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11 Reasons Cats Are Better Than Guys

Cats don’t send inappropriate tweets to other women, and they don't pee in the shower. I can go on. Let me go on.

 |  Jan 2nd 2014  |   50 Contributions


In the past I’ve written about the striking similarities between men and cats. As an example, with both men and cats you never really know what they’re thinking. Both must be approached gingerly, being spoken to softly and slowly (sudden movements are not advised). Neither cat nor man is a star communicator. And both rarely tend to spend the whole night with you. So you might be surprised to learn there are actually several ways in which felines are superior to their two-legged counterparts. 

1. They don’t pee in the shower

At least not of which we are aware.

2. They don’t send inappropriate tweets to other women

Thank goodness for their lack of opposable thumbs!

3. If they’re having a fling, you’ll know exactly who the other woman is

Chances are you’ll approve (just be sure everyone has been spayed and neutered!).

4. They don’t watch football on TV

Perhaps only the occasional political talk show or episode of Homeland.

5. You’ll never fall into the toilet at night because the seat was left up 

Unless your cat is using the Litter Kwitter, in which case I have no words.  

6. There’s nothing they can do that a pair of bunny paws can’t make all better

Who doesn't love the bunny paws?

7. You have access to all their computer passwords

No secrets here, buddy!   

8. They don't need to ask for directions

If they refuse to ask they can only get so far, and it can only get so bad. 

9. They're always dressed appropriately

They will never embarrass you by appearing in a wife beater and sport socks.

10. You’ll never kick them out of bed

Even when they snore. 

11. There’s never any guesswork when it comes to the dinner check

You’re paying. While admittedly not ideal, there’s something to be said for consistency.

After the evidence placed before you, you’ll have no choice but to agree. Cats are in fact just plain better than the regular garden-variety two-legged human male. Can you think of other ways four-legged boys are superior to men?

All photos by Tamar Arslanian, except for Harried Executive Cat by Shutterstock. 

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About the author: Tamar Arslanian is a singleton living in New York City with her three cats Kip, Petie, and Haddie. Tamar writes about cats, relationships and life in the Big Apple on her nationally recognized blog, I HAVE CAT. She was recently quoted in People StyleWatch “What’s In What’s Out” about cat toy trends. Her biggest secret? She didn’t grow up with animals (unless you count goldfish and a hamster). When she finally got her first cat she was in her early 30s and it was all thanks to a man she was dating at the time. You can follow Tamar and I HAVE CAT on FacebookTwitter and Pinterest.

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