8 Valentine’s Day Candy Hearts as Translated by Cats


Ah, candy hearts: that sugar-flavored-cardboard taste and the treacly phrases stamped on them bring back memories of grade school Valentine’s Day parties. Thankfully, when cats exchange candy hearts, they’re not doing so just because their teachers told them they should share with all the kids in the class. Of course, their interpretation of the sentiments expressed on those wretched little niblets is quite a bit different from ours. Here are a few examples.

1. Be Mine

There’s nothing sweet about this sentiment in cat-ville!

2. Too Cool

In the cat world, this has nothing to do with the awesomeness of the other individual.

3. Hottie

Conversely, this heart has more than one meaning, including one that sort of approaches the human interpretation.

4. All Mine

‘Nuff said.

5. My Love

Sometimes it’s just not about you.

6. My Hero

But then again, sometimes it is. This little heart is dedicated to everyone who rescues and adopts.

7. Ask Me

The shelter cat’s plea: Ask me … to come home with you!

8. Let’s Kiss

And sometimes those little hearts mean exactly the same thing in kitty-talk as they do in human-talk. It’s just adorable when cats reach this stage in their relationship.

If your cats gave out Valentine hearts, what would they say and who would they give them to? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Laugh with us:

About JaneA Kelley: Punk-rock cat mom, science nerd, animal shelter volunteer, and all-around geek with a passion for bad puns, intelligent conversation, and role-play adventure games. She gratefully and gracefully accepts her status as chief cat slave for her family of feline bloggers, who have been writing their cat advice column, Paws and Effect, since 2003. JaneA dreams of making a great living out of her love for cats.

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