He's Into You, He's Just Not Into Cats? We Can Change That!
So what happens if you meet a fabulous guy and he’s just not into cats? He likes you, you like him, everything seems to be going fine ... and then it comes out that he doesn’t think kitties are the cat's meow.
I’ve done it twice. Don’t ask me how I keep picking non-cat-lovers, but I do. Luckily, I’ve been able to fix them every time!
Your first instinct may be to run the other way, and many of you might do just that. But if you like the man a lot and he seems otherwise perfect, I’m here to tell you that it’s possible to make him into a cat guy (or at least close enough to one that it’ll do).
The trick is to do it slowly, so he hardly notices. And then one day … BOOM! He’s calling your kitty into bed with him and missing your kitty when he’s at work. It can happen. I’m proof.
It also helps to have fabulous cats. As I do, of course.
Here's my foolproof plan to overcome the biggest issues:
Issue 1: Cats in the bed
This is probably the biggest irk that non-cat guys have. Your cats have been cuddled up with you in bed for years (of course they have!), but now he doesn’t think they belong there when you’re in the bed together. Whether they think it’s creepy or gross (because of the cat hair), this is a delicate situation to deal with.
The key is to make your man think you’re open to working with him, while also making him feel just guilty enough to feel bad about it. (Sneaky, cat ladies, sneaky!) I told my boyfriend that if the boys got too rowdy at night (you know the 5 a.m. turbo wake-up rounds) and it really bothered him, he could put them outside the room and close the door so he could go back to sleep. I said it with "the face." The boys might have been giving him the face, too.
So every 5 a.m., when the boys got rowdy (of course they did; they’re cats!), I would roll over and ask him if he wanted me to kick them out (sounding very sweet and making “kick them out” sound just horrible). And he never said yes. A couple times I have actually done it as a peace offering, but never once did he grab a cat and put them out himself.
And you know what? Now he even calls them over when we get in bed! I think people don’t realize how cute and cuddly it is to sleep with a cat until they do it. You just have to make them do it a few times for them to realize.
Issue 2: Cats when you’re eating
Another thing that non-cat people don’t like is cats staring at them while they’re eating, or cats trying to get on the table. In my house, the boys are always around at eating time. (Disclaimer: The boys are not allowed to have their faces in my food, but I don’t mind them sitting next to the plate.) Anyway, this particular guy was not a fan of cats on the table while we were eating, so I put the cats down at first ... but slowly, the cat was allowed back up.
Here’s how I did it: I made a line on the table that the cat couldn’t cross. (It’s just the seam where the two tabletop pieces meet in the middle.) Did the cat know that line was there? Maybe. Did I make a big deal out of pointing it out and making sure the cat stayed on the other side? Yes. It was almost like a game.
And you know what? He thought the cat was listening and even called him a good boy when he stayed on “his side” of the table. His side! You see how I did that? Us cat ladies will recognize this as the cat being on the table while we eat.
Issue 3: The litter box
Oh, the litter box. Just scoop it, ladies. Obsessively. Put a plug-in air freshener in there. Nothing is going to make a guy not like cats more than a stinky, dirty litter box. Just eliminate the issue from his head by making sure it’s a nonissue.
Issue 4: Cats on the furniture
It’s called FURniture for a reason, right? Try telling that to a non-cat person.
If your guy gets icked out by cats on the couch and chairs, make sure your kitties sit by you only. Put them on your lap. Mention how comfortable they look when they’re all sprawled out on the sofa next to you.
And then, little by little, curl up with your kitty and your guy over time. Your cats will probably do this anyway as they get more comfortable with him. Eventually, the bunch of you will all be lying around watching movies purring and smiling!
Now make him feel like the cat’s daddy!
Give him some responsibility with the cats (not the litter box at first!) and he’ll probably get that nurturing bug. Ask him to give the cat breakfast a few times and dinner a few other times. Pretty soon, he’ll be asking you: “Did you feed kitty yet?” And you’ll just smile and say, “No, honey, not yet. But can you do it?” And he’ll run right to the kitchen, kitty running alongside!
Think it can’t work? Keep at it and slowly their lives will mesh together. You’ll see!
My guy now misses my cats when we’re not home, and picks them up first thing when he gets home and hugs them and tells them he loves them. He wonders where they are when they're not in bed with us, and gives them morning pets and scritches. He looks forward to dressing them up for holidays and playing with them at night.
So guess what? I now have a cat guy! (Although he may not be ready to admit it yet. We'll give him a little more time ...)
Does your guy love cats? Did he always? Let me know in the comments!