My goodness!!

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I Yam a LAADY in DHiss-Tress!!!

August 3rd 2008 7:06 am
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Oh my dearz!!

Sattiday wuz NOT a good day fur me!!

Meowmie nottissed dat I wuz hissy and hidey and sinss I do dat wunns in a wile (I WUZ an abandond haff-wild kitty libbing on da streets for a few yeerz, yoo know!!), she just gaiv me my spaiss.

Well, aftur I had been hiding for half a day and HISSSING wenn she pikkt me up, she lookt at me carefully, and EGADS!! Tan and green likwid wuz running from under my tail !!!

She lokkt me in da cat rume until she cudd get da Kat Prizon (carrier) reddy and then she realized dat da Kat Rume has LOTSA Hidey Plaissiz (heh heh) and she had to taik apart haffa da Kat Rume to find me! And I Raaan and hid in side da kovird littahbokks and HIssssed, so she knew sumpin wuz VERY wrong.

Well, I got grabbd and lokkt into da Kitty Boodwar Bafroom, and THAT iz ware Meowmie saw…..Lotsa Blud….under my tale.

It only took THREE tries to get me into da Kat Prizon. Meowmie kalled a Kab, and we got to da ‘Merjincy vetties soon —evin tho da Kab Drivur wuz a KREEEEEP, abd wuz trying to taik da LOOONG way there.

I got wisskd me into da Xamining Rume and Meowmie paced paced paced da floor and wated and wated… and then they called hur in and there I was, waring a Lizzy-Beethin Kollir and sitting kwie-etly in da Kat Prizon.

“She had a CYST under her tale and it popped and dat iz wy yoo saw da PUSSS and da blud!!!” sed da Vettie.

So I gottid summa my butt harez klipped and my -- ahem -- Aynalz eksspressed and I gottid kleened up and Meowmie and I went hoam. A freend droav us bakk.

Now Iyam LOKKT into my Boodwar and I kvetch. Iyam getting my foodies, AND a liddle bit of my FAVRIT Junk Foodies (haha sez Meowmie - I put her Aunty ByeOttix in a liddle bit of her junk foodies), and wenn I yam not trying to ESSKAIP frum dis Boodwar, I sit primly and kvetch.

Meowmie snugged an EKollar on me becuz I awreddy dun puttid my arm thru it and PANIKKED! So Iyam ONLY waring it wenn Meowmie iz HERE to soopervize me. Thankyew Meowmie

My butt has bluddy sores on it but I get a nice (ah) warm compress a coupla times eech day. And Moewmie haz promisst me we are going bakk to da Vetties in a cuppla weeks- oh wat FUN! (NOT!)

BBBT comez ovur to my gait and HISSSIZ at me. Da NURV!!

Oh..... I wish I had my nisse boyfrenn kitty heer with me to snuzzle and cuddle with me and nibbul my eerz…..(flutterz I-lashiz, sighs…..)

 

I Made a STRAINJ Noyzz

July 17th 2008 7:04 am
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Da uthir nite I was playig with my pooofy tail. And I went around and around and around catchin mytail and lik likk likkin it and then spinnin arownd and tryin to catch it again.

And I wuz SO HAPPEE that I sang like dis: "Meh meh Mah mah Mah!!!"

Meowmie sed "Huh?"

(hee hee!!)

 

MEOWMIE DID A STOOOOPID!!!!

June 20th 2008 8:25 am
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Meowmie was standing at da sink da uthir nite, and she wuz tiiired. She cuttid an Av-oh!-cah-doe in half and then used da pointy end of a sharp nyfe to get da seed owt.

Well..... yoo don't do dat, you reeelly reelly don't do dat, Meowmie!

Da nyfe slipped and da pit went flying backwirdz and da nyfe wentid into Meowmie's finger.

She thinks dat mebbe da Av-oh!-cah-doe pit bonked me on my liddle frowzy hedd on its way onto da floor, becuz she hurd a LOWD "KVETCH!" and she saw me RUNNIN' away from da Flyin Av-oh!-cah-doe Pit.

Dis wuz NOT funny at da time.

She took good cair of hur fingur an she iz Okie Dokie now.

She has awlso deesideid dat using a spoon to scoop owt da pit iz a much saifer thing to do.

An sinss I didnt have any GREEN on my frowzie liddle hedd, she figurd dat maybee dat Av-oh!-cah-doe pit didn't bonk me aftur all.

Like I doant hav enuff trubbullz awreddy? (And I inclewd BBBT in my list of Thingz to KVETCH Abowt!!!!)

 

Oh Deer......

June 20th 2008 8:22 am
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Da bad nooz - My Livah Valewz ("ALT") wuz retested last Sattiday, and now they are 292 (instedd of 209, wich wuz hi to begin with)

Uh oh.

Pee Ess -- da gud nooz iz dat I ganed 11 Ownssiz -- I went from 5 pownds 9 ownssiz to 6 powndz 4 ownssiz.

To be Kontin-mewed.

 

BBBT IZ A DRAAAMA KWEEEN!!!

May 12th 2008 7:39 am
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Tewday Meowmie puttid me in da Kat Rume so BBBT cudd wandur abowt withowt encountering me .

Then latur she pikkt up La Bee Bee Bee Tee and opened da dore of my Kat Rume and Bee Bee Bee Tee started to go "AHHHWAAH WAAAAAAH!!" reeeel lowd!! So Meowmie sed "Iz she gonna PEWK in my armz??!!!AAAAGH"

So Meowmie puttid BBBT down and tride to keep me from running owta da Kat Rume, but I wuz wareing my Hyperspeed High Heels and I FLEW outta dat rume ..... and BBBT -- who had REELY been "AH WAAAH WAAAH"ing becuz she wantid to fite me -- FLED and I ran aftur hur and Meowmie sed "oh no!! Hur HARTY!!" and she ran aftur me -- and BBBT and I was a-growling and a-snarling and we wuz a-waving ower frunt pawz in the air at eech uthir, MOST mennasinglee ....

and then... My SILLEEE Meowmie startid to LAFF!!!!! becuz sum ladee started Caterwauling some Opera Mewzik, reel lowd, on da Radio Masheen wile me and La BBBT was a snarlin and a-shreekin at wun anudder!!!

Meowmie, YOO hav a warped senss of Hewmor!!!

Ennyway, Meowmie sed "I do not DARE to pikk up BBBT!!" I think we awl noe why.

So she WUZ abul to pikk me up withowt getting shreddid and she put me bakk in da Kat Rume and sed "Sorry Cee Cee -- I'll let yoo owt a little later on purrhaps!!"

And she kept hur wird! She finally puttid BBBT in hur bedrume and klowzed da dore -- and now I am sahayin' abowt da whole apartmint while Miss Larjius Lardbutt sleeps on Meowmie's plushy sleeping bag, behind klowzed dorez.

 

SA-NOE-WHAT???

May 6th 2008 8:24 am
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I hafta go for a Sonogram. They want to look at my insides.

Hoomans are STRAAANJ. Why don't they just rub nosies with me??? Hoo carez watt my insids look like, rite???

oh................ i unnerstannnn...

..........um................MEOWMIE!!!!!! !

(shudd I be skared?)

 

Uh Oh... I guess PIMPULLZ are the LEEST of my problimz rite- now....

April 13th 2008 10:37 am
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I wentid to da vettie to get my Teef Cleaned. Meowmie took me in my carrier, on da bus, and then on da trane, and then on ANNUDER bus (as she yewzually duz - they let peepul taik there small pets on da public transportayshun as long as they are in small carriers. Meowmie haz been doing this for TWELB yeerz).

My carrier had a showldir strap dat Meowmie put on it so dat carrier strap went over Meowmie's head and da strap was attached to Meowmie's showldir and she also held on to da handul of da carriur-- AND it had a second safety latch on da door, so da door wudd not akksidentally opin.

Peepul on da bus and on da trane lookt at me and sed I wuz pritty!!! They all smiled!! (How many times do yoo see peepul on da bus dat's SMILIN' -- Hmmm?)

But on da SEKOND bus-- da DRIVER MADE US GET OFF!!!!

Meowmie tride to tell him dat YES SHE CUDD get on -- and da drivur sed "NO!!"

Meowmie sed two wirds to da driver. I cannt repeet them. (Oh, my delikit eeerz!!!)

We gottid off dat bus -- and -- GOT ON DA NEXT BUS RITE BEHIND DAT SILLY DRIVER'Z BUS!!

So we finally gottid to da vettie's and Meowmie left me there for da day and wenn she gottid to wirk there wuz a messij on her Masheen dat sed - "We KANNOT Kleen Cee Cee's teef -- She haz a HART MURMIR!!!!"

Oh FOOEY!! And I just PASSED my Phyzical LAST MONTH!!!

So Meowmie went to da vetties aftur wirk -- she made an appointmint for a Kardio - Ekko Gram, and then she took me (in my Carrier) on da first bus, then da trane, then da sekond bus and we finally gottid hoam and we wuz BOTH happy to get hoam and Meowmie and I kollapsed on da beddie and fell FAAST asleep.

I go bakk to da vet nexxt week.

I hoap Iyam OK.

 

RAAATTTTSS! I HAVE FEELINE "ACK! KNEE " TOO!!!

April 8th 2008 7:06 am
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Meowmie foundid a pimpull on my chin!!
I gues dat makes me BBBT's twin
(grrrr...)

Cuz she's got Ack! Knee too - oh wat a DRAG!!!
Now BOTH ower chinz get wiped down with a rag!

I hoap my boyfrennz doant see me like dis!
But if they do all I will do iz HISSSS

And tell them "LOVE ME JUST DA WAY IYAM!!"
And if you won't I gues yoo bettur SKRAM!!

heh heh

 

MOL!! Ace Ventura Livz Heer!!!

January 11th 2008 11:29 am
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Meowmie gottid a packij from Mercy's Mom addressed to "Ace Ventura" MOL!!

It didint have NO problim gettin to Meowmie's Pee Oh Bokks -- cuz they all know her as a Cat Purrson -- Well, my deers, inside dat bokks was a BEEEOOTIFUL Two Color Bed (Yellow and Mauve!) -- made by Mercy's Mom-- JUST for ME!!

Meowmie put da beddie down and inbited me ovur to peruse it, and I inspektid da frinj, and made biskits and wiggled abowt on MY bed, and Meowmie tride to take pikshas but everytime she tried to, I kept getting up and wiggling ovur to her -- LOL!! So dat iz why yoo just see da Bakk of my Liddle Frowzy hedd in da piksha!! Wait until I Zzzzonk owt Meowmie, and then yoo can taik sum pikshas!!!

Thankyewe Mercy and yore wunnerful Talintid meowmie for dis bed-- Mine all Mine!!( BBBT haz her own, so I heer).

 

Oh deer!! Tooothy problimz!!

February 23rd 2007 12:49 pm
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Meowmie took me to da vettie today -- first she gave me dizzy pills (Acepromazine-- prescribed by da vet -- I get only 1/2 of wun). Then she kept me in my kitty boodwar so I cuddint run and hide sumwhere, and then when I got liddle funny-walking she putted me in da carrier and I moaned MOST dolefully. Then we wentid to da vet. I was pritty kwiet by then, cuz da Trank had really kicked in.

I lookt out and saw some doggers-- there was a HEEWGE dogger hoo lookt like a big blakk bear-- her name was ***giggul** -- LULU!!! She was very sweet to her hoomans but I dunno how much she likes catties -- Meowmie keeps me AWAy frum all doggers..

Then da vettie came and we wentid in hur offiss. She eggzaminnd me and I asked her for a cheek scritchie and she and Meowmie both went "Aw!" But then she got sad cuz I have a BAAAAD toothie and it probbly has a hole in it so I gotta hav an operayshun!!

Now I'm back hoam and eeting very very skwishy foodies until I go for my toothie operayshun.

 
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