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Toby's Diary

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My mum is happy but I'm not!

November 8th 2016 9:50 am
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She has been exactly six months in her new job now and her manager has signed off mum's probation.

"I don't like to brag but the words outstanding and amazing were used," she said.

"As in, it is amazing you have so much work outstanding?" I asked and she gave me that look.

"What else could she have done?" I have an inquiring mind.

"Terminated my employment or extended my probation, giving me an action plan to improve."

Now my mum is pretty good at head scritches, Ok at opening food sachets but she really needs work at coming when summoned, anticipating my needs and paying attention to Josie when I need her.

So I'm going to extend her probation with me and give her an action plan to improve. Harsh but fair!

 

Our weekend

November 6th 2016 11:44 am
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My mum said she had a lot to do this weekend.

"That's right. I haven't been brushed in days; I am definitely owed some cuddles; Josie's water fountain needs a scrub.."

I would have carried on but she interrupted. Apparently it's not all about me. I did mention Josie. Not entirely selfish!

Anyway of all those things my mum did scrub the fountain and change the filter but I remain unbrushed and hardly petted.

She did some things on her computer. I tried to help, I really did. I don't like to brag but I can type with all four paws at once. Mum says I lose something which is called 'accuracy' but that doesn't sound very important.

My mum also took our photo for our Christmas cards.

"You looked great Toby but Josie moved away."

This is not a problem!!

 

Mousie in mum's office

October 24th 2016 11:08 pm
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She was telling us all about him. She works in a very large open plan office and she said you could tell where the mouse was by the people jumping up, squealing and pointing.

I could imagine the scene, everyone hoping that they would be the one to catch it.

"It wasn't exactly like that," said my mum.

"I wish I had been there," I said.

"I would have preferred Josie," said my mum, "as the proven mouse killer of the two of you."

It is true, Josie broke and ate my mouse when I brought one in. Josie looked a bit alarmed at this. She doesn't like to travel and didn't like the sound of a large open plan office and lots of squealing people.

But my mum said she wouldn't take her.

"Did you catch it?" I asked.

"No-one caught it. As far as I know it's still there," said my mum.

It's kind of her employers to lay on entertainment like that!

 

Sandy Claws must be coming soon

October 23rd 2016 10:09 pm
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There are two clues. One is that my mum must have decided on our Christmas card as she keeps lingering with her camera.

"I just want one of the two of you sitting side by side," she pleads but where would the fun be in doing what she wants?!

Then she had an e-mail from the pet shop with Christmas present ideas for us. I picked out what I want. Basically anything turkey flavoured, yes please. Any sort of clothing, Santa hat etc., no way!! We have beautiful coats all our own.

I have been very good all year of course but mum says maybe I need to make an extra effort in case Sandy Claws is making his list right now. I'm not sure how I can be more goodly than perfection.

(Mum says not stealing Josie's food would be a start but I don't steal - we share and sharing is good.)

 

Dreaming

October 22nd 2016 12:31 am
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My mum was reading the paper. "Ah," she said, "That's so cute. Apparently dogs dream of their owner's faces."

There was a pause and you could see the cogs turning.

"Do I feature in your dreams?"

Josie purred and gave my mum a head rub. Soppy cat.

I dream about fighting dragons and saving the planet from werewolves.

"Do you dream about us?" I asked my mum.

She thought too long. "It's not a hard question," I pointed out.

"I was trying to remember," she said. It shouldn't be too hard.

"Probably. At night anyway. I think about you both a lot in the day."

Hm. That was probably a satisfactory answer.

 

My mum went away

October 20th 2016 10:58 pm
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She had to really. She had a bad cold and every time she sneezed Josie nearly jumped out of her fur.

I had a stern conversation with Josie before my mum came back. "What is it that you must remember?"

"Be cool."

That's right. My mum must be punished for abandoning us.

Was Josie cool? No. Josie never quite grasped that concept. She ran all over everywhere and has been on mum's lap whenever possible since my mum returned.

 

Josie was tired

October 9th 2016 10:26 pm
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On Saturday my mum was being busy and I was helping and Josie was sleeping. She nestled herself under the throw and you wouldn't know she was alive except every now and then we would see the throw move.

When my mum settled on the sofa for the evening Josie emerged from her cocoon, had a really good stretch, then joined my mum, curling up on her tray.

"You must be really exhausted after all that sleeping," said my mum. Josie agreed that she was and snuggling her head into her paws, settled down for a few more hours.

Anyway all that sleep certainly paid off. Josie was in full blown Tigger mode on Sunday morning, bouncing here, there and every where. She looked like she was having such fun I joined in. We all went in the kitchen and asked to go outside and my mum said, "No breakfast?" but all we wanted to do was run so we did. Sometimes I like having a sisfur!

 

Indoor Games

October 5th 2016 10:21 pm
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Now it is a bit colder outside we expect our mum to step up and entertain us indoors.

I was clawing at the rug until she made it into a tunnel for me to chase balls down. That's a top game. Then Josie made up a new one where my mum threw bits of scrumpled paper on our cube and Josie knocked them off. It looked like fun but I wasn't going to play because it was Josie's idea.

So I ran to and fro until my mum got the idea and got my laser pointer out.

You feel sad because summer is gone and then you remember how much fun autumn can be!! Plus we're coming up to international Toby appreciation day. I start seeing pictures of me everywhere. They don't remember my white patch, it's just black cats on things, but I am grateful that they try.

 

More signs of autumn

October 3rd 2016 9:48 pm
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I heard a conversation that I last heard some months ago. My mum came in the room and looked at Josie.

"Josie - was someone else sitting where you are now?"

Josie considered this. No, she was pretty sure the seat was empty when she took it.

"And just seconds before?"

Josie snuggled a little deeper into the cushion in the manner of a cat who has been there a while. No, she definitely had not stolen anyone's seat.

My mum took her cup of tea and sat at the other end of the sofa, casting resentful glances at Josie as she went. They would have been even more resentful if she had seen just how swiftly Josie had moved into the vacated position muttering, "Yes! Warm spot!!" as she settled into it.

No cat likes to be cold but Josie takes this dislike to an extreme.

 

I've been thinking about words

October 2nd 2016 9:44 pm
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On Saturday morning it was raining so my mum went off on a historical walking tour of London. That's outside in the rain when she has a perfectly good home to be in, all dry. I will never understand her.

Anyway it ended up at Hodge's house. I never met Hodge as he lived a very long time ago but he was a fine cat, a very fine cat indeed. We know this because his dad said so. That was a man called Samuel Johnson who wrote a book called a dictionary.

My mum loves a dictionary or any books about words. Now if cats had a dictionary it would be much shorter. With us it's all in the tone. 'Meow' can mean my bowl is empty or I require the door to be opened or to scritch my head now depending how I say it.

"Basically all instructions for me," commented my mum.

"Yes." If she did her job properly I wouldn't have to talk at all.

"I expect you would though," said my mum.

I expect I would indeed. Everyone is entitled to my opinion. But it won't happen as sadly, despite my excellent use of tone and clear enunciation' my mum persists in misunderstanding me.

 
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