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What Your Cat’s Water Bowl Says About You

The way you give your cat water means everything. ... Well, sort of. ... Okay, a little bit?

Michael Leaverton  |  Jan 29th 2013

The container that you use to provide water for your cat means so very much. It’s fraught with meaning, at least in the confines of this article. Let’s explore that.

Puddles on the patio

Look at you, going all survival-of-the-fittest on your cat. I like it. Actually, I don’t like it. You’re crazy. Why are you even looking at Catster? Shouldn’t you be littering in a park or throwing mud at cars like usual? Somebody should take those cats away from you.

Any old plastic thing you found somewhere

We’ve all been there, using the cheapest, crappiest thing in the world give our cat fluids. (Okay, maybe some of us have been there.) At least it’s not a used takeout container — ah, it is a takeout container? I see. Well, don’t beat yourself up. You probably haven’t even realized that the pimples all over your cat’s chin are due to the microscopic holes in plastic that harbor bacteria, but hey, that’s high-level cat awareness. You’re still learning. At least you know a cat needs water. You’re on the right track.

Stainless or ceramic bowl

You’ve figured it all out, haven’t you? Yeah, you’re doing fine. Don’t be so smug about it.

Glass on the nightstand

Hello! Did I wake you? You were up pretty late last night, huh? Hey, I have a question: Did you know you have a cat? Because that water glass you fill up hugely before you pass out is steadily drunk throughout the day by the cat, your cat, and then … isn’t it also drunk by you? Isn’t it finished by you?

You might want to start paying attention to your world a little more.

Water from the faucet

Ah, look what we have here. The cat won. You were bested by a cat. You might have fought bravely, but look at you now, running to turn on the faucet every time Peppers so much as glances toward the bathroom. And so the cat has trained his human. And so the owned has become the owner. What’s next, sparrows from the pet store? It’s time to regroup. It’s time to take a stand. It’s time to buy a pet fountain and be done with it.

Pet fountain

Congratulations! You have a small water feature on the floor of your kitchen for the cat to drink from. What a world. Admittedly, you find the tinkling soothing, the drip-drip-dripping brighting an otherwise drab day. Sometimes you lie on the floor next to it and imagine you’re in the French Rivera, while the cat sits on your stomach, wondering what the hell you are up to again.

A better pet fountain

Of course, once you laid out the cash for a pet fountain, you stood back and took a look at it and said, “What the hell? Is that plastic?” It sure is, you idiot. There’s nothing like a powder blue plastic pet fountain to sink the kitchen into a profound depression. Fortunately, they make these in ceramic and stainless steel (acne, remember?). If you’re a madman, you’ll find one made out of granite, and make your cat feel like a LION. Put that in your kitchen, and he’ll regularly place his paw in your hand in gratitude. If he won’t, I will. Someone should. Ask your mailman to.

The toilet?

Really? You’re doing this? And the cat is playing ball? But I wonder: Does your cat know exactly what goes on in your toilet? Is she up on the particulars? Because if she hasn’t yet sat on the sink and watched you do your business intently, getting versed in all the goings on down there, then I suggest you get her up to speed asap. And then I suggest you sleep in a hotel for the rest of the month.