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8 Bad Online Dating Pics — From Cats

Some humans' pics are blurry, over-the-top manly, or super-staged. Cats' results would be no different.

Angie Bailey  |  Mar 6th 2017


Last year, I spent several months wading through the online dating pool. It was, um, an interesting experience that I’d never undo because that’s how I met my boyfriend. In fact, I know many people who found the love of their life on the pages of OkCupid, Tinder and Match.com. There’s definitely something to be said about the modern technology intervening in our love lives.

If you’ve ever perused the profiles of an online dating site, you know there’s a variety of eligible peeps out there, ready to make a connection. When I wrote my own profile, I painstakingly chose the photos that I felt best represented me, and I spent quite a bit of time crafting my profile. It’s evident that many do the same thing … and then there are the others. I’m not sure whether the makers of these other profiles are half-drunk or just don’t care when they construct their online calling card. The photos are sometimes blurry or off center, or they’re trying to be sexy but, well, they’re just not. And then there are the bios. Sheesh. These individuals who can’t seem to steady the camera are also the ones who think they’re all that and a bag of cheese doodles.

Here are eight cats who give these careless humans a run for their money when it comes to online dating pics.

1. The one with the car

"Check out my wheels."

“Check out my wheels.” Photo via Flickr

Look at a dozen profile pics, and at least one will be taken while sitting in a car. Why? I still don’t understand this concept. Is it because of the natural light? Maybe the user wants us to know he has a fancy car? No idea, but I found the trend to be kind of funny after a while.

Cats would also hop onto the car-pic bandwagon, although theirs would be taken inside a carrier.

2. The one with the blurry selfie

"Hi."

“Hi.” Photo via Flickr

So, yeah. People actually use some blurry-a** selfie as their primary profile pic, and they think, “This is is one that’s gonna reel in my true love.” They have to think that, because why else would they use it?

Desperate cats might also utilize a blurry selfie for the same reasons humans do, which continues to be a mystery.

3. The one trying to be be sexy

"Wanna meet for a drink?"

“Wanna meet for a drink?” Photo via Flickr

I’ll admit it: There are some sexy photos on online dating sites. There are also some wanna-be-sexy pics. You know — ones where the person is trying so hard, but the whole setup falls short and instead looks a bit sad or even funny.

Cats, despite their typically pristine personas, can sometimes come across quite awkwardly. I’d like to think that the awkward find the awkward, and everyone lives happily ever after.

4. The one with the manly vibe

“Study these toes.” Photo via Flickr

I ran across several bios of men who really wanted to flaunt their virility. They posted pic after pic of themselves weightlifting and muscle-flexing. I know a lot of people get into that business, but it was a total turn-off to me. Put down the weights and pick up a cat — now we’re talkin’!

Cats have no trouble going claws-out and looking all tough as nails. I’m sure toms would love posting pics of themselves sharpening their claws on trees and taking down the neighbor cat.

5. The one with the fish

"Let me fish for you."

“Let me fish for you.” Photo via Flickr

I know it’s a cliché to those who’ve spent time looking at online profiles, but you can’t scroll more than one page without seeing at least one photo of a guy holding a fish. There’s this group of men who must feel like they want the ladies to know that this is what they’re all about. They can hunt and gather with the best of them. Perhaps they’re also communicating something about the size of their “fish.”

With cats, I guess this is more understandable, but still. Fish.

7. The one with the party

"You like the leaf?"

“You like the leaf?” Photo via Flickr

If potential dates want you to know they’re partiers, they’re going to show it in their profile pics. They’re either holding a drink, full-out partying at a luau, or making the “wooo!” face while tailgating before a football game. Now this isn’t just the menfolk who take these pics. There’s a fair amount of eligible women with the “wooo!” face as well. I think women invented the “wooo!” face.

Cats love a party, and they become way more comfortable in front of the camera after a few leaves of the nip. There would definitely be plenty o’ nip faces as profile pics.

8. The one with the staged selfie

"Join me."

“Join me.” Photo via Flickr

Then there’s the one with the staged selfie. This isn’t in the same category as “blurry selfie,” but there’s some overlap. These are ones where we find plenty of “duck lips,” shots in the bathroom mirror, and from the bed. They’re intentionally created for the online profile, and the user wants to look his or her very best.

Cats know they look their very best all the time, and they don’t need duck lips to prove it; however, they love drama and would be all over this kind of profile pic.

What kind of online dating pic would your cat have? Tell us about it or post a pic in the comments!