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Toby's Diary

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Feeding other cats

May 29th 2016 10:22 pm
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On Saturday morning that Maurice from next door was in my garden so I went out to see what he wanted.

"Can you tell your mum I'm ready for my breakfast?" he said.

"Since when does my mum give you your breakfast?"

He counted carefully. "Since yesterday."

I knew something was up. I had smelled next door's cats on my mum's hands. Not only had she been feeding them, she had been petting them too. Such betrayal! What's worse - on Saturday she gave them lunch. She has always told us that cats don't get lunch.

If she thinks she does not get to feed and pet cats enough she could just feed and pet us double, all without leaving the comfort of her own home.

I think I must have made my point as after Saturday lunch she stopped. Good!


Mum's bath

May 26th 2016 10:39 pm
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My mum has been so busy at her new job and there's been so much going on outside her work that when she goes to bed her mind keeps going and she can't sleep. Did you ever hear of a cat being so foolish? Thought not! We are very much the superior species.

Anyway, last night she announced that she would have a lavender bath before bed. She put on her plinky plonk music and filled the bath with smelly stuff, got her book and in she got.

In the water.

Right there. In the water.

This alarmed me. If she drowned who would rub my tummy? I resolved to keep a very close eye on her and kept trotting in and meowing plaintively. Ar first she just chatted back but then she said, "You're getting annoying now. Whatever do you want?"

I am never annoying. She must have been thinking of Josie (who seemed to think my mum would be OK and didn't help at all.)

So any way after a while she got out, much to my relief.

"That wasn't quite the relaxing experience I was hoping for, thank to you," she said.

I knew just what would relax a person who had just been saved from drowning by the selfless attention of their cat, and ran ahead of her. I jumped up on the arm of the sofa.

Stroking cats is a very well known and safe way for people to relax. She needs to do more of that and less of the crazy bath stuff!


A nice surprise for my mum

May 25th 2016 10:40 pm
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"What is this doing in my bed?" she asked, "How the heck did it get here?"

She was holding up a kitty treat.

No cat ever since the beginning of cats and kitty treats complained about the presence of a light snacklet as they settled down to sleep. My mum seemed less impressed.

You try and do something nice and you don't get any appreciation at all. She's been a bit tired with the new job and we had imagined her skipping with delight at our thoughtfulness. Hm.


Traded for bread. For bread!!

May 24th 2016 10:34 pm
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There was a quiet but persistent knock on our front door. Frankly I wish everyone would knock like that rather than the big rat a tat tat they normally do. But it took my mum a while to realise someone was there.

She opened the door and there were our upstairs neighbours. It was one of the little girls who had been knocking. They had baked fresh rolls - would my mum like some?

Yes she would. But you could see that my mum wished she had some way to return the favour. Ah, she could - the children wished to see the cats.

Josie had already made a run for it (for once the wiser cat) so mum grabbed me. I squirmed and squiggled and generally made it very clear I did not wish to be petted. The children took one look at me and made it very clear they did not want to touch me. So my mum let me go.

I will never forgive her - willing to trade the opportunity to pet me for some bread. Bread. (Apparently it was delicious but that still doesn't make it right!)


Mighty hunters

May 22nd 2016 10:21 pm
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My mum went away at the weekend to stay with a cat which is called Leo. He is black like me, with white paws and patches and mum says he is about twice my size. A friendly boy who particularly appreciated mum's chin scratching technique.

He owns a person who is mum's friend. They were chatting when Leo entered the cat flap with a particular meow. Mum's friend sighed, "That noise - you always know when they have caught something." For he had brought in a bird.

My mum smiled and said that happily she does not know what noise Josie and I would make.

This suggests that Josie and I are not particularly good hunters. We most certainly are expert hunters, with me just that bit better than Josie. It's just that....just that...What's that Josie? Ah yes, exactly right. We don't bring our many prey indoors because we don't want our mum to feel bad about her own lack of hunting prowess.

So we are mighty and successful hunters and also very tactful!

Mum says to keep it that way. Apparently Leo often brings in rats and my mum says she would scream very very loudly if we did that. Might be fun to find out just how loud!


My very own room

May 19th 2016 10:09 pm
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Yesterday I was helping my mum clear some things out of what was the spare room.

"That bed was a real dumping ground," she commented. She was looking at stuff. "This big old suitcase will have to go. And I can store your box.."

I never heard the rest. When she picked up my box I was gone. But turns out no-one was going in the box.

I am really excited about getting my own room. I'll have a special bed near the window, my own snack table, all my favourite toys. It's going to be awesome.

My mum seems to think it's to be her home office but she's wrong. She gets the other rooms so it's only fair that I get a room for me.


Ikky Josie

May 18th 2016 10:33 pm
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I like a rainy evening, when I sit next to my mum, getting petted by her and we are all cosy and happy indoors. That's just how we were last night.

But then - Josie licked my head. She knows I don't like that. That tortie has no sense of what's hygienic!

Mum seemed to think it was a good thing. "Ah," she said, "You love your brother"

I opened my eyes and gave Josie the look and she pretended she was done and walked away. I should not have to put up with this.


A bet

May 17th 2016 10:28 pm
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Yesterday was a lovely sunny day. My mum was up bright and early. So she went into work early.

"I bet she comes home early," said Josie.

"I bet she doesn't," I said.

"Four Dreamies says she does," said Josie.


With such high stakes you can imagine how anxiously we were looking out for her at the window. And suddenly there she was. She had a big smile when she saw us.

I scampered down to talk to her.

"How are you early?"

"A beautiful thing called flexi-time," she said.

"So you left work at the right time, not early," I said and she agreed it was so.

The Dreamies were mine. Josie did some grumbling but she should know better than to bet with invincible Toby.


Not a good weekend

May 15th 2016 11:26 pm
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First of all someone stole our bed from outside so now no-one can sleep on it. And where will I go when my mum buys the wrong kitty litter?

Then on Saturday a man came. I sniffed his hands and could smell other cats. I didn't want him adding me to his collection so made good my escape. Josie stayed but hid under my mum's bed. She said that my mum showed him the mantel piece where Josie likes to sit and he took it off the wall. So now where was Josie to sit?

Anyway there was lots of noise and now we have a reinforced mantel piece that doesn't slope. The man said that unless mum gets a tiger it should be strong enough.

My mum has us; she does not need a tiger.

Then my mum went and fed the cats next door. She was worried as she hadn't seen Maurice but then she remembered. The boy loves the rattle of a biscuit box so she stood at the door, shaking the biscuits and calling. He appeared from behind her - he had been indoors all along, just hiding. Very wise!

Josie spent much of the weekend testing the reinforcements and they do work so she's pleased. I had to put up with an over-excited tortie leaping about. And mum mowed the lawn even though she knows I hate that.

I am glad she is back to work today and we'll have some peace and quiet!


One rule for us...

May 12th 2016 10:15 pm
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I thought we must be having a guest to stay as my mum started moving things out of the spare room last night. Then she surprised me by dragging the bed out. It wouldn't go through the front door so she dragged it all the way through the flat, out the back and round and now it's in the garden.

I see how it is. We have to sleep indoors at night no matter how hot it is but a guest can settle down and sleep outdoors. Hardly fair!

My mum is still enjoying her new job. She comes back very tired each day. She says she has a lot to learn. I knew that.

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