April 16th 2011 4:43 pm
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*takes a bow and slips out a piece of paper with a speech written on it*
Thank you diary gal for honouring me with ddp 3 times this week. I would also like to thank, my fur mom for raising me well and my human mom for feeding me well. *sniff* all my friends and fans, I couldnt do this without you. *wipes tear away* Thank you to my stylist for making me look so handsome. *raises a paws in the air* I wish for world peace *sniff, sniff* all the cats in the world unite. *takes another bow* thank you, thank you all * blows kisses*
The weather here wasnt much better than yesterday, except it was dry. I thought I would spend some time reading some diary's. Theres a lot of kitties out there that need our purrs, so start purring guys.
There are also a lot of kitties worried about their weight or flabby belly. Now let me tell you, there is nothing wrong with a bit of a flabby belly, all cats should have one. Do you know why??? Because its your MOUSE POUCH! you are supposed to have a mouse pouch, where else would you put your mouses? Think about it!!! So no more worrying please, there is enough to worry about in this world already.
Some more jokes, just for The Catfather ( i bet he has a mouse pouch!)
What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck? A duck filled fatty puss!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew.
What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons? A sour puss!
What do you call a cat wearing shoes? Puss in boots!
What do you call a loving cat bite? Cat nip!
What do you call kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner? Chain litter.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
What do you do with a blue Burmese? Try and cheer it up a bit!
What do you get if cross a cat with a canary? Shredded tweet!
What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese? A Peking Tom!
What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla? An animal that puts you out a night!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? A sourpuss!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary? A peeping tom!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? A cat-a-log!
What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? Santa Claws!
What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat? A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.
What do you say to your cat when you go out? Have a mice day!
What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.
Dont forget to do some serious purring.
April 15th 2011 4:01 pm
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It seems to be winter here again, its been dull, damp and cold. None of us have been out today, we stayed in snoozing all day. I didnt even go and check on sticky, I hope he's OK.
The twins were playing in a paper bag this evening and it looked fun so I joined in but I split the bag open so now it is just a piece of brown paper. I didn't mean to do it, I guess I am a little on the large size. Mom needs to get jumbo paper bags next time.
Heres some more jokes ( I know The Catfather Like them!!)
If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can't it jump through a three foot window? Because the window is closed.
If a cat is a flabby tabby, then what is a very small cat? An itty bitty kitty.
If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None! They were copy cats.
In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest? When it's raining cats and dogs!
In which month do cats meow the least? February - it's the shortest month.
Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you? That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse.
On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!
What cat purrs more than any other? Purrsians!
What did one cat say to another? Have you heard the mews today!
What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!
What did the cat say when he lost all his money? I'm paw!
What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice? Don't you have a cat?
What did the mouse say when the cat bit his tail? That's the end of me!
What do baby cats wear? Dia-purrs!
What do cat actors say on stage? Tabby or not tabby!
What do cats like best on a hot day? Mice cream!
What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
What do cats read in the morning? Mewspapers!
What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.
Be safe kitties!
April 14th 2011 3:33 pm
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WOW, I am a daily diary pick again. I am truly honoured.
Thank you all for the comments and gifts, they meant a lot to mom and myself and brought more tears to moms eyes. Thank you again.
Moms job is hard, she dosnt think of herself as anyone special, just someone that does her job and is lucky to work with such wonderful animals as heart breaking as it is, she wouldnt have it any other way and she would not let any cat down by not being there at the end and always makes sure she is, even on a day off. The love is too strong.
We were all good last night, in fact mom couldn't move for us, we were stuck to her like glue.
This morning was wet again, yeuk! What happen to our lovely spring sunshine? maybe it will be back tomorrow, paws crossed.
Its not been a very good day again. Mom checked on the chipmunks this morning and found one injured and being picked on. She immediately took it out and cleaned him up, wrapped in a fleece and put him in the airing cupboard to keep him warm. She has been checking on him all day and giving him water but he passed away a short while ago. Shock must have got to him. We have no idea why he was being picked on as it has never happened before, maybe he had an underlying problem. Another one gone to rainbow bridge.
Well, I think its time for a chuckle or groan. We certainly can do with it.
Can a cat play patty-cake? Pawsibly!
Can anything be smarter than a cat that can count? Yes, a spelling bee!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
How do cats eat spaghetti? The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!
How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She's got that down in the mouth look!
How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? They never cry over spilt milk!
How do you know when your cat has been using your computer? When your mouse has teeth marks on it!
How do you spell cat backwards? C-A-T-B-A-C-K-W-A-R-D-S!
How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters? C-A-T!
How do you stop a ten-pound parrot from talking too much? Buy a twenty-pound cat!
How does a cat count? One, mew, three!
How does a cat sing scales? Do-ri-me-ow!
How does the cat get its own way? With friendly purrsuasion.
How is a cat laying down like a coin? Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.
Hope you all have had a great day.
April 13th 2011 3:43 pm
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We must of had a house full of aliens last night because Thai and Cairo were going mad, and they seem to go on for hours. I hardly got a wink of sleep!
This morning we all waiting at the door to go out, mom opened the door, we all rushed out and before she had time to shut the door, we all rushed in again....why?.....It was raining, we don't do rain. We might shrink!!!
Mom got a phone call late morning, she had to go to work.
As some of you know, mom works at a sanctuary for elderly and term ill animals, she works with the cats.
She got called in because it was time to say goodbye to one of the cats that mom has worked with for over 4 years. She left soon after the phone call to go and spend some time with 'Holly' before the vet got there. Holly was a very sweet cat, that never hissed or growled at any one. She greeted mom with a little meow today, but mom said her eyes were dull and sad, which broke moms heart. Holly had a very fast growing tumour in her mouth. She will be missed as she was always pottering around or demanding food. Mom is very upset tonight and I know that she wonders how many times she can go through this, but she will as the cats at the sanctuary are her 2nd family and she loves each and everyone of them. Another angel at the bridge.
Time for something to make us smile.
How Many Cats Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?
Persian: "Light bulb? What light bulb?"
Somali: "The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're worrying about a burned out light bulb?"
Norwegian Forest Cat: "Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to date, too."
Cornish Rex: "Hey Guys, I've found the switch."
Sphynx: "Turn it back on again, I'm cold."
Singapura: "I'll just blow in the other cat's ear and he'll do it."
Siamese: "Make me!"
Birman: "Puh-leeez, dahling. I have servants for that kind of thing."
Maine Coon: "Oh, me, me! Pleeeeeeaze let me change the light bulb! Can I, huh? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?"
Exotic: "Let the other cat do it. You can feed me while he's busy."
Manx: "Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark."
Russian Blue: "While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch."
Korat: "Korats are not afraid of the dark."
British shorthair: "Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I ate was a light bulb?"
Turkish Angora: "You need light to see?"
American Shorthair: "None, catnap time is too precious to waste!"
Hope that made you smile.
April 12th 2011 3:21 pm
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Thank you to who ever had the sun yesterday, we got it back today and I got to snooze in the sun.
On a more serious note, I would like to pass on to you something that happened to mom.
this is mom writing this -
" I have been stupid but it has taught me to pay more attention to what I buy.
A while back I brought some febreeze spray, dont know why i brought it as i dont use that sort of stuff around the cats. It got put to the back of the cupboard and forgotten about, until yesterday. I sorted out some stuff from the loft to go to charity and it was too much to freshen up in the washing machine so I hung it outside, I then remembered the febreeze. So off i went and dug it out. I was outside and thank god, no cats were with me. I was spraying the clothes and some of the spray must of drifted onto my face but didnt notice at the time.
A couple hours later I felt awful, my eyes felt gritty, headaches and the skin on my face felt tight. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, my face had swelled up!!!!! I looked awful, I couldnt see my eyelids, my eyes looked like they had sunk into my head. I washed my face and went and took a anti histamine. My face has mostly gone down now but what on earth goes into these products?
I am just so glad that I never use these things around my cats. I always warn people off using stuff like this and there I go and do the opposite. For that moment I didn't think and I have paid for it.
I have researched on the web and apparently it is safe for use round cats and dogs, but what you have to ask yourself is....is it worth risking my cats health, what if your cat is one of the unfortunate ones who can have an allergy to this.
How many owners use this stuff whos pets have unexplained skin irritation or sores or worse?
I would say, its NOT worth the risk. What is more, its made by P&G, need I say more!"
Moms face looks normal now, but she says it feels prickly and uncomfortable and she still has a headache. Please, think of us cats when you use stuff like this.
On a lighter note....
gakk-ak-ak - My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.
mow - Snuggling is a good idea.
moww - Shedding is pretty good, too.
mowww! - I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.
mroow - I have forced my body into a tiny space in order to look cute. How'm I doin?
Miaow! Miaow! - I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.
Mraakk! - Oh, small bird! Please come over here.
ssssRoww! - I believe that I have found a woodchuck or similar small animal. I shall now act terribly brave.
mmmrowmmm - It is certain that the best tasting fish is one you have caught yourself.
mmmmmmm - If I sit in the sunshine for another hour or so, I think I shall be satisfied.
Mreoaw - Please ask room service to send up another can of tunafish.
Mreeeow - Do you serve catnip with that?
Miaooww! Mriaow! - Since you are using the can opener, I am certain that you understand the value of a well-fed and pampered cat. Please continue.
Mrrrrrrrrrrroooooooww - Hold me, I am tired
April 11th 2011 3:22 pm
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Who stole our sun, paws up!
I know one of you has it and I want it back.
Its been dull and windy and I am not impressed. I happily went out to play with sticky and I nearly got blown of my paws and that is easily done, I only have 3 of them.
Me, Boo, Tilly and Ziggy have been in and out all day and driving mom mad. Fox came out to join us but ran back in again and went upstairs for the rest of the day.
The amount of times we had to shout to get back in and then we would decide its not that bad out there and shout to go out again. I think mom decided to pretend not to understand what we wanted in the end, because she stopped letting us out.
May be its time for some lessons!!!!!
miaowbu - Feed me.
meeow - Pet me.
mrooww - I love you.
Miioo-oo-oo - I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.
mrow - I feel like making noise.
rrrow-mawww - Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.
rrrow-miawww - I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.
miaowmiaow - Play with me.
Miaowmioaw - Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?
mmeww - I believe I have heard a burglar. If you would like to go and beat him senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in the bed warm.
mioawmioaw - Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.
raowwwww - I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.
mrowwwww - I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.
Roww-maww-roww - I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.
I will list some more tomorrow, I have to go pester my mom.
April 10th 2011 3:57 pm
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Last night I tried something new.......pillow hogging!!!!
It was fun for a while, you really should try it and see where you can stick yours paws, in your moms ear, mouth and up the nose and then gently lay your tail just under their nose, it drives them mad, mol. After a while I got bored, my paws kept getting tangled in moms hair and mom started taking over the pillow so I decided to go back to bed hogging, less hassle when you want to sleep.
Today has been soooooo sunny and sooooo warm, I have been basking in the sun most of the day and mom came out and cleaned up the garden a bit, boo, Tilly and Ziggy came out. Boo and Ziggy kept racing around trying to catch flies, its been one great day.
You will be pleased to hear that sticky is still in one piece and he is tucked up safe for the night.
Symptoms: Varied: sucking at clothing, owner's earlobes/ nose/fingers/skin, drooling, glazed expression. Often accompanied by kneading and high volume purring.
Treatment: Ultimately incurable. It is possible to remove smurglable items from around the cat. The ailment may be transmitted to humans in the form of large laundry bills, misshapen clothing and chapped skin.
NONSPECIFIC INSECT INFESTATION (also NONSPECIFIC SPIDER INFESTATION)
Symptoms: A disorder more prevalent among outdoor-going cats and cats with access to conservatories and garden rooms. Symptoms range from minor (the odd greenfly in tail, money-spider on fur) to severe (entire ecosystems of insects living on cat, spider webs spun between ears/whiskers, cat so weighed down with spider webs that it has difficulty walking).
Treatment: Minor symptoms can be treated by simply removing the infesting agent (aphid, ladybug, spider, etc.) and combing webs out of fur. If the cat suffers recurrent or severe symptoms an exercise regime is highly recommended since highly mobile cats appear to attract fewer greenfly (research into this factor continues).
Hope every cat has had a good sunday.
April 9th 2011 4:03 pm
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I am so honoured to be a catster daily diary pick, thank you, and along side my friend Kringle. Thats a poke in the eye for Blizzard, aka The Catfather, MOL.
Since mom has been off work sick, I have been able to spend more time on catster and really getting to know it.
We have made so many great friends on here and I thank you all.
Thank you for all the gifts and comments, it means so much to me.
While hiding under the covers last night, I panicked, I had left my favourite toy outside!!!! You remember my stick I caught during the week? What if the Catfather found it??? I was worried I might wake up to find my sticks head in my bed....arrghh!!!
I was worried to open my eyes this morning, but there was nothing in my bed and I rushed outside to go find sticky.....he was OK and in one piece. The Catfather probably wasn't allowed to fly over here, those claws are probably classed as banned.
Its been another sunny day and quite warm, I have been out lying in the sun and playing with sticky.
Mom says I have to tell you I wet the bed.....*blushes*. and it was on dads side of the bed, accidents happen, what more can I say.
LAP FUNGUS DISORDER
Symptoms: Having taken over a human lap, the cat proceeds to spread in all planes. This may be accompanied by secondary symptoms such as high volume purring, dribbling, kneading and snoring. The condition is highly contagious and several fungoid cats may infest a lap simultaneously.
Treatment: Topical treatment with proprietary anti-fungals is ineffective. Prompt treatment (as per Irritable Lap Syndrome) is required to alleviate the worst symptoms although in a number of cats, such treatment actually exasperates the condition. This disorder manifests itself periodically through the affected cat's life and there is no long-term cure.
IRRITABLE LAP SYNDROME
Symptoms: The cat appears unable to settle comfortably on laps, instead treading, kneading, rearranging itself, fidgeting, vocalizing, getting up and turning around, falling off lap and getting back on again, attacking magazines, needlework, computer keyboard, telephone, etc.
Treatment: Immediate treatment is essential. Drop whatever you are doing (literally if need be) and give 100% attention to the sufferer otherwise symptoms may escalate and become quite distressing to the lap-owner. Only prolonged attention will cure an attack of Irritable Lap Syndrome. Like Collapsible Legs this syndrome is incurable, although attacks may be effectively treated as and when they occur.
Thank you all for reading my diary, I am glad you enjoy it.
April 8th 2011 4:40 pm
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Its another sad day on Catster to day as we say goodbye to another friend, Apollo.
IF IT SHOULD BE ....
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done
For this, the last battle, can’t be won.
You will be sad, I understand
Don’t let your grief then stay your hand
For this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship stand the test.
We’ve had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You’d not want me to suffer so
When the time comes, please let me go
I know in time you will see
It is a kindness you do to me
Although my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don’t grieve it should be you
Who has to decide this thing to do
We’ve been so close – we two these years
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
Our love and purrs are with Apollo and his family.
I have been a naughty boy today........well me and two other culprits!
Mom got up as usual and came down to make a cup of tea and when she looked out of the kitchen window, what did she see??????
Me, Boo and Tilly out in the back garden!!
I was desperate to go out in the sun so I tried to go out the cat flappy thing but it was locked, but I wasn't going to let that stop me.......I broke the cat flappy thing, whoops. I went out through it (well the damage was done, may as well make the most of it), next thing I know is that Boo and Tilly followed me. Mom was not happy, she got us all in and mended the flappy thing, as best she could.
But we had fun while we were out, but now we are grounded, how old does she think we are to ground us, we are not a kittens any more!!
April 7th 2011 4:24 pm
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Sun, sun, sun and more sun. I have been warming my belly out in the sun again today, check out my tripod in the sun pics that mom took today. I think mom got my best side, MOL.
No visits from the aliens last night but a lot of bed hogging going on.
Well it looks like there are some new and VERY contagious feline Ailments out there, and it looks like a lot of catsters have got them.
Symptoms: The affected cat places one side of its head on the ground as though cheek-marking the concrete, carpet, etc. After several such maneuvers, the legs on that side of the cat suddenly collapse, leaving the cat waggling its feet in the air.
Treatment: This involves placing the palm of one hand on the exposed belly and rubbing gently. There are side-effects though some feline sufferers attack the rubbing hand while others recover spontaneously, often after prolonged treatment. This condition is probably incurable and any cat which requires prolonged treatment after an attack will most likely suffer repeated attacks of collapsible legs throughout its lifetime.
Symptoms: The affected cat repeatedly headbutts any available part of a readily available human and turns its head slightly so that the lips and cheek are rubbed against legs, arms, clothing, etc. This condition gets its name from a contraction of the phrase "soggy nudging." Snudging may well be a form of excessive scent-marking. A bad attack can result in soggy clothing.
Treatment: Give the sufferer lavish affection. Most attacks subside between 10 minutes to 1 hour after onset of symptoms. You may need to dry off snudged clothing or skin. Attacks recur frequently, usually when the most readily available human is engrossed in a TV program, book or telephone call.
Any one suffer from these ailments.
We might have to set up a support group.
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