Lifestyle

Drunk Cats Are Slouching All Over Social Media

By Phillip Mlynar

, November 11, 2015

Let’s start this one with a responsible disclaimer: Yes, I know that it is really bad to serve your cat alcohol and you should not really be out there pushing even the fanciest of cocktails on your feline.

But that does not mean that cats cannot slouch around and pretend to be drunk, does it?

Of course not — and there’s a riotous Instagram account dedicated to those tipsy kitties who give off the impression that they’re champion imbibers. Here are your drunk cats.

Patience has never been a virtue

https://instagram.com/p/65hSoqTLvH/?taken-by=drunk_cats

This fancy-looking beer cat simply cannot wait to get started on today’s session. Trust me, he’ll be bathing in pilsner by the time the afternoon’s out.

Youthful hijinks

https://instagram.com/p/6yaIQjzLpA/?taken-by=drunk_cats

These kittens are sitting on a metaphorical park bench out of sight of their parents, waiting to taste their first illicit sip of beer. It is a moment they will look back on fondly, even if they seem a little nervous right now.

All the food groups

https://instagram.com/p/8oVq75TLkx/?taken-by=drunk_cats

Our distinguished feline friend here has reached the promised land by pairing an endless lineup of shots with a terrific cheese plate. Salute the endeavor.

One last shot

https://instagram.com/p/8hAQpDTLif/?taken-by=drunk_cats

This luxurious kitty, however, is caught in a classic drunk cats dilemma: You’re already on your way to passing out, but that nearby glass of vino looks so inviting. Decisions!

A sophisticated meeting place

https://instagram.com/p/8qZLsszLr0/?taken-by=drunk_cats

This photograph showcases nothing more than the height of the shabby chic drinking scene. Liquid love!

Not so sporting

https://instagram.com/p/8WlmgfTLtA/?taken-by=drunk_cats

Beer pong has never made any sense to me: If I want to drink some beer, I shouldn’t have to waste time messing around throwing a ping pong ball into a plastic cup. I like to think this meddlesome kitten shares my disdain for the pastime.

International zone coaster

https://instagram.com/p/3Z6bSYzLqx/?taken-by=drunk_cats

Travel is said to broaden the mind. Sure. But this smart Persian also knows that sometimes the only flight of fantasy you ever need is a bottle of imported nectar.

A little afternoon inspiration

https://instagram.com/p/8Yl7gcTLm2/?taken-by=drunk_cats

If your office’s minibar isn’t stocked with personal-sized bottles of Moet & Chandon, then you really need to reevaluate your work situation.

The seasonal supper

https://instagram.com/p/75eocuzLqh/?taken-by=drunk_cats

The cold weather is slowly encroaching, but this ginger tabby has shown the savvy foresight to stock up his beer pantry. We could all learn a lot from his behavior.

Don’t judge

https://instagram.com/p/7vu48ATLu6/?taken-by=drunk_cats

Sure, this enthusiastic party kitty might look like he’s been captured in an embarrassing shenanigan, but at least he’s living life to the tipsiest, right?

A charmed existence

https://instagram.com/p/7lR91DzLuH/?taken-by=drunk_cats

You can never find the help when you need it, huh? Our smush-faced pal here is distraught to discover that the wine will not actually pour itself. At least it’s a twist-off top.

Spice up your life

https://instagram.com/p/6_Td4rzLjs/?taken-by=drunk_cats

Who knew that cinnamon whiskey would be such a hit with the feline set?

Last orders

https://instagram.com/p/6RpB7ZTLmL/?taken-by=drunk_cats

This seasoned wine aficionado is showing great wisdom and responsibility by knowing when to call it a night. Cheers!

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About the author: Phillip Mlynar writes about cats, music, food, and sometimes a mix of all three. He considers himself the world’s foremost expert on rappers’ cats.