Hi, I’m Dr. Karyn! Read my introduction to learn more about me and meet my five hilarious cats: Clutch, Cyril, Alex, Zelda, and Zazzles.
Firstly, let me reassure you that the king of relaxation, champion of chillaxing, and master of IDGAF is alive and well. Clutch has not left the building. But he has, on more than one occasion, fooled me into thinking that he was.
The death-like appearance of a cat in full relaxation mode isn’t that unusual, with their penchant for posing in ways that seem anatomically impossible, let alone uncomfortable. But in Clutch’s case, this mimicry of the post-mortem extends beyond just appearances.
It all started a few weeks after I brought home this lanky, neglected, waif of a cat, back in 2015. His appetite for affection and food was intense, and one night, it led to him sneaking a slice of brie from an unguarded plate. He looked a little sorry for himself after a few hours, but otherwise seemed okay. Fast forward to later that night when I awoke to find Clutch in his usual position on the pillow beside me, sprawled out and unresponsive. I said his name, I gave him a gentle shake, but he did not move an inch.
OMG He’s Dead!
These were the words going through my head as I raced to turn on the lights and gather his lifeless body into my arms. How could one sliver of cheese have proved fatal? As I scooped him up, he lifted his head with an enthusiastic “Prrrp?”
I stood there for a few moments, looking in wonder at my white, fluffy Lazarus-cat, as he began to rub his head against mine, delighted to have been woken from his slumber for a midnight cuddle. Of course, I didn’t sleep a wink for the rest of the night, my eyes fixed on the steady rise and fall of his precious chest. Naturally, Clutch behaved as though nothing had happened.
It was around this time that I started to wonder if he could be deaf, so unperturbed and unbothered was his approach to life. However, rigorous checking and testing showed me that his hearing was perfectly intact; he is just unflappable.
You’re Killing Me!
Since that first frightening episode, Clutch has given me several heart attacks with his ability to engage in what I call ‘dead sleep’. So deeply committed to his slumber, Clutch can be called, repositioned, and sometimes even lifted, without even twitching an eyelid. Even though I have experienced this multiple times now, I still panic whenever it happens.
Following a series of neurological episodes several years back, Clutch has had a bevy of tests and investigations, including blood tests, CT imaging, spinal fluid analysis, and a specialist consultation, all of which have shown him to be completely (relatively!) normal and healthy, which is reassuring, of course.
While it’s not something I like to think about, of course, one day, he won’t be faking. However, he has promised me that he is aiming to break the record for the world’s oldest cat, so we have plenty of time to look forward to…unless the next ‘dead sleep’ kills me first.
- Read her previous article: Cyril’s Purring Repertoire: 6 Different Purrs & Their Meanings
OMG He’s Dead!
4 Responses
This is interesting. It also makes me wonder if trauma and neglect play a role? Take me and a college friend of mine—we were both extremely light sleepers during our difficult childhoods. A couple years after I left my childhood home, I realized that I had become a much deeper sleeper, to the point that my phone alarm ringing right by my head wouldn’t awaken me! Prior, a phone alarm ringing a floor down would have awoken me. My friend also had a tumultuous childhood, and she also became an extremely deep sleeper in college. Her room was separated from the kitchen by a single curtain, and she slept through numerous loud conversations, dropped pots and pans, a fire alarm, etc..I wonder if it’s catching up on lost sleep, or if it’s because we know even on a subconscious level that we are safe now. I like to think it’s the same for Clutch.
Great post! Clear insights and very well written!
Thank you, kingone, we are happy you enjoyed the post!
love your article! keep writing about your many kittles, please! love all of your very wild animals too!