Toby's Diary

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Some mornings..

September 24th 2015 10:28 pm
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you just have to get going!!

My mum got up and I was straight to my door. I looked at her anxiously.

"Open it."

"No breakfast?" she asked.

"No breakfast," I confirmed. "The world needs me."

My mum unlocked the door and I was gone. Moments later I heard the door open. There was a long silence then I heard my mum say, "In or out, Josie? You have to decide." Then the kerflump of tortie coming out to join me. She's such a copycat!

Anyway I saw off the troop of heffalumps that were threatening the neighbourhood and then went back in for a well-deserved breakfast.

Mum said she will never understand cats. It is no doubt tough for her puny human mind to cope with our general awesomeness.


My mum is wrong

September 22nd 2015 10:23 pm
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Tuesday night is her quiet night in but last night she was being selfish. she was cooking her supper instead of sitting down to pet me. I let her know - most vociferously - what I thought of that decision.

She looked down at me. "No-one likes a whinging cat."

She is wrong. Everyone likes me. At all times. Besides it was entirely her fault I was forced to complain. And so I told her.

Eventually, after about one hundred years, her supper was ready and she sat down and I presented my back for its stroking session.

"I am trying to eat," she said. But eating mostly only takes one hand leaving one for the more important task of keeping me happy and so I told her.

So she did start with the petting and I started with the purring. See how easy I am to please!

"Sometimes I don't know why I love you." she muttered.

She loves me because I am awesome. That is why.


Josie is fine actually

September 21st 2015 10:25 pm
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My mum's been keeping a special eye on Josie since the vet said she is stressed. It's quite sickening as she keeps petting her and asking if she is OK.

We were playing tag last night and my mum saw me chase Josie in the room.

"Is he stressing you?" she asked.

Then Josie jumped up on the table, turned around and pounced down on me and I was the one running away.

"No, evidently not," said my mum, laughing.

It was one of those bumper games of tag that carried on after my mum went to her dance class. A lamp got so excited watching us that it jumped off the mantelpiece and tried to join in. That is my story and I'm sticking to it!


Summer came back

September 20th 2015 10:32 pm
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That was one wet winter - I'm very glad it's over.

Oh - mum says we haven't had winter yet. We just got a sunny autumn weekend. It was lovely - the sun beamed down all day and it was gorgeously warm and I spent nearly every minute outdoors making the most of it.

Another cat who was making the most of it was young Jasper who came round, guessing correctly that my mum would have our doors open. But mum wouldn't let him in. She thinks maybe he has been stressing Josie.

He looked at her sadly and rolled on the grass. "I wouldn't stress anybody," he said. "I'm too cute for that. Everyone says so."

Mum agreed he is cute and gave him lots of strokes but she is worried about Josie (not, I note, about me) so he stayed out.

And my mum found out that the girl upstairs has been evicted although she doesn't know why. Maybe other people had complained about all the noise. So now we have to wait and see who moves in. We are hoping for a cat lover. Mum is just hoping for someone quiet.


What happened?

September 17th 2015 10:34 pm
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That was what my mum wanted to know when she came home last night.

So I told her.

"Firstly I defended the flat from a fire-breathing dragon with enormous eyes, scales like polished silver and a tail that could knock down a tree. Then I had my nap."

"Are you sure the whole dragon thing wasn't during the nap?" she asked, somewhat cynically.

"No," I said firmly. "Then I had a snack before my snooze and.."

She interrupted.

"This is all very interesting of course but did you notice anything happening upstairs?"

"I was telling you about my snooze," I said.

"Toby - it looks like everything the girl upstairs possesses is out on the drive. Did you see who put it there? Has she gone? Is she in trouble of some sort? I just want to know she's OK."

Self, self, self! "After my snooze I had ..."

But my mum was gone. How rude!

Unless they were bringing large amounts of chicken and catnip down I don't know why she thinks we would be interested in people moving things around.

She is going to phone the agency today and find out if they know and if they don't if they can send someone round with keys to check. It was all quiet up there last night and she doesn't answer the door to my mum since the last lot of noisy nights.


Unbelievable rain. I didn't beleive it!

September 16th 2015 10:42 pm
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My mum came home yesterday, shaking off wet things, muttering about the rain. She gave us our supper and then I wanted to go out.

"I don't think you do," she said, holding my door open for me.

"I do," I replied and out I sprang.

Paws and whiskers!! I never saw rain like it. Back in quick smart.

Mum stroked my soggy fur to dry me off. "I did try and warn you," she said.

Then I thought about it. Surely it couldn't have been as wet as I thought it was. No rain could be.

Back to my door.

"Really?" asked my mum, bending to open it for me once more.

"That's what I want to find out," I replied, jumping through.

It was. Really. Really really wet.

Back in. Dried off.

Was it really as bad as I remembered. Surely not. Back to the door.

It did take quite a few checks before I believed it. My mum stopped opening the door for me which was a bit selfish. She says she believed in the rain all along but some things you just need to see for yourself.



September 15th 2015 10:16 pm
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Well - it all felt normal last night. My mum came home and I had my supper and out I went. I suspected nothing.

When I came back from the hunting grounds I detected an aroma, a particularly delicious aroma. What was it? Ah hah! I found a morsel of chicken in my bowl and gobbled it down. I looked up at my sisfur. Glad Josie didn't see that.

Then the penny dropped and I realised the awful truth. My mum gave Josie chicken while I was out.

Her excuses were feeble. She's worried about Josie's weight and stress levels.

I only had one question.

"Is there any left?"

There was so I have forgiven them both. I love chicken! Maybe it's lack of chicken that's made Josie stressed.



September 14th 2015 10:29 pm
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When my mum comes home from work her first - nay, her only - priority is my supper. Last night in she came like normal and all was fine until the phone rang.

Surely her poor cats empty tummies matter more than her phone.

Apparently not.

It was her sister. Another nephew started college so mum was all, "How is he settling in?" and "Are any of his friends there?" while she attempted, one handed, to feed us.

Choosing a sachet with one hand. Fine. Getting out bowls with one hand. Fine. Opening a sachet with one hand. Not fine.

She was sort of leaning on the kitchen counter and sort of tearing at it and I was gong frantic. How many cats have starved to death while their peoples tried to do too many things at once? One can only sigh

Eventually we got our supper and eventually she stopped talking (and nephew is doing fine.) But they need to invent sachets that cats can open for themselves for these emergencies.


Josie went to the vet

September 13th 2015 10:17 pm
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On Saturday. They were gone ages. When they came back my mum said, "Josie is stressed."

Talk about stating the obvious. "You took her to the vet," I pointed out. "I bet there were dogs and they put the thermometer where no thermometer should be. Of course she's stressed."

But turns out Josie has lost weight and has been over-grooming her tummy and taken all the fur off. The vet wanted to know if we have a new member of the family or have moved or if there has been some other change stressing her but all is pretty normal here.

"How do I relax a cat?" pondered my mum. "I've been pretty stressed lately so maybe we both need to relax together."

"Did the vet suggest anything?" I asked.

"He said maybe to separate the two of you," said my mum.

"We'll miss poor Josie of course but if it's for her health..." I said, conjuring up a picture of me and my mum and with me getting all that lovely attention.

"You both like to be close to me I don't think separating you is feasible. Plus if it was you stressing her that would surely have been when you first arrived, not three years later."

For now at least whatever Josie wants she is getting and she seems to be enjoying that. How we'll know when she is relaxed enough I don't know.


Tired mum

September 10th 2015 10:04 pm
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Last night my mum came home, slumped down on the sofa and said, "I am sooo tired!"

Luckily us cats are excellent companions for tired people. I let mum rub my fuzzy belly as I'm sure that's good for her.

She was explaining that her team member has moved to a new role and until the new one starts she is doing both jobs. "I'm in the classroom training new hire and I'm not really sure what I'm talking about," she said. That sounds about right.

One of the people she is training has toygers. I never heard of them so my mum looked them up to show me. Very stripey cats. Pretty cool actually. "Maybe she would like to trade Josie for one," I suggested but my mum remains fond of Josie so I don't think we'll be getting one.

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