March 17th 2014 12:29 pm
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The Sekurity Angel sits placidly at hir desk. Oh Look!! There are THREE photos of BBBT on hir desk! Waidaminit -- it's a Mug Shot. Oh deer.
Da Monitors show da SHEF walking into da Heavenly kitchen to prepair Brekkfist VERY urly dis morning. Da larj shaip waring a shefs hat and apron moves abowt in da still-dark kichin industriously, and then walks out. Da Sekewrity Anjul likks hir chops knowing dat Brekkfist tewday will be a speshul one becuz it is……….
HAPPY ST PATTY’s Day!!! In Heaven all are rejoicing, even the Snakies!!! St Pat is there signing autographs, and everyone is wearing green hats and saying “KISS ME I’M IRISH!!” and everywun iz having a WUNNDERFUL time!! Oh! The breakfast bell rings and all the Citizens in Hevvin line up in an orderly fashun (NO pushing in Hevvin!!) and from the kitchen we hear an Angel Cook SKAREEEMING- "ALL DA FOODIE IS GREEN!!!!!!”
Liddle Voyssiz say “Da Aigs are GREEN!! Da HAM is GREEN!! Da Orinj Joooss is …GREEEN! DA KRANBERRY Joos iz a DISGUSTING GREY! Da CAWFEE and da English Muphins and da BAYKON and SAWSIJ and da BEIGNETS is all GREEEN! Da Dogger food iz GREEN (but da Kat Fud iz not??Huh??!) WHO DID DIS? LIKE WE DON’T KNOW?” NEWCOMERS to Hevvin are saying: ”WTH IZ dis -- da FUN HOWSS??” MEENWILE…..
FIVE LEAF KLOVIRZ start RAINING down from abuv, and EVERYWUN looks up!! A Phat Phuzzy White Creechur waring a beanie wif a rotating propeller on it is flote-ing above their hedds and flinging FIVE LEAF CLOVERS into the air!! Summa dem clovers break on impact and da creechur sez “Ooops! I didn’t put enuff GLOO on those clover leafs!!!”
Hands REECH to grab hur – but BBBT WHOOOSHES herself away and find herself on….
FIFTH ABEN-MEW in Mew York City! And peepul are CHEERING as she flotes above da crowd wif her propeller beanie! “Iz dis da Macys Parade?” sez a buncha Liddle Voyssiz. BBBT flotes abuve da WHOLE PARADE and soon she is full of green streamers and oops—wunna them gotted stuck in her beanie propeller and she softly FLUMPS to da grownd and is IMMEDIATELY surrownded by Admireres and well wishers!!
"Heer -- haba green bagel!“ sez one “MY home baked SODA BREAD!” sez annuder, “My speshul Corned beef and Cabbage and Taters!” sez annuder wun, and oh LOOK! A liddle Nonna comes up to BBBT and sez “Eh, MICIO! Mangia la Pizza Verde!” -- and BBBT is So happy EETING all dis wunnerful foodies as she iz smiling and purring and walking along da parade route!! A kind pigeon jentlee unravels da streamer from BBBT’s beanie propeller (“For my nest! For my baybees!” tweets da Pigeon, as she flies off, to go lay an aig or two in Herald Skware), and BBBT (slooowly, cuz she ated lots of foodies) rises into da air again – but HEAVENS!! St Pete sent owt summa dem liddle PHAT angels wif Tiny wings to “FIND DAT RAPSCALLION BBBT!”, and THEY JUST…DID!
Da Crowd goze WIIILD!! “The SAINTS BE PRAISED —the ANGELS hab BIZITED US!! (with a …hairy SHMOO??)“ They yell wif JOY, as they spy these cherubs and BBBT!! Meanwhile BBBT, surrowndid by dem Phat liddle angels, reluktantly slowly flotes back into da sky to await her stern talking-to in Hevvin—does she care? No!! Espeshally sinss dem angels, who hab just passed Times Square with all its joys and temptayshuns NOW decide to take a detooor and check things owt _”Thank YOO, BBBT! “ they yell as they LEAVE HER to flote bakk to her parade!! Their liddle voices trail off as they yell to her - “OBOY! OBOY!! Da Wirld and da Flesh and …. oooops – hey BBBT -- Doan’t tell St Pete! AND Doan worry – we NEVER FOWND YOO!“ and so….
Dem Liddle Phat Cherubs flote towards temptayshun…and hoo are we to say anything!! BBBT, hoo knows it wudd be best to get bakk to Hevvin LONG AFTER everywun has digested their brekkfist – smiles, purrs and flotes back to da Parade. And as da Phat Phuzzy White Creechur flotes happily down 5th Avenue, we heer her say “I wish Meowmie wuz heer!!” Meenwile,Meowmie has wokin up from a plezzint dreem to find some 5 leef clovers on her pillow. “Hmmm….. Did Cee Cee pewk??? Hey Cee Cee—did YOO do dis?” she sez……
HAPPY ST. PATTYS DAY EVERYWUN!!!
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