Toby's Diary

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My mum went on holiday

July 19th 2015 10:34 pm
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I want a holiday.

"You have to do some work to have a holiday from," she said.

Sighs! No-one appreciates what I do.

I did brief Josie carefully. "When mum comes back and says she missed us, which she surely will, you have to look bemused and say, had she been away? we hadn't noticed."

We did practice but it was rather undermined by Josie being at the window when my mum came home, scanning the pavement for that one special face. She keeps sitting near my mum and purring. Josie doesn't do cool.

Paul from next door came to feed us while my mum was away. I was very careful and quick-smart out of our magic door whenever he came round. What if he wanted to catnap me? I would not like to live with Leo and Jasper. It's bad enough they come in my garden.

Mum says he will not catnap ether me or Josie but I say better safe than sorry.

Anyway my mum came home on Friday and this morning I officially forgave her for going away and gave her some snuggles which she liked.


What's that?

July 9th 2015 10:23 pm
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What with me being out and about and my mum being out and about I have neglected her a bit so yesterday evening I gave her some head rubs.

Well, that's how it started. She started scratching my head - she knows just exactly the spot - and then got my brush. Oh the bliss, as my fur got sleeker and she was talking to me and telling me how handsome I am (I do know but it never hurts to hear!) and I was purring and purring and all in ecstasy.

Then I happened to move my head and look down at the sofa.

"Ugh!! What's that?" I asked, tapping the dark patches with my paw.

"You've been dribbling," said my mum.

I swallowed hard, twice. Unfortunately it is true that when I get blissed out I forget the swallowing.

"I expect you'll clean it up and Josie will never know," I said.

"I expect I will," agreed my mum. Josie never dribbles.


No new toys for Josie

July 8th 2015 10:15 pm
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I walked in to find multi-coloured feathers all over my mum's bed. I thought I was pretty clever catching a small bird this week but it looked horribly like Josie had caught a parrot.

I looked around but couldn't see it anywhere. My mum started picking up the feathers.

"It's Josie's new feather stick," she explained. "It was very cheap but I'm finding out why."

"And that," I exclaimed, "is why you shouldn't bother buying Josie new toys. She just wrecks them."

Josie loves her feather sticks but give me a fishing rod any day.

In other news my mum has signed up to join her company workplace choir. We have heard her sing. This will not end happily.


My weird sisfur

July 7th 2015 10:35 pm
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She's not getting any more normal. It's a worry!

Yesterday was bright and sunny in the evening but there was something of a wind up. The problem with a brisk breeze and Josie is that some of it seems to get inside her head and she runs round like a crazy thing.

She was doing that yesterday and stopped for a quick scratch. Then leapt sideways when something caught her eye. Somethings! Lots of small things floating through the air. She started attacking them, trying to grab as many with her paw as she could before they hit the ground.

My mum was laughing. "That's your own fur, you crazy poppet."

Fancy not recognising the many hairs you dislodge when having a good scratch this time of year.

Anyone want to trade for a normal sisfur? (Oh - mum says I can't on account of she loves Josie.)


And finally I did it!

July 6th 2015 10:37 pm
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It's been so long I was beginning to wonder if I should take up another hobby. But yesterday I brought home one bird. I left him by the fridge so my mum could put him by if she didn't want to eat him right away.

My only regret is that I was out when my mum came home and saw him. Josie was home and reported much squealing in great excitement and a sort of dance, singing, "Ono! Ono! Ono!" She must have been pleased anyway because there was no sign of him when I did get back.

Mum said not to bring any more in but I want to see her face and the weird dance thing that Josie described. She said that there was some skipping back and arm waving and it's a shame to miss that sort of thing.

It's gone a bit cooler here. You can tell because Josie is back sleeping perched on my mum. It was too hot even for Josie last week.


Sharing is not as good as my mum says

July 5th 2015 10:27 pm
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On Friday evening my friend Alison came to see me and brought me Dreamies. She is one of my favourite peoples!

She sat with my mum in the garden and they talked, much about cats. At some point mum mentioned our biscuits tower that we got for Christmas. Alison hadn't seen it so my mum fetched it out for her.

I helpfully demonstrated how you poke a paw in the side to dislodge a munchie and down it falls and you get to eat it.

Then a little later my mum said, "Oh look - there's Jasper from next door."

They were unnecessarily admiring of him as he trotted over to say hello. It did not take that cat long to register the enticing aroma of kitty biscuits and he had a good sniff then paw in, a smooth sweep - several fell down and he got stuck in snaffling them up.

"It took Toby and Josie weeks to get the hang of it," said my mum. "He's worked out an excellent technique right away. He is a clever cat."

So not only was he stealing our biscuits, he was getting admired for his method of doing so. My mum says it is good to share but I'm not convinced. I was glad when he went home.


A lovely surprise

July 2nd 2015 10:40 pm
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My mum picked up the post yesterday and said, "Ooooh! A package. Maybe a late birthday present." Then she looked at it and said, "Oh - it's for you two."

Letters for us can be bad as they are usually vet check ups but parcels for us are without exception good news.

"Open it then," I said.

So my mum did.

"You know that brand of kitty food you don't like?" she said.

Eight out of ten cats might but Josie and I are the two that don't.

"Yes," I said.

"They've re-done the recipe and have sent you a couple of sachets to see what you think. Would you like to try one for supper?"

So we did. And yes, we find the new recipe most acceptable.

"Now you have to buy more," I told my mum.

"It's more expensive than the brand you normally eat." she replied.

I drew myself up to my full height. "Nothing is too good for us felines. Besides I see a coupon in your hand that they sent."

So hopefully we'll be enjoying that again.



July 1st 2015 10:31 pm
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Yesterday was the hottest day so far this year.

My mum asked me if I would like ice in my water bowl.

"Lumpy water?"

"Yes," she said, "A friend at work said she puts ice in her cats' bowl and I wondered if I should do the same."

"You like ice in your drinks in the summer," I commented.

"Yes, I do."

"And what do we do with your ice?"

"Fish it out with your paws," mum remembered. Which is why she doesn't usually have it.

"Then yes please ice!" I enjoy the fishing.

"Actually no ice," said my mum. "I want you to have a cool drink. I don't want a soggy carpet."

She is so mean. And not very bright as her next sentence highlighted.

"Now remember, stay in the shade, come in if you get too hot, drink plenty of water..."

We are cats and perfectly capable of knowing what to do in the sunshine!! It's peoples that do silly stuff.


Our new curtains

June 30th 2015 10:36 pm
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I don't like them. That is I have nothing against them when they just hang there but my mum insists on pulling them across the windows when she goes to work. Something about keeping the flat cooler. How is a boy to sunbathe?

Luckily with some determined paw action and a little focus I can get them pulled back around my bed so I get toasted. Mum says please not to - that's not why she has them. But when did I ever listen to her?

The other crazy thing is that we're not sleeping outside at night. It would be much nicer but mum will have none of it. Peoples are very odd!!



June 29th 2015 10:31 pm
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One of my mum's favourite things at her work is Induction. She gets to meet all the new people who start and find out all about them. She did one yesterday and one of her first questions is always whether the person has pets. She said the lady yesterday said she has two pets.

"I bet they're cats," I said. They are often cats.

"No," said my mum, "She has a budgie and a frog. That's unusual."

"That is an incredible coincidence," I replied. "That is exactly what we have. Josie has a budgiegar with brightly coloured feathers and they fly and leap around together all happy and I have a pet frog called Bobby and I pat him with my paw and he bounces and we're all happy."

Mum looked at me blankly. "No you don't"

"No," I agreed bitterly, "No we do not. And why do we not, many would wonder. It's because every time we bring pets in you let them go. That's why."

"You're the pets," said my mum. "You don't get to have pets."

Life is so very unfair!!

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