OMG! Is My Cat Dead?? Clutch’s Mastery of ‘Death Sleep’

Hi, I’m Dr. Karyn! Read my introduction to learn more about me and meet my five hilarious cats: Clutch, Cyril, Alex, Zelda, and Zazzles.

Firstly, let me reassure you that the king of relaxation, champion of chillaxing, and master of IDGAF is alive and well. Clutch has not left the building. But he has, on more than one occasion, fooled me into thinking that he was.

The death-like appearance of a cat in full relaxation mode isn’t that unusual, with their penchant for posing in ways that seem anatomically impossible, let alone uncomfortable. But in Clutch’s case, this mimicry of the post-mortem extends beyond just appearances.

It all started a few weeks after I brought home this lanky, neglected, waif of a cat, back in 2015. His appetite for affection and food was intense, and one night, it led to him sneaking a slice of brie from an unguarded plate. He looked a little sorry for himself after a few hours, but otherwise seemed okay. Fast forward to later that night when I awoke to find Clutch in his usual position on the pillow beside me, sprawled out and unresponsive. I said his name, I gave him a gentle shake, but he did not move an inch.

OMG He’s Dead!

These were the words going through my head as I raced to turn on the lights and gather his lifeless body into my arms. How could one sliver of cheese have proved fatal? As I scooped him up, he lifted his head with an enthusiastic “Prrrp?”

I stood there for a few moments, looking in wonder at my white, fluffy Lazarus-cat, as he began to rub his head against mine, delighted to have been woken from his slumber for a midnight cuddle. Of course, I didn’t sleep a wink for the rest of the night, my eyes fixed on the steady rise and fall of his precious chest. Naturally, Clutch behaved as though nothing had happened.

It was around this time that I started to wonder if he could be deaf, so unperturbed and unbothered was his approach to life. However, rigorous checking and testing showed me that his hearing was perfectly intact; he is just unflappable.

You’re Killing Me!

Since that first frightening episode, Clutch has given me several heart attacks with his ability to engage in what I call ‘dead sleep’. So deeply committed to his slumber, Clutch can be called, repositioned, and sometimes even lifted, without even twitching an eyelid. Even though I have experienced this multiple times now, I still panic whenever it happens.

Following a series of neurological episodes several years back, Clutch has had a bevy of tests and investigations, including blood tests, CT imaging, spinal fluid analysis, and a specialist consultation, all of which have shown him to be completely (relatively!) normal and healthy, which is reassuring, of course.

While it’s not something I like to think about, of course, one day, he won’t be faking. However, he has promised me that he is aiming to break the record for the world’s oldest cat, so we have plenty of time to look forward to…unless the next ‘dead sleep’ kills me first.