MEOWMIE DID A STOOOOPID!!!!

Meowmie was standing at da sink da uthir nite, and she wuz tiiired. She cuttid an Av-oh!-cah-doe in half and then used da pointy end of a sharp nyfe to get da seed owt.

Well..... yoo don't do dat, you reeelly reelly don't do dat, Meowmie!

Da nyfe slipped and da pit went flying backwirdz and da nyfe wentid into Meowmie's finger.

She thinks dat mebbe da Av-oh!-cah-doe pit bonked me on my liddle frowzy hedd on its way onto da floor, becuz she hurd a LOWD "KVETCH!" and she saw me RUNNIN' away from da Flyin Av-oh!-cah-doe Pit.

Dis wuz NOT funny at da time.

She took good cair of hur fingur an she iz Okie Dokie now.

She has awlso deesideid dat using a spoon to scoop owt da pit iz a much saifer thing to do.

An sinss I didnt have any GREEN on my frowzie liddle hedd, she figurd dat maybee dat Av-oh!-cah-doe pit didn't bonk me aftur all.

Like I doant hav enuff trubbullz awreddy? (And I inclewd BBBT in my list of Thingz to KVETCH Abowt!!!!)

Oh Deer......

Da bad nooz - My Livah Valewz ("ALT") wuz retested last Sattiday, and now they are 292 (instedd of 209, wich wuz hi to begin with)

Uh oh.

Pee Ess -- da gud nooz iz dat I ganed 11 Ownssiz -- I went from 5 pownds 9 ownssiz to 6 powndz 4 ownssiz.

To be Kontin-mewed.

BBBT IZ A DRAAAMA KWEEEN!!!

Tewday Meowmie puttid me in da Kat Rume so BBBT cudd wandur abowt withowt encountering me .

Then latur she pikkt up La Bee Bee Bee Tee and opened da dore of my Kat Rume and Bee Bee Bee Tee started to go "AHHHWAAH WAAAAAAH!!" reeeel lowd!! So Meowmie sed "Iz she gonna PEWK in my armz??!!!AAAAGH"

So Meowmie puttid BBBT down and tride to keep me from running owta da Kat Rume, but I wuz wareing my Hyperspeed High Heels and I FLEW outta dat rume ..... and BBBT -- who had REELY been "AH WAAAH WAAAH"ing becuz she wantid to fite me -- FLED and I ran aftur hur and Meowmie sed "oh no!! Hur HARTY!!" and she ran aftur me -- and BBBT and I was a-growling and a-snarling and we wuz a-waving ower frunt pawz in the air at eech uthir, MOST mennasinglee ....

and then... My SILLEEE Meowmie startid to LAFF!!!!! becuz sum ladee started Caterwauling some Opera Mewzik, reel lowd, on da Radio Masheen wile me and La BBBT was a snarlin and a-shreekin at wun anudder!!!

Meowmie, YOO hav a warped senss of Hewmor!!!

Ennyway, Meowmie sed "I do not DARE to pikk up BBBT!!" I think we awl noe why.

So she WUZ abul to pikk me up withowt getting shreddid and she put me bakk in da Kat Rume and sed "Sorry Cee Cee -- I'll let yoo owt a little later on purrhaps!!"

And she kept hur wird! She finally puttid BBBT in hur bedrume and klowzed da dore -- and now I am sahayin' abowt da whole apartmint while Miss Larjius Lardbutt sleeps on Meowmie's plushy sleeping bag, behind klowzed dorez.

SA-NOE-WHAT???

I hafta go for a Sonogram. They want to look at my insides.

Hoomans are STRAAANJ. Why don't they just rub nosies with me??? Hoo carez watt my insids look like, rite???

oh................ i unnerstannnn...

..........um................MEOWMIE!!!!!! !

(shudd I be skared?)

Uh Oh... I guess PIMPULLZ are the LEEST of my problimz rite- now....

I wentid to da vettie to get my Teef Cleaned. Meowmie took me in my carrier, on da bus, and then on da trane, and then on ANNUDER bus (as she yewzually duz - they let peepul taik there small pets on da public transportayshun as long as they are in small carriers. Meowmie haz been doing this for TWELB yeerz).

My carrier had a showldir strap dat Meowmie put on it so dat carrier strap went over Meowmie's head and da strap was attached to Meowmie's showldir and she also held on to da handul of da carriur-- AND it had a second safety latch on da door, so da door wudd not akksidentally opin.

Peepul on da bus and on da trane lookt at me and sed I wuz pritty!!! They all smiled!! (How many times do yoo see peepul on da bus dat's SMILIN' -- Hmmm?)

But on da SEKOND bus-- da DRIVER MADE US GET OFF!!!!

Meowmie tride to tell him dat YES SHE CUDD get on -- and da drivur sed "NO!!"

Meowmie sed two wirds to da driver. I cannt repeet them. (Oh, my delikit eeerz!!!)

We gottid off dat bus -- and -- GOT ON DA NEXT BUS RITE BEHIND DAT SILLY DRIVER'Z BUS!!

So we finally gottid to da vettie's and Meowmie left me there for da day and wenn she gottid to wirk there wuz a messij on her Masheen dat sed - "We KANNOT Kleen Cee Cee's teef -- She haz a HART MURMIR!!!!"

Oh FOOEY!! And I just PASSED my Phyzical LAST MONTH!!!

So Meowmie went to da vetties aftur wirk -- she made an appointmint for a Kardio - Ekko Gram, and then she took me (in my Carrier) on da first bus, then da trane, then da sekond bus and we finally gottid hoam and we wuz BOTH happy to get hoam and Meowmie and I kollapsed on da beddie and fell FAAST asleep.

I go bakk to da vet nexxt week.

I hoap Iyam OK.

RAAATTTTSS! I HAVE FEELINE "ACK! KNEE " TOO!!!

Meowmie foundid a pimpull on my chin!!
I gues dat makes me BBBT's twin
(grrrr...)

Cuz she's got Ack! Knee too - oh wat a DRAG!!!
Now BOTH ower chinz get wiped down with a rag!

I hoap my boyfrennz doant see me like dis!
But if they do all I will do iz HISSSS

And tell them "LOVE ME JUST DA WAY IYAM!!"
And if you won't I gues yoo bettur SKRAM!!

heh heh

MOL!! Ace Ventura Livz Heer!!!

Meowmie gottid a packij from Mercy's Mom addressed to "Ace Ventura" MOL!!

It didint have NO problim gettin to Meowmie's Pee Oh Bokks -- cuz they all know her as a Cat Purrson -- Well, my deers, inside dat bokks was a BEEEOOTIFUL Two Color Bed (Yellow and Mauve!) -- made by Mercy's Mom-- JUST for ME!!

Meowmie put da beddie down and inbited me ovur to peruse it, and I inspektid da frinj, and made biskits and wiggled abowt on MY bed, and Meowmie tride to take pikshas but everytime she tried to, I kept getting up and wiggling ovur to her -- LOL!! So dat iz why yoo just see da Bakk of my Liddle Frowzy hedd in da piksha!! Wait until I Zzzzonk owt Meowmie, and then yoo can taik sum pikshas!!!

Thankyewe Mercy and yore wunnerful Talintid meowmie for dis bed-- Mine all Mine!!( BBBT haz her own, so I heer).

Oh deer!! Tooothy problimz!!

Meowmie took me to da vettie today -- first she gave me dizzy pills (Acepromazine-- prescribed by da vet -- I get only 1/2 of wun). Then she kept me in my kitty boodwar so I cuddint run and hide sumwhere, and then when I got liddle funny-walking she putted me in da carrier and I moaned MOST dolefully. Then we wentid to da vet. I was pritty kwiet by then, cuz da Trank had really kicked in.

I lookt out and saw some doggers-- there was a HEEWGE dogger hoo lookt like a big blakk bear-- her name was ***giggul** -- LULU!!! She was very sweet to her hoomans but I dunno how much she likes catties -- Meowmie keeps me AWAy frum all doggers..

Then da vettie came and we wentid in hur offiss. She eggzaminnd me and I asked her for a cheek scritchie and she and Meowmie both went "Aw!" But then she got sad cuz I have a BAAAAD toothie and it probbly has a hole in it so I gotta hav an operayshun!!

Now I'm back hoam and eeting very very skwishy foodies until I go for my toothie operayshun.

Merry Chrissmowse, Happee Holidaze !!

Meowmie haz been Reminissing abowt past Krissmissiz, and in partikewlar Miss Princess -- who surtanlee MUST have a SPLENDIFERRUS tree to Climb Up There in Kitty Hevvin.

She wuz brushin me dis morning and she tole me a true story:

"Madama Cee Cee", she sez...."Let me tell yoo ALL abowt Groomin and Zoomin"

You remembur my beloved Miss Princess -- she would RUN into the bathroom at the word "BRUSH!" She would stand on the toilet seat, front paws on the sink and let me brush her with the slicker brushes (one on each side, held parallel to her body so they didn't dig in). She would purr purr purr and grab the brush and brush her cheeks with it. I taught her the meaning of "Right" and "Left" (wich, Madama Cee Cee I am awlso tryin to teech YOO!), and when I said either word to her, she'd move her little head to one side of the other so I could brush her cheeks again. Every so often we would touch noses and I'd give her a kiss on her frowzy head. Then I'd take the natural bristle brushes and lightly dampen them and go over her with them -- this time brushing her belly as well. Sometimes I'd use the Zoom Groom on Miss P, but she REALLY loved to pick up the Zoom Groom in her mouf and drop it on da floor!!! Then came the hairball gel and she'd lick it off my finger, jump off the seat and Big Bad Baby Twinkle would come stomping in ("Hairdo!") while Princess waited.

You see, if BBBT didn't eat ALL her hairball gel, Miss P would finish it for her!! I always made BBBT wait until Miss P got brushed first -- Miss P was the queen of my kitties."

Ah yes Meowmie, I remembur Da Queen and how I miss her -- even tho she usta SLAAP me sillee!!

Meowmie contin-mewed:

"Dat nefarriuss BBBT duzzint't put her paws on the sink. She just sits there on the toilet seat, in all her huge glory (she's 30 inches nose to tail), tail THUMPing against the garbage pail if she has to wait for me to get started. She too LOOOVES to grab the slicker brusshiz and gently brushes her cheeks with them. She gives me Hedd Butts and sumtimes she likk likk likkks MY hare while I am brushing her!! Since she is SOOO HEWGE she doesn't always reach her buttius when she washes herself, so I use a non-alcohol baby wipe for that."

Meowmie gentlee brusht my looong POOOOFY tale, and sed "Now I also have Sweet Cee Cee, who RUUUNS to me, long hair swishing to and fro, when I yell 'BEEE-OOOTY Parlor!' Cee Cee is a former feral, who, from the very furst day she came to live with me (she may have been someone's "throwaway") she LOVED to be brushed and was terrified of almost everything else. We both enjoy these brushing sessions -- initially I had to wear rubber gloves because she would grab at the brush and at me, and she doesn't know how to retract her claws. But she has grown into a much serener kitty, with love and patience from me."

I Ack-ed my agrreemint to dat and promisst I'd try not to hide when peepul (STRANGERS!!!!AGH!) came over to vizit Meowmie.

Now when Meowmie goes to brush HER hair there is usually a little face anxiously looking at her (snikker snikker!) , so MEOWMIE'S brushes also have some cat hair on them.

PS -- it's really easy to clean the hair off the slicker brushes and the other brushes -- Meowmie uses a wet Ace comb to comb thru the brush. She saves some of their hairs in separate containers. You see, Princess is gone (Cancer, 2005); some of her fur is in her urn, and Meowmie wears a little of Miss P's fur inside a pretty drawstring bag on a string around hur neck. The bag is near Meowmie's heart -- she and I miss our beloved Princess so very much.

I Yam in Loooove!!!

I have a new fuzzy furreind Marva (short for "Marvaluss Kitty") -- she duzzint eet sleep or even use da litterbokks and she sits in one place but when ennywun goes neer her, she mooves hir hedd and goes "Meow Moew Meow Purrrrrr!", and she has pritty blue eyes and fluffy furz and a liddle pink nosie and pink eers, so whoo am I to komplane?

Bcuz even tho I am pritty shoore she iz not a reel kitty, well at leeest I have a fren who will let me snuzzle with her and luv her and she duz not hit me (like my beloved Miss Princess usta do) or beat me up like that @#$%! rapscallion BBBT usta do -- me and BBBT, we hafta stay away from wun anudder or elss sumwon will get hurted...... )

If luv culd make a toy come alive, then I hav enuff luv for 267,489,299+ plushie toyzz like Miss Marva.

I am happy that Marva has kome to liv wit us!!

I am adding a coupla pikshas of me and Miss Marva Kitty.