Can a cat be a superhero? Sure, why not? Cats entertain us daily and lighten our load, and for that alone they deserve to be called superhero animals. They have other distinct superhero qualities, such as their ability to rid our houses of spiders, jump higher than a speeding bullet, and their special skill of waking their owners by sitting on their chests and kneading, kneading, kneading until the human gets up. How do people without cats ever wake up on time? And by “on time,” I mean way, way, way before the sun comes up.
We can’t have pet cats on our Colorado ranch because our five dogs outvoted the idea. I get to have superhero cats in my life, however, thanks to my husband, Jeff Hebert. He developed a very popular online superhero creator called HeroMachine, and one day it hit me: Jeff has the ability to draw cats as superheroes! So he did.
Below are some of the Catster folks’ cats in all of their superhero cat glory. And even if you aren’t lucky enough to win our contest, you can have your cat drawn too — check out more details below.
1. Miss Uppity Tibbs (who belongs to Catster managing editor Vicky Walker)
Superhero Name: Mighty Toes/Puketastica
Weight: 9 pounds
Age: Ancient (at least 12)
Favorite Place: Underfoot
Superpower: Extra toes on her front paws allow her to catch balls in her mitts
Kryptonite: All other cats
Greatest strength: Resilience in the face of mortality. Is deaf, has barely any teeth, and walks like an animated Ray Harryhausen skeleton, but still manages to be a fierce presence.
Greatest weakness: Oh, where do I start? Crapping over the side of the box. Puking on the couch. Peeing behind the TV. Wailing at top volume when you come up behind her.
2. Saffy (beloved cat of Catster columnist Angie Bailey)
Superhero name: Large Marge or Mighty Hippo
Weight: 13 pounds
Favorite Place: Where the food is
Superpower: Hyper-olfactory sense to sniff out even the smallest crumb
Kryptonite: Small people with grabby hands
Greatest Strength: Paws of lightning
Greatest Weakness: Lack of stealth
3. Ambrose Hoffman (also Vicky’s)
Superhero name: The Velvet Lamb. That, or the Velvet Rat-Catcher.
Weight: 15 pounds
Favorite Place: The basket he no longer fits in
Superpower: Sleeps on his humans at funny angles — across your neck is a favorite
Kryptonite: The vacuum cleaner
Greatest Strength: Rat-catching
Greatest Weakness: The world’s puniest, most pathetic little meow, which sounds like it came out of a three-day-old kitten.
4. Kundalini, aka Little Mami (owned by SAY Media Social Strategist Anna Zeman)
Superhero name: Shrimp Tooth
Weight: 8 lbs (SHE’S SOOOOO LITTTTLLLE!)
Favorite Place: Inside the little teepees I make out of blankets on the bed
Superpower: Getting whatever she wants
Greatest Strength: Catching the string everytime but never killing it so she can always play with it again
Greatest Weakness: Only half her tongue is sandpaper so it makes grooming very difficult.
5. Thomas (owned by Cat Dandy Keith Bowers)
Superhero name: Captain Whiskers, the Tabby What Had Special Powers
Weight: 12 pounds
Age: around 4 1/2
Favorite Place: Secret Garage Lair (aka The Cat Cave)
Superpower: When chasing “feathered drones,” he jumps so high he touches the roof beams (and he strikes “Shamu” poses on the way up). Also, devastating cuteness.
Kryptonite: Crunchy salmon treats
Greatest Strength: Able to take down bird-toys that are flying at 5,000 feet with a single paw then deliver lethal bunny-kicks, all while reclining on the carpet. Also, devastating purr-meows.
Greatest Weakness: Kinda picky about food; gives up intense pursuits when he gets bored or tired.
6. Gentleman Jim (Vicky’s again)
Superhero name: Captain Pissypants
Weight: 9 pounds
Age: Allegedly 7, but acts like he’s 19
Favorite Place: On the wrong side of the door
Superpower: Peeing. On everything. Including me, in bed.
Greatest strength: Vertical jumping — very nimble for an old cat
Greatest weakness: Fancy Feast
How to enter the contest
Want the chance to win a customized superhero image of your cat? If so, please do the following:
In the comments section below, tell us what your cat’s superhero name would be and why. (You don’t need to go through all the details listed for the cats above, unless you want to.) If you can post a photo of your pet, do that, too — or send us a link to a full-body photo of your cat.
If you aren’t lucky enough to win, you can still commission Jeff to make a custom illustrated portrait of your superhero kitty at a very reasonable price.