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Silly Avail You Don't Have Opposable Thumbs

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May 22nd 2014 7:26 pm
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I know I haven't had an entry in a very long time. I've been so very busy chasing mice and eating catnip. I heard some very sad news today. My sweet friend Sugar is going to be the newest resident here. I will be sure to welcome her with lots of purrs and some tasty treats. I know how much it's going to hurt her to be without her hoomans, but I just have to remember to tell her that she will see them again. I will be purring loudly so that you may be guided to me. Safe journey my dear friend.



October 31st 2013 8:34 pm
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When will I ever stop thinking of the last horrific day of Avail's life? I replay it through my head so much and it tears my heart into a million pieces each time. I don't know if I will ever stop feeling guilty.


Forever Loved

October 21st 2013 10:21 am
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I miss Avail every single day that she's gone. Yes, we have little monster/sister Liava, but it's not the same. I'm more than happy to give a kitten a new life, a great life, and a happy life. I just wish that Avail never had to leave, especially not in the way that she did. I'm not sure how many times over my heart can break when I think of how I wish everything happened differently. Avail was my soul mate, she really was. Ever since the first time we laid eyes on each other, we followed the other one everywhere. I miss her talking to me when it's food time. I miss waking up to her sleeping on my head. I miss her giving me love bites. I miss her kitty loafing all around the house. I miss the sound of a motorboat in my face when I'm trying to fall asleep. I miss her. I know there is a reason that Liava was there at the hospital where we lost Avail. There is a reason for everything.


Love Is Forever

October 2nd 2013 8:24 pm
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I miss you so much my sweet girl. Not a moment goes by where my heart doesn't ache and yearn for you. You are my soulkitty and nothing will ever change that. We were meant to be together and we will be together again one day. Until then, know how much mommy loves you with all of her heart. I love you so much my sweet baby Avail.


September 28th 2013 12:04 pm
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I am loved and missed so so so much. Mommy still has yet to go a day without crying because she misses me.

My little sister Liava is doing a good job at keeping her distracted, but when she simmers down, it gives mommy time to reflect on her life with me.

I'm having a great time up here with my brofurs Chuck and Opie. I missed them a lot. They've been showing me all of the fun things that there are to do when you're no longer sick.

Don't worry mommy, daddy, and McCow; I'm doing really good now. We will see each other again some day.


We Have A New Member Of The Family

September 27th 2013 2:28 pm
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Please go meet my new sister, Liava, that was sent by destiny to my mommy, daddy, and brofur. Mommy and daddy rescued her from the Centre where they had to say goodbye to me.

I know it was fate for her to be there when I was. I know she will bring much happiness into my mommy, daddy, and brofur's life.

Life has come full circle.


Saying Goodbye To My Sweet Baby Girl

September 26th 2013 10:00 am
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I haven't updated as it's been one of the hardest weeks of my life, so I apologize to all of our friends out there both four-legged and two-legged. I wanted to let everyone know what happened to Avail last week.

We took her in Monday for what was supposed to be and ended up being her last surgery for feline mammary cancer. We came to pick her up and while she seemed drowsy, she was alert, just exhausted. As the evening progressed we saw that she was struggling to get up and so I immediately took off the Fentanyl patch, as that was the only new factor of this surgery. Well, by morning it looked like she was feeling somewhat better. She woke up and went to the bathroom with the help of her daddy because she was all bundled up in a onesie to cover her drainage tube. Afterward, she walked out into the living room but then she just collapsed. She began to pant and we immediately went to the vet. We called her oncologist and got permission to pick up the medicine to counterattack the Fentanyl. It's actually really rare for cats to have an adverse reaction to it, but considering Avail was one of a kind, maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised.

She started to look like she was getting better by noon and was showing more awareness and her body temperature was going up. It had gone down some time in the morning, probably when she collapsed. Her heart rate was strong but she was still panting.

Around 2p she started crashing hard. We had to rush her over to the emergency vet and she had to be resuscitated once. Her heart never stopped, but her breathing did. My husband and I cried not knowing what to do as we don't have the money to pay for any of what was going on. We had just spent what little we had on the surgery.

We had to give her a chance, her body temperature was going up to normal, her blood pressure was going back up, she was breathing on her own without the aid of an oxygen machine, she was aware... when I saw her she looked exhausted but she was looking at me. I pet her on the head and kept telling her, "It's okay baby girl, it's okay. Mommy loves you so much." It broke my heart to see her react to me and try to stand up. I know how much she wanted to live, love, and stay with us. She was getting her chance.

She had to be monitored constantly in hopes of progress. My husband and I hadn't slept in 2 days and needed to take a nap. We called every hour for a couple of hours hoping for improvement. There was nothing. She was all of a sudden in some sort of vegetative state. They tried to find out what was wrong and found out that there was internal bleeding. Not only could they not find the location from where the bleeding was coming from but it had been going into her brain.

They told us that she was probably brain damaged and blind. My heart broke. It's still breaking. We knew what we had to do. We tried so hard to save, so hard, so did the doctors. We did everything we could but Avail would not be making it out of this.

We gave her pets, especially chin scratches which were her favorite. It looked like she could see us. Maybe she could. I'd like to believe that she knew we were there and that we were going to make all of the suffering and pain stop. We've always done that right? Mike held her in his arms and I stroked her head and gave her so many kisses. I kept whispering, "It's okay baby, it's okay. Mommy and daddy are here. We love you so much. We love you. Don't be scared. It's okay. We'll see you again someday. We love you baby." I watched her eyes as the life faded from them and her breathing stopped. Avail was gone. After everything she's gone through in this life, she was truly gone.

And throughout everything...her heart remained strong. She was a miracle.

This has been extremely hard for me to write as I have to relive the memory when I do it. I'm crying while typing this over her battle, her last day of suffering, the amazing people that helped support us through her fight...everything.

If it weren't for contributions from friends like you all, then we never would have had the year and a half we had with Avail. She wasn't supposed to make it beyond last year, but she did. She did. I can't thank everyone enough for the wonderful memories that we were allowed to make with sweet Avail.

Avail was my soul mate and my heart aches every moment that she is gone. Words can never come close to explaining the feeling of emptiness without her.

Any donations that were made in the last week of Avail's life went towards her ER bills and having her cremated and brought home where she belongs. She now shares a spot on my bookshelf (my books are what I treasure most in this world other than my family and furbabies, who are family too...I guess that was redundant) with her brothers Opie and Charlie. Wherever she is, I know she is free of pain. That's all I ever wanted for her. To live a happy and pain-free life. That's what everything was was for her.

I love you more than anything my sweet Avail and I will one day see you again. I will never stop missing you.


Avail Makes Her Journey To The Rainbow Bridge

September 17th 2013 9:20 pm
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We lost her. I can't update right now with more. We tried. We really did. 4000$ in emergency procedures to save her. We couldn't. She's gone. My heart is shattered.


Update On Avail

September 17th 2013 2:14 pm
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Avail is in emergency care. She had to be resucitated once earlier today. Since switching her to them, her temperature has already gone up almost 4 degrees and she's breathing on her own. Her heart is strong and her lungs are clear. They gave her buprinex to help with pain because her surgery. We removed the fentanyl patch last night because of how she was acting and I think that is what caused her to crash.

The cost will be over 3000$ and we had to use care credit as we've already spent everytjing on her previous surgeries. Please, please, please...if you can help, we would be grateful. Avail is our child and we're doing everything we can to not lose her.

She's been beating the odds for the past year and a half and we truly believe she will beat this too. Have faith.



Avail Collapsed

September 17th 2013 7:08 am
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We're at the vet. I will update when I know more. I think she had a reaction to the Fentanyl.

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~Avail~ 02/14/00 - 09/17/13


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