are hard to sleep through."

Josie buried her nose into her paws and went back to sleep. All that adventuring had worn her out.

"What happened? You used to be so good," said my mum. Mum looked at me and I put on my angelic face. I have actually been pretty good lately - barring my night-time excursion, a minor wall-paper related incident and the paw in mum's face while she was eating breakfast. I have no idea where Josie learnt to be mischevious from.

 

I got out at night. Hoorah!

August 11th 2014 10:39 pm
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Our door has a lock and meanie mum gives it a twist at night and we are all in for the night. She's pretty good at remembering but there's never any harm in giving the door a sly push to see what happens and last night - oh joy! oh Bliss! The thing opened.

I needed no further invitation. Out I slipped to enjoy the adventures and mysteries of the night. I roamed. I did wild cat things. It was awesome!

Until it started to rain. Hometime for me so I ran to the door but it would not budge. What have happened? I pawed at it, increasingly frantically. I was getting wet and suddenly night time adventures didn't seem so fun.

You can imagine my relief when I saw my mum appear in the kitchen - the sound of my paws had woken her.

"Toby?" she asked, for it was dark and when she had gone to sleep I was safely curled up on my chair, where I wished I was now.

She bent down to the door and twisted the lock again. I was in. Thank goodness - never so happy.

"How did you get out? And why couldn't you get in?" she asked.

Josie had joined us by now and our minds were on more important things. "Seeing as you're up and our bowls are empty..." I asked. I realised it wasn't strictly breakfast time but there's never any harm in asking and a nice snack would certainly help me overcome my ordeal

Mum can't decide if I have worked out a way to beat the system and open the door when locked or if she accidentally locked it twice, one twist for locked, two twists for out only.

She muttered something about a special eye on me. I am not to roam at night.

 

What happened to summer?

August 10th 2014 10:39 pm
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Saturday - normal happy sunny day. I did hunting and snoozing in a sun beam and all was as it should be.

Thde only bad bit was when my mum heard that little Jasper from next door was out and about in their garden. She pulled a chair over and was standing on it looking over the fence, talking to Paul and Victoria and watching Jasper. We know that because she kept saying "Oh - isn't he cute" and "see him jump". At one point Victoria brought him over so mum could stroke him which went down well.

Outrageous!

Josie and I wandered round beneath her chair in vain - we're cute and we jump and we like to be stroked (sometimes.) Just because he's small they think he's so amazing.

But on Sunday - whoosh! No-one was playing in their garden. It was like someone turned the tap in the rain clouds and down it came and the wind blew through the flat and made the curtains billow and things rustle and I'll be honest, Josie and I didn't like it, not one little bit. I kept telling my mum to make it stop - bring me back my summer.

Apparently it was the tail end of ex-hurricane Bertha. I never want to see a hurricane if this is what they are like.

 

Josie's quick thinking

August 7th 2014 10:43 pm
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Mum was watching TV and she chose a programme about dogs. Yes, I know!! Stoopy dogs!! And when the dogs do tricks and bravely dive into water and rescue people and wag their tails at their chance to help humanity mum tends to ask, "And what do you two do?"

Josie realised the danger so she quickly jumped up in front of the screen so mum could admire Josie's fur instead. After all, when you look this good you don't really have to 'do' anything.

Situation saved!!

 
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