My Cats' Irresistibly Cute Bellies Are Danger Zones for Us All

My three cats don't have much patience for belly rubs, but still I try -- oh, how I try.

Every part of a kitty’s body is ridiculously adorable, but the belly is in its own category. The expansive fuzziness beckons us like a siren’s song, but we humans have to be real risk takers to enter the belly zone. 

Cats are individuals, and each one has her own preferences for where she’d like to be petted and what spots are hands-off. My three cats have similar preferences, with a few slight differences. They all love ear rubs and under-chin scratches. The three of them enjoy the petting move from the top of the head to the tip of the tail. Phoebe’s not a huge fan of having her feet touched, but Cosmo and Saffy don’t seem to mind. Personally, I’m fond of a nice foot rub. 

I’m goin’ in.

Now, the belly is almost always off-limits with Cosmo, Saffy and Phoebe — that’s not to say I don’t try and sometimes emerge unscathed. I can’t help but feel jealousy when someone spouts off about how his kitty welcomes lengthy belly rubs. This, my friends, is unjust.

Cosmo’s tuxie-fuzz is always a pleasure to pet, and his belly is especially funny because he looks like he’s wearing white underwear. I call them his “man panties.” When the fur lays a certain way, the man panties can also look like wings, a heart, or a giant mustache — each shape equally entertaining.

Sun-kissed belly!

When Cosmo’s asleep, I can usually move in for a belly rub — or even better — a nice, long huff. I know my time is limited, so I have to use it wisely. Belly rubs must be gentle, and I have to refrain from any loud huffing sounds while I inhale. Friends, it’s not an easy task. I have to say it — it’s an art.

Flashing the man panties!

Saffy’s belly has this fantastic creamy-looking center. She looks like a big kitty-shaped eclair. The thing about Saff is she’s a total tease. She loves to roll over and lie on her back, exposing that glorious middle, but then gets all Wild Kingdom if anyone tries to go after her tummy. She also has strong back legs, resulting in uncomfortable rabbit-kicks. Sometimes to the face.

An friendly invitation or a trap?

When Saffy’s crashed, I do sometimes lay my head on her pillow-belly. If I’m lucky, this lasts for about 10 seconds. Still, it’s totally worth it. She’s partial to my husband, though, and does allow him VIP belly-access. I don’t think this is fair, but that’s how it goes in the world of cat belly.

Who could resist that creamy filling?

Although Cosmo’s man panties and Saffy’s cream filling are to die for, Phoebe’s bunny-soft fur is pure luxury. She’s a calico-tabby mix, so her belly looks like patchwork with a white center. It’s a happy day when I manage to place a hand on that little tummy. The whole thing is a cruel joke: The cat with the most delicious fur is the one who is most likely to bite my hand off if I attempt belly contact. 

Even when she’s sleeping, her belly is on alert. It’s like she has laser alarms set up around her mid-area. I occasionally have an opportunity to go in for a rub or huff, but I know I’ll emerge with a scratch or at least a growly warning. I wish the photo of Phoebe’s tummy was interactive so you could reach through your screen and feel it. You’d never be the same again. 

Bunny belly!

Does your kitty enjoy belly rubs? Tell us about it in the comments! 

Read more by Angie Bailey:

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. 

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