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Hey evrybuddy, Skeezix heer. As many of yoo know, da grate Jeter Harris spends evry New Yeer’s in Times Sqware with his best frend Reebok and thare galcatpal, Madison. I was lucky enuf to score an interview with Jeter this morning — and he happily accommodated me despite having a big toona joose hangover.
JETER HARRIS: reeb an i hav been celebratin noo yeerz eve since 2006. he haz been kind enuff to make da trip to timez skware. how did da tradishun begin? i dunno it jus did. (i remember da furst yeer we were warin leis! it wuz reebz hawaiin theme dat yeer.)
SKEEZIX: You and Reebok live about 3000 miles apart…. how did you ever meet each other?
JETER HARRIS: reeb an i met eech udder on da catster. lookit him an den lookit me. hansum yes? i dunno (again) we jus started bein frendz an den, suddenly, like owtta noware, we became bes frendz. jus like dat! i keep askin an askin do u know da way to san jose? an i dont getta anser but he knowz da way to noo york
SKEEZIX: Does Madison always sellebrate with yoo, or is she a new addishun?
JETER HARRIS: in fact, mad wuz wid us dat verree furst yeer at timez skware in 2006. lookit her byootiful yes? three tabbiez in da city.
SKEEZIX: Does having a girlcat along cramp your stile?
JETER HARRIS: cramp owr stile? duhr. she met a sailor dis yeer i think maybe we cooda been crampin her style. (wutz cramp?)
SKEEZIX: What did the three of yoo do once you got to Times Sqware?
JETER HARRIS: well mad got dere furst to save us a seet an den she met da sailor (but datzza nudder story) den reeb picked me up becuz i hav been gfl*. wen we got to da city da furst thing we did wuz look fer bill an hillary clinton we were so eksited becuz were democatz den we started drinkin tuna juice an watchin all da crazy peepul wen da ball dropped an it wuz 2009, reeb an i head-bonked, fell to da grownd, an started wrestlin. it wuz verree eksitin. den, uv course, we laffed an laffed.
SKEEZIX: Sounds like a grate time! We all know about your reesint walkabout and your pleas to be freed from house arrest. Were yoo tempted, given this one-nite repreeve, to maybe not reetern home?
JETER HARRIS: well skeez, i am home. it wuz so c-o-l-d las nite i decided dat i wood put up wid dat kitten joba an stay warm. but i havta say, mi frend, itz hard to keep a former feral indoorz
SKEEZIX: Any Cats-Gone-Wild storeys yoo’d like to share about times you’v had too much toona juice in Times Sqware? Or does whut goze on in Times Sqware stay in Times Sqware?
JETER HARRIS: catz-gone-wild? harharhar! yes i hav sum storiez but mi mom will be reedin dis an i dont wanna disturb her
in udder nooz: i wanna thank u skeez fer yer grate collum. itz intrestin an informativ. an da grate food lady herself (va va va voom) izza good reed, too.
happy noo yeer to u an yerz an to all da grate catster catz may u stay in da green in 2009!
SKEEZIX: I’m glad yoo enjoy The Cat’s Meow, Jete! I coodn’t do it withowt the support of grate frends like yoo. And thanks fur taking the time — despite yer hangover — to do this interview. I heer that Hair of da Dog helps. Altho I don’t ixzaktly know whut yer supposed to do with the dog hairs once yoo get ’em.
(BTW, as most of yoo know, Jeter Harris is my spellin coach. Well, reesintly Jeter ternd me on to this grate software called Mikrosoft Werd, wich CHEKS YER SPELLIN FOR YOO! Unforchewnitly, Jeter pointed out to me that they haven’t gotten da bugs outta this software yet cuz evrything shows up underlined in red. I bet it will be amayzing once we can make da red underlines go away!)
* gfl: Grownded fur Life