‘Twas the Night before Christmas: Catster Style!


By pawpular demand, we’re re-running The Cat’s Meow’s version of “‘Twas the Night before Christmas.” We hope that Santa is good to all you Catsters, even Newman!

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all across Catster
Not a kitty was stirring, not even a ratster.
The Olde Furts were nappin’, the Strollers were parked.
Every pee spot was sniffed out and thoroughly marked.

But at Catster HQ, there arose such a clatter,
TR sprang from his desk to see what was the matter.
He ran to the window and looked through the fog,
And he mumbled in wonder, “Fur the love of dog!”

For the moonlight revealed thru the fog’s gentle glow
A brilliant green blimp with the Catster logo.
It circled the block and set down on the street —
Expertly maneuvered at Ted Rheingold’s feet.

TR squinted to see who was at the controls —
‘Twas an elfin albino with ears like a troll’s.
“Could it be?” he was wondering, when doubt was erased:
Skeezix shouted, “Hop in Ted! We’ve no time to waste!”

“We’re gonna spread cheer on this Christmas Eve night,
And we won’t come back home till the dawn’s early light.
I hope you like eggnog; I’ve stocked up the bar,
And this baby’s got turbo: we’ll fly pretty far!”

TR stopped for a moment to tweet all his plans,
Then he jumped in the front seat and shook Skeezy’s hand.
Skeezix gave him a green hat and t-neck to wear
And watched as he dressed without messing his hair.

Skeezix said, “We’ll give presents to all of our members,
But be careful with chimneys: remember the embers.
Cuz unless you have panties that won’t catch on fire
The front door’s a much safer entry by far.”

So the green Catster blimp stopped at every cat’s house,
Each got zealies or catnip or even a mouse.
They stopped at the shelters and brought those cats cheer:
Bags of cat food and tuna, and catnip reindeer.

They fed all the ferals, and preached about neutering
Though most alley cats don’t care too much for that tutoring.
They had scant little time, and they had to be quick,
Skeezix pressed on the turbo and shifted the stick.

Once they hit the East Coast they flew over the pond
To see all the Brit cats, and French, and beyond.
They headed toward daybreak, to Chad and Taiwan
And to Sidney and Christchurch — they flew on and on.

Catster Blimp tracking courtesy of NORAD

It was long into Christmas when their work was complete.
Skeezix pulled up to HQ and parked on the street.
“Thank you, boss,” he said warmly, “for inventing the site,
That makes cats worldwide happy — adios and good night!”

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from The Cat’s Meow!

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