7 Things That Help Me Cope with Grief After Losing a Cat

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Losing a cat is excruciating. In fact, I’m going through it and grieving as I write this. I think the loss of a pet and the grief process that follows is one of the hardest, most intense experiences we have to get through.

It’s not easy to prepare for grief, as each end-of-life journey is different. That being said, I’ve been through this a few times and have discovered that I do certain things to help me cope with losing a cat. Hopefully, some of these suggestions can help you navigate the grief process after the loss of a pet.

1. I celebrate the cat’s (whole) life

At the end of life, whether it’s prolonged or sudden, it’s easy to get caught up in the sadness and intensity of that current moment. Sometimes, when I’ve found myself in this place, I realize I’m not honoring the rest of the cat’s life. What about the amazing years or months I had with the cat? What about the funny things my cat did? Or the loving bond we had? What about the wonderful memories and stories of the cat? I try to focus on the life I’ve shared with the cat, even though it’s very easy to want to focus totally on the end of life.

A cat dressed up and being silly in a basket.

2. I find people who understand what losing a cat is like

Whether your cat has passed on or is likely to pass on soon, obviously you’ll want to be around people who understand. Now is not the time to take comments like “it’s only a cat” to heart. If you do run across someone who says something like this, try to breathe and let it go. You need your energy to get through grieving, not to get mad about ill-placed comments.

Instead, find people who understand and are respectful of your loss of a pet and the grief process, whether they love cats or not. A compassionate person and friend will give you the space and respect your need to grieve.

Two older cats hanging out together.

3. I take time to be alone, if I need it

Some of us like to share; others are intensely vulnerable when going through grief. I’m a little of both. Know yourself. If you need to be alone, honor that. It’s OK.

4. I understand that loss of a pet and grief is a powerful process

Sometimes, grief reminds me of the waves of an ocean. You’re feeling fine and then WHAM, some piece of grief hits you and you’re down, or crying, or both. I’m not sure why it is, but just knowing that this happens has made me prepared for when it happens again. I try to flow with it. Everyone grieves differently. We all grieve in our own time, and in our own way. Let it happen the way it needs to happen for you.

An orange and white cat hangs out on the beach in the sun.

5. I breathe (deeply)

This is a yoga tool, but it’s also a relaxation technique, which anyone can do. When you’re exhausted from stress or grieving, breathing deeply through your nose can really help relax you and restore your mind and body to a state of calmness. Even a minute or two of this has great benefits. I do this all the time during periods of stress, or if I’m grieiving the loss of a pet. From a physiological standpoint, this activates your parasympathetic nervous system (which induces relaxation) rather than your sympathetic nervous system (which is all about fight or flight). Try breathing deeply in any stressful situation or any time you find yourself holding your breath.

6. I’m good to myself and my body

I’m no good to my cats if I’m a mess. So even though it’s hard (grief is exhausting), I try to remember to be good to my body. I try to remember to eat good stuff (not junk), get outside, exercise, breathe — all good things for me. Find the good things for you and remember to do them.

A cat on a pier.

7. I honor the immensity of grief

It’s a big deal, and we all get to go through it. The sadness in grief is huge, but strangely, so is the joy. Celebrate these wonderful creatures we love, whether we’re going through life with them or whether we’re letting them go.

Read more about losing a cat and handling grief:

461 thoughts on “7 Things That Help Me Cope with Grief After Losing a Cat”

  1. On Wednesday night, December 13th, my sweet boy Raphael (RAFFY) died after battling lymphoma for 9 months. He was only 9 years old. I was trying to save him. i love him and I miss him. I feel guilty that i did not have him euthanized because looking back i am afraid he was in pain and i did not realize it. I just could not accept he would die and I kept praying and working with him to eat, rest and take his medications. But in the end, all of the love i gave to him didnt win, cancer did. I feel guilty that his last moments were tragic and scary with labored breathing and spasms.. and I relive them over and over in my head. Why did I not take him to the vet? I could not find it in my heart to end things but looking back it was selfish of me. His suffering was my fault. I am in a pit of grief and despair and he took my heart when he left us. I just feel so guilty and sad….its overwhelming.

    1. I am so sorry Bridget. This just happened to you, so my heart goes out to you. I too will be facing this tough decision. My beautiful girl Heidi is 19 and the end is near. She has been sick for about 4 years with IBD and other issues. Since Oct. 2017 everything changed and I knew she would not get well. It is now 10 weeks later and she is worse. And I don’t know what to do. I brought her to the vet today and she meowed softly in the carrier. The thought of bringing her to be put down and her meowing is so heart wrenching that I just can’t do it yet. But a “natural” death at home does not sound much better. I want her to make it to Christmas at least, but I am heart sick over the thought of her being gone forever. And I certainly don’t know what to do about the decision.

      1. Hi Joanne, I can sympathise with your decision, it is the hardest one I had to make. I lost my little cat Benson aged 20, (17 years together), in August. He had kidney disease and he had in the end issues with breathing which we think was related to a tumour now as his blood results were fine. Anyway, I watched his being uncomfortable, mouth breathing at times, making noizes and generally feeling miserable. I slept with him and nursed him. Had 5 days of pain myself watching it. I really never wanted to let him go but the pain of seeing him suffer was too much for me and You will know when the time comes. You will be faced with the decision. Watch your cat suffer or let them go. Its incredibly difficult. I wouldnt want a really painful end for myself so I wouldnt let my cat have one either. But its not easy. We paid extra and got the vet to come to our home to put our cat to sleep. It was better than taking him there and leaving him. You should think about this. Think in advance. Still wating for them to come to my home and effectively kill my baby cat was SO SO hard. We then took him to a private crematorium (this helped us alot). I still miss my baby Benson and before he got really ill we got professional photos taken and enlarged one and he is now on my living room wall looking down on us. A fitting tribute. Take Care. My thoughts are with you. Tess

    2. My cat died in June and I am still grieving. He had Diabetes. I couldn’t bring myself to put him to sleep even though he was suffering. I loved him so much. I finally did take him to the vet to have him put to sleep. He was my soul mate. I still grieve and cry for him.

  2. Friday 8th Dec 2017. Our cat Scooter had been suffering fluid on the lungs. But we had been treating him with pill and powders nd that week it looked like he was getting better, until I noticed his breathing took a slight turn on Thursday night. By Friday his breathing was as bad as it had been a few weeks earlier. I was upset and angry that he hasn’t taken to all of his pills the previous day, but I knew we had a vet appointment On Faturday morning, and on this particular day it was a bank holiday and knowehre was open. So I turned up the heating to keep him warm, and hoovered up to make sure the air was a clean as it could be. Then I made the mistake of leaving him to rest.

    When I returned a couple of hours later he was struggling to take in any air. He took himself to the balcony for air but it wasn’t working. He tried all of his spots such as the windowsill and finally the bed. I frantically called all the vets I could find but nowhere was open. I ran to get my neighbour who helped me call around. Finally we thought there was a little vets open in a neraby village. We urgently booked a taxi.

    Scooter was so scared, and called out for my help. I got him in the taxi, but as soon as we set off I knew it was too later. He died right next to me. I felt so horribly helpless. I wasn’t enough for him. I couldn’t help him.

    At around 5pm on a snowy winter’s day Scooter died by my side.

    He was so much more than a pet cat; he was my early morning alarm clock, my lap-warmer, the reason I had to sleep in such painful angles in bed. He was my co-worker, my gardening buddy, my DIY helper, my cuddly companion. And he was my best friend.

    Scooter you always made us smile, even on the lowest of days. You made our house a home. And you chose to make us your family.

    We love you Scoots, and we were never ready for you to leave us so suddenly.

    Sleep well buddy. I hope we meet again. Until then you’re always with me, sitting on my shoulder or purring on my lap x

  3. I’m not sure how to write this. Yesterday, as we were cooking, we all of a sudden hear a lot of noise and barking and banging against the front door. I open the door to see what’s going on, and 6 dogs are running around frantically in the front driveway. A guy is trying to control them, and I ask if he needs help. He says no, and with about 4 of the dogs now on a leash again he continues walking. I shout that he forgot a few, but he doesn’t stop. One of the dogs seems to have no interest in leaving, and shows more interest in a pile of leafs next to the driveway. I check and see my five year old rescue cat Mei laying there lifeless.

    We knew she had died, but rushed to the vet anyway.

    My friend who joined us on our journey from Barcelona to London. My friend who stalked us in the street when we went shopping. My friend who cheered so visibly when I returned from work. I miss you, and I can’t stop crying. I hope you are in peace now.

    Lots and lots of kisses,


    1. You need to file a report with the police about the guy and his dogs that killed your cat! They are dangerous, he isn’t controlling them and he/his dogs are responsible for the death of your beloved feline companion. This may not be politically correct, but I’d hunt him down and beat him with a ball bat horribly.

  4. This is hard to do but I’m a mess. After a great day of our normal activities my beautiful rescue cat of 9 years, “Stormy-Cat” passed away last night. We’d gone to bed, he was on his place beside me in bed, then I heard him make a little sound, {like an inverted sneeze?}. My youngest rescue cat Peanut knew something was wrong & he jumped up in his face. I picked Stormy up & his little tongue was out a little bit, his eyes were open but when I picked him up his head was limp already. I prayed & prayed for God to save him but there was nothing I could do, it happened so quickly, without warning. He was my shadow, everywhere I went in the house, he went. He knew by my movements what we were going to do. I recently lost my mom & I’m still in grief for her & when I cried he would come to me a lay down & lay his paw on my arm & head-butt me gently. When I’m on my knees praying, he was right there. I’ve lost pets before, my 17 year old Daschund, but he had gotten in very bad health & to stop his suffering the vet recommended putting him down. That was horrible but I knew he was in misery. My Stormy Cat was healthy & showed no signs of sickness. It could have been a blood clot, seizure, heart attack, I don’t know. I’m just thankful for the 9 years I was blessed to have him & he didn’t have to suffer. This morning when I woke up, what little sleep I got, I reached for him at his regular place & of course he wasn’t there. I’m a mess & my youngest rescue is absolutely lost. He’s looked all over my condo looking for him & I think even slept part of the night in Stormy’s place in the bed. All I can do is to pray, pray, pray for God to start healing my broken heart for this beautiful creature he had given me to care for on this earth. Thanks for allowing me to tell Stormy’s story.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss Judy ….that is heartbreaking. I just had to put my cat of over 17 years down Friday night and I am a mess. To lose your cat without any warning the way it happened to you is so sad. Try and do what I have been doing these last 30 hours…..cry when you need to……smile remembering the good times and the happiness you had with your cat and feel blessed for the joy your cat gave you and the fact you provided a great warm and loving home. God Bless.

  5. On Sunday Nov 19th, I had to say goodbye to my cat Mickey. Mickey was a rescue cat, and she gave my mom, brother and I 17 years of happiness. She had always been a cat to wold down her food, until Thursday when I noticed she didn’t touch her food. I tried to switch it up, but she wasn’t interested it. Mickey had the brightest eyes, and I saw she was just tired. She couldn’t look at anyone. When I took her to the vet, he said it was a good time as she wasn’t in any real pain yet. That was the most comforting thing I heard. The 3 days of watching her and just worrying was making me feel so guilty. It’s strange, I didn’t think I would be so upset considering her old age, but I was actually a mess. My family is now looking for another cat, and I think we’ll end up going with a completely different breed. I know my sweet girl is up in cat heaven and I will forever hold a place for her in my heart.

  6. I’m in a state of depression after my cat, almost 14 years old, died on May 10. It’s been 7 months since then and I’m looking for the answer to my questions. His health deteriorates slowly, I did not realize, I thought he had nothing. He wanted to eat wheat straw from a vase of flowers. It was winter and a lot of snow outside, I could not find grass. He vomited the water, I did not pay attention, the cats usually vomit. He drank a lot of water from the pot on the stove (desperately, though he had his bowl of fresh water) no longer sliding on the door handle to open it as usual, he did not grow up.
    I remember that he lost his voice.
    It seemed somewhat weird to me that he was not much in the house but in the porch, more than usual. I thought she was sitting in the sun.
    One day he climbed into the bridge where he urinated a lot, right above our bedroom. At first he was agitated and then he was apathetic, he was hiding, we were looking for him through the yard. She wanted to stay in my husband’s arms when he was at the computer. He did not get away from him anymore. When he took my husband in his arms, he desperately clung to him. He suddenly stopped eating his dry food (he ate only dry food). I bought a can of wet food, ate at the beginning for a few days, but then refused it too. When I opened the refrigerator he wanted something, I gave him some meat dishes, small small pieces, otherwise he did not eat. Then he also refused them. I gave him raw egg yolk, I never had. He only eaten once.
    I gave him olive oil thinking he was constipated. Then I added them to wet food. At one point he did not eat any canned food either. I do not remember if it happened since I put olive oil on it.
    One day I noticed that my mouth smelled bad. I administered a quarter of a 200 mg erythromycin pill (as bad as it seems to me!), Believing he had an infection. It was the only human antibiotic I knew was good for the cat. For 8 days, one quarter of a pill a day.
    He stood more outside, withdrawing, but not far from us. He followed us from his couch. At one point, I saw he was walking dizzy. He was so weak … He did not eat, he did not drink water.
    He went into the warehouse and did not want to go out. He retired, breathing with icnets. I found him in the tub. He did not answer when I called him He was not asleep, he simply stood, like he was waiting for the water to flow. It was wet, cold. I picked him up, wiped him off and made him a cow in the storehouse. I put water, food, milk, litter. He drank a little milk once. He did not use litter at all.
    Two days before he died, he climbed into the storehouse. He stood up, in the corner, looking at the nest of sparrows. It was cold but he only wanted to stay there. I took the litter, the water, and I laid it down there and I cover his body. He did not drink water, he did not use litter at all.
    I started to give it erythromycin, more often, a quarter of a pill from 6 to 6 hours. My cat was lying in the couch, breathing moaning. The last pills I gave them were: 9 May at 17:30, 23:30 and 10 May at 5:30. Every time we go up to him to give him the pill and give him (forced) some canned food, anoint his tongue with honey and blue methylene and 2 teaspoons of water.
    At 7:30 in the morning, I woke up and brought her home. I did not want him to die alone. I stuck a bottle of water and put it near him to warm up. I gave him two teaspoons of chamomile tea. My cat was stretched, lethargic, and she breathed with groans.
    By about 11 o’clock, my cat got down from the couch, dizzy. I took it easy and put it in the litter. He tried, instinctively, to dig the sand a little, but then he was under the armchair. In my desperate attempt to save him, I gave him a baby glycerin suppository. In a few seconds, Gigel, my beloved cat, began to scream painfully and then breathe agonistically. I cuddled him, being torn off by pain and we said good-bye.
    This is my story and my beloved cat. There have been 14 years in which we have never separated, we were together day and night and feel guilty of his death. Guilt does not give me peace. I cry every day, I’m sorry I did not go to a doctor. In my locality we do not have a veterinarian. I’m not a poor man, but I can not afford expensive treatments either. I’m sorry I did not find out what she had, where I was wrong, if I killed him out of my stupidity.
    In April I put flea drops, somewhere on his neck, not to lick. The insecticide had 100 mg / l of fipronil and 2.5 g / l of tetramethrin. I think this has triggered his death and I became anxious and depressed. My husband says he was sick for about four months, that he was weakened a long time ago. He was never too fat. One evening, when he stood on my husband chest, he dropped his head.
    I have some neighbors I suspect they poisoned him.
    My head is chaos. Since then, for 7 months, I can not concentrate on work, I’m looking for explanations everyday. I feel so guilty!
    Sorry for long posting but I felt the need to confess everything that happened.
    Thanks for your time to read. All the best. Dorina.

    1. HI Dorina
      I have also just lost my lovely little cat Spotty to a feline virus which is the cat equivalent of hiv A lot of free ranging cats develope this illness and there is no treatment. I had Spotty put to sleep 3 weeks ago.She was 9 and I loved her desperately. I am sure you did your best for your cat and must try to remember the good times.I also feel terrible but I know that Spotty is in a beautiful place now where I shall see her again one day.You must think the same because it is true.I wish you all the best.Dinah

      1. Dinah, I’m so sorry for your lost. I am near you with all my thoughts. Your beloved cat was so young! I’m sure you did what you needed to do for your darling Spotty does not go through suffering. You are a good pet owner for sure. I’m not.
        I would now give all my money to bring my cat back to me. I’m still in depression, life is so bad without Gigel. I’m guilty of his death and that’s not healing. My family is worried about me. I can not believe what I did. He has never had any health problems. It was a black cat saved from the street when he was about two weeks old. My heart hurts when I think . For 8 years he only lived indoor, inside the apartment and then we moved to the garden house.He had access outside when he wanted. He was so happy! I loved him enormously for 14 years and when he got sick I did not save him. I was not at the vet. I’m so sorry I can not sleep anymore, I can not work, I do not eat anymore, and I do not want anything. It’s been 7 months since his death and I’m still in pain. Guilt kills me. I do not think there’s anyone as stupid as me. I will always remember how bad our relationship has ended. I miss him so much … Forgive me my beloved Gigel!

  7. I lost my cat Andrew he was only seven. He meant so much to me I loved him so much and he me. It is so difficult. I try to remember the good times and fun we had, but that still just reminds me that he was taken away from us at such a young age. I do know that he would not want me to feel this way, so badly, for so long. It has been over one month now since he died and it still hurts; I just am not accommodating to this loss as I feel I should.

    1. Lost my cat today. Jones. She was only 6. Bad kidneys did for her. She was unique. I miss her already. It’s cut me as deeply as losing any other loved member of my family. I will mourn her and keep her in my heart. See you on the other side Jones …

    2. Hi Castor.I lost my little cat Spotty 3 weeks ago.She had fiv and I had to have her put to sleep.I feel awful and cry all the time.I’m not a lonely old woman I have a husband a lovely daughter and grandchildren, but I feel utterly devastated without my Spotty.She was also only 9.So what you are going through is quite normal.The ancient Egyptins believed that cats were gods and so very special.I feel so too.I’m sure that we will meet our pets again one day.All the best.Dinah

  8. I definitely feel a bit better knowing there are many people out there experiencing the loss of their special companion. My cat, Crystal, whom my family had adopted a month or two after my dad passed away 11 years ago, had to be euthanized on the 12th. I was told by the vet that she had congestive heart disease and kidney failure and was in pain as she could not breathe. They couldn’t operate on her unfortunately because doing so would damage the other organ. That thought really saddens me. I always hope that my pets die a natural, old death, but that can’t always be true. My brother and I were thinking of making a physical scrapbook of all of her photos and collecting her stuff to help honor her life. We were also thinking of writing down memories onto the scrapbook. For an example, I remember Crystal would love drinking water from my cup and one time knocked it over, spilling the water over an art book that I loved. Of course, I would never hate her for it, and the crinkled pages on the bottom will always remind me of that event.

  9. I had to put my cat Puma down Monday, he was 18 and a shelter cat. He was my crutch when my mom and then my dad past away. He would walk with me to the mail box everyday. People thought he was a small dog, they couldn’t belive he come on command and follow me.He died of a combanation of a tumor and viral infection that never cleared up. I am all alone now, I’m devistated, I can’t eat or sleep. I miss him so much, I don’t know what to do with myself now, I am so sad and depressed, the stories I read here are like mine, I know I’m not alone.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss. My cat used to walk with me, and saw me through divorce and difficult times. They are such special companions. I have shed tears reading the comments here, though my heart is warmed by all the love that is expressed. I was also totally and utterly devastated, and thought I could never bond with another, it was just too painful. Eventually I decided to foster rescue cats as I missed feline company. One of the first guests, a kitten, made a bee-line for my heart and was determined to stay with me. 11 years on her mum (I was too soft to split them up) is curled up at my feet as I write, and her daughter is downstairs. Two totally unique characters, equally loved, and utterly treasured. We have different, but just as strong bonds as I had with my beloved first cat. In time it gets easier to savour the happy memories, and the waves of grief still come, but get smaller and further apart. And in time maybe there will be a new companion or two…don’t hurry on this, they tend to find us when the time is right imho. There are so many in need of a loving human. We because we cared, and everyone grieves differently, so be gentle with yourself, and turn some of your nurturing ability on yourself if you can. It does get easier.

    2. Joe, my heart goes out to you. today we had to get the vet in to give our 18 year old girl her final injection. I am beyond sad. We buried her in the garden. She had the best death, as indeed she had the best life. Take care and look after yourself. There are so many of us out there.

    3. I completely understand. I had to put my ten year old cat down Tuesday the 14th… I have had her for sooo long, and she was everything to me. She was my best friend. I’m sad and in depression, I constantly cry on and off, and I wish, I just wish I could go back and relive our memories. My heart is broken, all I have been doing is going to sites like this because i am lost right now. Don’t feel alone, there is so many of us out there. We all understand. Hope goes out to you.

  10. We just lost our 20 year old Simba… he was such a good boy and a loving companion. He was a stray that we found as a kitten and he gave us much joy over the last two decades. He was failing, but yet was able to eat, play, and get by. But the worst type of tragedy occurred when our golden retriever Attacked and grabbed Him for no apparent reason. We believe it was food aggression or because of the illness that Simba had. We rushed him to the emergency clinic, but he had to be put down and found out he had Cancer was well. Did the dog sense this illness?Our dog and our cats always got along. It is only been two weeks, and I cannot shake the tragedy. I cannot get over that our good willed Golden would Do such a thing. I miss Simba and am trying to realize that he Didn’t have much time left, but the ending of his life was horrible. I had an awakening regarding dogs and cats and their relationship. I wouldn’t advise that the owners of both dogs and cats keep a close watch on their animals Especially regarding food or treats.

  11. Kristyn Rodriguez

    I lost my 5 week old kitten. She woke up sick. We took her to the vet..but when they took her in she had stopped breathing. They checked for her heartbeat but we had already lost her. She was my sunshine. Always rubbing herself against me so that i could wake up. You’re weird sleepy face when you woke up would always crack me up. The warmth you brought to my bed with your fluffy pink blanket.
    Now it’s empty. You could’ve lived longer. I would’ve tried giving you all the love you needed. Oh my poor sweet Daisy. With your soft white fur & those sky blue eyes. I wish i could hold you right now. It won’t be the same without you. I love you my Daisy. I’ll never forget you❤

    1. Hi Kristyn,

      I am sorry for your loss. Having lost my dear friend earlier this week I totally understand your pain. I wish I could turn time back, I wish I could do thinks differently but realisation comes now when it’s too late. Look after your memories – they cannot be taken away from us. Take care

      1. I just wanted to thank everyone for sharing their stories. I too have lost my precious little one this past Saturday and I am completely devastated. It came as a complete shock as she was so active just a couple days prior to her death.We noticed on Friday morning that she wasn’t very mobile and lost her appetite so we took her to the vet to get some tests and X-rays, but the results came back and we found out that she had number of issues with her lungs and kidneys. By Saturday she was literally immobile, but was able to find the strength to walk to our bedroom to look for us as she didn’t want to be alone. I’m still in disbelief as to how she was able to hide all or illness from us… Part of me feels that we failed her as we should have some how known to look for signs. I was battling with the difficult decision whether to euthanize her or not, but just seeing her on Saturday pretty much lifeless unable to move or have any control of her body functions I couldn’t see her suffer any longer and did the only thing that I could. At this point she hasn’t eaten in two days and I know it would be painful to just let her continue.

        It’s still hard to imagine my life without her as she has been there with me for the last 13 years. Thinking about all her mischief and love have helping me to cope in this difficult time.

        Will always love you Cole (Coco)

        1. Steve –
          I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. We know the pain – I can think that I was lucky that my baby girl was almost 17, but that just means she was such a big part of my life for so long that it’s in some ways harder to lose her. I’m sure you know what I mean. It’s been 2 months, and the beginning was pretty rough – but the advice in this article, and knowing that we’re not alone somehow managed to help. I think of Junior often, and probably always will, but it’s no longer as raw. I hope you find peace, and are able to concentrate on the happy and funny memories of your time together in order to mix a smile into the sadness you’re feeling.

    2. I am really sorry for all of your losses. I too have lost a 10 month old kitten to FIP. He was put down a couple of weeks ago and we are still grieving and missing him so much. R.I.P little Milo! You will never be fergotten and will be in our hearts forever!!!

  12. I have lost my beloved cat last Monday. I didn’t realised how much feelings I had towards him. It hit me hard, it hit me harder than I could possibly anticipated. He died of a sudden death (Grey was found in neighbour’s garden) – we don’t know what happened to him. I feel so much guilt that I could had been better to him when he was with us. I regret many things I had not done and had done – unfortunately it is too late to change things. I miss my dear friend, it’s only been few days since he’s gone but I sort of can’t accept he’s not there anymore, he won’t greet me when I come home from work, he won’t be annoyingly sitting on tv stand covering quarter of the telly while we would be watching it, and there won’t many other silly and heart-warming things that he used to bring to our lives. I miss my dear friend. I do hope I showed you my love during those years you were with us. I hope you felt loved, I hope you were happy as we were having you in our lives. Good bye my friend. Good bye Grey.

    1. Hi Zebik , I know exactly how you feel ,we take cats for granted thinking they will always be there and life gets in the way we’re always too busy and then disaster strikes and it’s too late our beloved kitty is gone ,oh what we wouldn’t give for one more stroke of the soft fur and to hear that purr ,but we do the best we can and just think if he hadn’t had you he may have had an awful life else where ,he loved you as you loved him one day you will see him again ,just try and think what he would say to you ,he would want you to remember the joy he gave you ,myself I never realised how much I loved my gorgeous maffery until he had gone and my heart is shattered and I am trying to piece it back together ,take care my fellow cat lover ,.

      1. Hi Vicky,

        I’m sorry for your loss and thank you for beautiful word that brought some tears to my eyes. I feel different today (better ?), sad, with lots of What if questions but also with some cheerful memories that my cat brought to our lives. Thanks for finding time to bring some understanding in this difficult time. Take care.

    2. Sorry to hear of your loss mate, your not on your own. I had to have my Buzz put to sleep yesterday after 17 years, loved him to bits, last night was hell without him sleeping on my bed, and today it just cracks me up every time I walk into my bedroom. He sat and watched me make the bed in a morning, and then put his blanket on top, he would then jump up and curl up and go to sleep. I just can’t stop sobbing today, and feeling sick all the time, how does one get past this ?

      1. Hi Trevor,

        I am sorry for your loss. I perfectly understand what you must feel right now. It is very difficult time, I’m struggling with understanding why it happened, why it happened to my cat etc It won’t bring him back but it is something I keep thinking about. I believe it hurts so much because we loved them so much, we loved not knowing how much. Take care Trevor and thanks for your words.

    3. Hi Zebik,

      I understand what you are going through and am really sorry for your loss.

      Our beautiful 20-year old tabby cat Bubble died of natural causes yesterday morning – we knew he was very old and frail and did not have long left, but I had no idea of how hard his death would hit me. I have been hit by waves of intense emotion and have found it hard to keep things together.

      Bubble was part of our family and has been there through thick and thin. He was a special cat with a big heart and I hope – like you, that our cats felt loved. I feel overwrought with guilt that towards the end I did not do enough. I think this is the worst thing. What I wouldn’t give to stroke him one more time and hear his purr. Death is just so finite – it’s so hard!!!! Sending you love xxx

      1. Hi Mik,

        I am sorry for your loss. We take so many things for granted even our furry friends that we share some hard to describe bond. I try to think of cheerful memories, remember all those trips together to the local grocery shop when my cat walked by my side and then wait outside the shop for me. All those crazy things he used to do. I loved him, I still do, I wish He could have been much longer in our lives. Take care Mik

    4. My baby was lost 3 days ago I was so worried thinking it’s not normal for her even though she was a cat that stayed out a lot something didn’t feel right, I was out looking for her for two days couldn’t sleep not knowing where she was hoping to open the the door and she would be there. The last look for her was a shock I found her in the bush near my home not knowing what had happened, I brought her home and buried her yesterday, I’ve never been through pain like this I can’t stop crying nothing feels right I can’t eat nor sleep I can’t look at a picture of her, people say it will get better but I can’t see how, I miss her so much love you my baby RIP

    5. hi there i read everyone storys of losing a beloved pet cat ,i have lost my cat tiddles on monday i saw her before i went to work she look up at me if to say goodbye and think she knew but my girlfriend i was worried about her so my family look in on her as she slept in my room and she had past i was so heartbroken as she been there every day she was such a loving cat and i do miss her,she had another owner before myself she was a rescue cat i thought to my serprise she was 17 when i contact her first vet they told me she was born in 1997 which would make her 20,so every day is difficult as she not there no more so its a big loss i had cats before but tiddles was more special and i miss her every day,

  13. I had to let my best friend, my little soul mate and confidante and co-conspirator go almost a month ago. She had been having a series of really bad neurological problems since 2017 began; I self-diagnosed her with dry FIP, even though six or seven doctors could not figure out what was wrong with her. She had nine out of the eleven major symptoms. Anyway, I wrote the following as a tribute/announcement on Facebook, because she had a huge following there and was even more popular than I am! I ache so badly now that she’s gone and have been through every stage – anger, frustration, doubt, guilt – all wrapped up in a nice big package of gut wrenching sorrow. I am getting used to the loss of the heart and soul of my house. I will one day adopt other cats; I decided years ago when I thought K was going to live to be sixteen or nineteen, that I would rescue senior cats, since they get the shortest end of the stick out of all pets. Anyway, here is what I wrote. Perhaps it may help others in doubt or sorrow…

    “I have no idea when you were born and I only have a vague idea of when you first came to my front door, but what I do know is that on the evening of Wednesday September 27th, 2017, around 9:10, I had to let you slip from my life.

    I saw when I got home from work that your condition was far worse and that there was no going back. So we lay on your favorite blanket under your orange tree in your beloved garden with the bright stars overhead as we had so many times before. Your kind and gentle doctor administered the solutions to your problems. I held your beautiful head and kissed your beautiful face and purred and sang to you, before my heart completely broke.

    Your doctor let me lie with you for a while, surrounded by the sweet song of crickets. Then we wrapped you in a Golden Fleece and I carried you to her car and told you, “Your chariot awaits my love.”

    I thank you, my very Special K, for keeping me in line these past eleven years. I love you more than all the kitties. I opened your little doorway in the front gate so your brave little soul could roam the night without fear of cars or raccoons or coyotes. I am so sorry I couldn’t keep you well, I’m so sorry my love. You have taken my heart with you, my sweet tiger. Someday, I promise, I will come claim it. You are my Special K. My very Special K.

    I lie here this morning listening to the silence and peace of the house, the clock in the bathroom and the clock in the bedroom answering each other like patient drummers. There may be nothing else we can rely on in this life, but we can rely on Time… and Love.”

  14. I lost 3 of my beautiful cats: 2 in 2015 and 1 in 2016. Pumpkin and Big Boy were my first 2 cats- they were tiny feral kittens that lost their beloved Mother (I tried to save her, but she ran away). Big Boy and Pumpkin were the lights of my heart and my life for 14 wonderful years. Sadly, in their last year- they both suffered from FIP Feline Aids, Feline Diabetes and then blindness. I brought them to several Vets, trying to get cures, make them comfortable- to save them. I would have given my life to them both, in order to save them. I would have died in their places, so they both could have lived. Sadly, nothing could be done to save them. I had to bring Big Boy to the Emergency Vet and they had to put him down. I couldn’t stand him suffering anymore. My beloved Pumpkin was hanging on and was rallying with some new Vet care and treatments, but He waited for me to come home from work, and then he died in my arms. I will never ever get over feeling quilty and a bad cat Mother- I feel so bad and terrible, still to this day. I tried everything I could to save them. I miss them both terribly. Then in April 2017- I lost my beloved Sasha. He was an elderly sick cat, who someone abandoned. I had the great honor and wonderful privilege to love and to care for and shelter and feed and worry about- for 18 months. He had a brain tumor, and again, I tried to help him with several Vets and meds and care, but nothing could be done. I could not stand to see him suffer. The Brain tumor came on so suddenly, I had to make terrible decision to have him put to sleep. I feel so awful that I couldn’t save my beloved cat babies- how terrible I still do feel to this day. I would give my life for my cats. They are wonderful and kind and compassionate babies- who always give unconditional love. I pray to God that I can see my wonderful and much loved and missed so much- my beautiful Big Boy, Pumpkin and Sasha kitties in Heaven someday soon,
    The grief is just terrible. My prayers and support go out to all those cat parents who have lost their beloved kitties. I am so very sorry for your losses. God Bless you always.

    1. Hi Annette ,I too lost a semi feral cat my beautiful Maffery they are such special cats as you have to try and gain their trust, but when they love you they love with all their heart ,I took it for granted he would always be there not realising he was getting old ,and my mother moving into a nursing home and all that entails ,so he hadn’t had much attention recently and I neglected him and then I noticed he had a bad eye so I bathed it but unfortunately it turned into an ulcer, bottom line I had him put to sleep as the vet said it could be aids and was realing off so many things with him being feral and he was going to lose his eye and his freedom which he adored ,spending many hours outside with me ,as I too love the outdoors, he was terrified so I let him go and It killed me ,I am heart broken ,I never knew I loved him until he was gone ,I never wanted a cat as my mother had so many as we were growing up 23 at one point , but he chose me and I had I think 15 years with him it went too fast ,he will be my one and only kitty ,my maffles ,.sending love from a newly realised fellow cat lover ,.

    2. Patricia Thompson

      Hello Annette,
      I am so sorry for your losses, all so close in time. I had to say goodbye to my 18 year old Tess on September 14, 2017. It is, as others have said, a difficult journey and we often wonder if we did enough. But the truth is that cats do not show illness, such as chronic kidney disease, until it is advanced and there are so many illnesses they can succumb to.

      I dedicated all 4 of my cats to the Lord when I first got them. I hope the scripture below will give you comfort that our furry children will be with us in Heaven.

      Psalm 145:9-10, 13, 15-21 – God loves all His creatures and has made plans for all His children and the lesser creatures to enjoy His Eternal Kingdom.

      Blessings, Patricia

  15. veshka grabofski

    I lost my beautiful tabby maffery 3 weeks ago ,he had to lose an eye and I didn’t think it would be fair to him as he would have had to stay inside he was an outside cat who loved his garden he was 15 I think as he was a feral cat who chose me he arrived on my path aged 2 I think. He had his own summerhouse with a soft bed and blankets to sleep in as he didn’t like indoors to much as he hated noise ,and my daughter who has special needs was terrified of him but I was always in the garden with him he followed me everywhere like a little dog and now I am devastated my world has changed forever I can’t sleep I can’t eat I am heartbroken and can’t stop crying I took him to the vet and she was going to operate and take his eye out ,but I said no let him go he loved his freedom and I thought it would be cruel to him ,she didn’t know if he would survive the operation but feeling as I do now I regret not letting them try my guilt is over whelming I love you maffery you took a piece of my heart with you,until we meet again stay safe in Laurens arms ,.

  16. I had to let my 17 year old cat Shiva go last Friday. She had been suffering from Hyperthyroidism for a while, we tried all the medicines possible but after a year of battling against it, seeing her lose so much weight, and the sudden loss of vision caused by this, we decided the only kind thing was to have her put to sleep. I was with her till the very end, I held her paw while the vet gave her the injection. After so long together, and her having been with me through my school days (I am now married and have a child) it was a heartbreaking thing to have to do. I know it was the final selfless and kind thing I could do for her, she went peacefully and without suffering, but it was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I’m lost on grief at the moment, and it comes in waves. I know it’s important to talk about her, and what she brought to everyone around her.

    1. Hi Kiki, I’m so sorry for your loss and I agree that it is important that you keep talking about the joy Shiva’s life brought to you. I am about 1 week away from “putting my cat to sleep”. I hate that phrase. Sadie has been with me through school as well. She’s 12 and has many many tumors in her lungs. She’s my first and only cat. I had no idea how special this could be! She’s my best friend. She comforts me. She comes running down the stairs to to greet me when I get home, and she plays fetch like a dog for hours.
      I’m sure your bond with Shiva was so special as well. Just know that someone… and many other someones, are saying goodbye to their special cat as well. We understand each other because the hole in our hearts reflects the gravity of the love we were lucky to have. I came to this site hoping to find others who felt the same. Thank you for sharing.

  17. I lost baby Bruno this past Tuesday. He was only eight months old and I adopted him just two months ago. He was diagnosed with F I P
    When I adopted him, we had an instant connection. He was so lovable and was there from when my alarm would go off, waiting for me when ever I arrived home and by my side at bedtime
    I fell in love the moment I saw him and can’t get him out of my mind. I held him until he took his last breath at the vet. I love you so much baby Bruno. Mommy misses you so much

  18. I was a nurse for 24 years and I saw more human suffering and loss then I care to recall. Before that I was a Marine and could say the same for that. But losing my cat was more painful then I could ever have imagined.

    Squeaky came to me 6 years ago at a one of the hardest times of my life during an awful divorce. He was a sweet creamy orange tabby. He gave me friendship and purpose when I felt I had none. Since then 6 years later my life is wonderful but squeaky and I had a special bond that lasted his entire 6 year life.
    He was still young and beautiful. He followed me around the house and slept at my feet.
    Yesterday morning I got up at 5 and Squeak followed me to his food bowl. I fed him and pet him like every morning and we had our time together. After finishing his breakfast he turned the corner to enter my office where he would always sit at my feet. But yesterday as he turned the corner he let out a scream and fell lifeless to the floor at 6 years old. My vet said myopathy in is heart likely caused a clot.
    It is so painful to know that a day later he is under the ground and I can do nothing for him.

    1. Oh my goodness. What a tragic and horrific thing to happen. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry you lost your special friend and that you didn’t have time to say goodbye. The way you wrote about Squeak, it’s clear that he knew he was loved, wanted, needed and he had a companion in you.

      I will have to say goodbye to my Sadie next week. She’s been my everything. I do not want to imagine how that day will feel. Your circumstance reminds me to be grateful for the opportunity to know that a goodbye is coming. Again, I’m sorry for your loss.

    2. Much love and strength to all of you I had a beautiful tabby named Ava that I took in a little five years ago on my mail route , gave her a great home and a lot of love and space to roam since I live in a semi rural area, plus a pit bull/beagle two years her senior that she loved and followed around, she was an indoor/outdoor cat, of course whatever she preferred she got , she never once in the five years we had together hissed or scratched me when she got in one of those cat moods, I don’t think she had any of those , she slept most of the evening Tuesday in front of the gas logs and woke me up at 1230 am to go outside and the next morning when she didn’t show up right away I didn’t worry too much at first seeing how she’s been a little late greeting me after I wake up when she’s been outside, but as the hour got on I started nervously looking towards the road , that’s the thing I had so so much great space for her to have a cats dream come true and she as I suspected but never busted her in the act , crossed the road and it’s a 40 mile an hour road that people fly on , anyway once I could see clearly I saw her lifeless body in the middle of the road, she was intact accept for a few gory details which haunt me I’ll spare the details of, the sudden shock of the her not only in the road but having been hit was a feeling I can’t describe and I never want to feel it again, as I carried her up the driveway it was like a living, real, nightmare, I called in sick to work and my uncle who lives next door helped me bury her, I’m here writing this because my world has been shattered to pieces, I thought I would have her long after my “Pit Beagle “ had passed away since Ava was only around seven and so is my dog, we had a great relationship, she knew how to get me up out of my chair to let her out by messing with metal blinds or knocking various items of counters, she was truly unique and the sweetest cat I’ve ever known, tabby to the core, followed me around like a puppy, greeted me after work, rubbed her face on mine, and cute as can be because she was made smaller than a normal sized cat, I always assumed she was the runt of the litter, I could go on but my fingers hurt , this just happened yesterday morning so I’m so grief stricken I am exhausted, this morning my dog Lux started looking for her little buddy and continues to when I let her out which is making it sadder, Im so heart broken for my littlest baby . Peace and healing love to you all. Tore up in WV

  19. If I knew it was the last day with my female Cat i would have changed everything … I can t forgive myself. My cat was my best friend.Had terminal cancer. I worked all day, when I left work and came home she was breathing fast … I called the doctor who accompanied her and I said what I can do to help my cat? She replied that there was nothing else to do, I had to give her a cortisone injection that night … After calling the doctor, I brushed my cat and she got some sun … though I called a lady who was known to talk about the situation I stayed with her on the phone 50 minutes !!!!! My cat got up from the bed . I hung up the phone and tried to help my cat, I gave the water with a syringe but began to “scream” of pain … I called the doctor again and she told her to take her to the doctor’s office to put her to sleep. Now I regret … there was nothing else to do ??? Why did I spend 50 minutes on the phone with someone I’ve only seen a few times? Why did not I give those 50 minutes to my cat who was the most special in my life? Why did not I hug her while she was in pain? I do not understand …. I’m not getting peace of mind and this guilt I feel My God its destroyed me…. it’s horrible. If I knew that it was the last moments with her, I would do everything differently and our last day was tragic …More than fourteen years together and now I feel lonely and my life will not be the same …. I can not cope with these feelings …. Forgive me my love …love you now and forever love my love …

    1. Hi Anjos

      What a horrible experience for you. But try to not beat yourself up too much about what you could have done differently. You gave your little cat a good life and what happened at the end would have been quite sudden and unexpected. Watching a cat suffer is unbearable. My cat too started to breath with his mouth open at the end and it was a shock for us. Like you I had thoughts of how I could have done things differently, better, maybe. Now after more than a month after I put my cat to sleep I realise yes, things could have gone a bit better at the end but also true is that things could have been alot worse. Take comfort in the knowledge that you were there at the end, they didnt die alone eg whilst you were at work. What ifs will destroy you and dont help. I realise my little cat Benson would have wanted me to remember all the good times we had together not just the horrible end. He deserved that, after 17 years of friendship and loyalty. You ended the suffering of your little cat and ended their pain instead of maybe prolonging it. That is a strong thing to do and you should be proud of yourself for that selfless act. I hope you will start to feel better soon. The pain does ease. Thinking of you.

  20. I lost my beloved Sox almost a year ago, he was 20 years old, a beautiful Tuxedo Cat. His brother Sootybis still with me, he will be 21 in may 2018. I am am still grieving the loss of Sox and Sootybis too. He has stopped purring, stopped playong, cries when ever I am not in his sight. I feel dreadful because I can’t help my beautiful Sooty. I try to make sure his routine is the same as it was when Sox was here, and give Sooty as much love as I can. It has been almost a year. When will it get better?

  21. My cat “Black and White” or Bob as he was named at the vet died on Monday. He was an outdoor cat, we had just moved a few months ago. He was one of my favorite cats, he would fallow you EVERYWHERE you walked outside and always meow at you lovingly.

    He came to us as a stray cat who ate our other cat’s food, and he almost immediately became one of my best friends.

    One day he was just gone. We searched for days but it wasn’t until day 5 I found our cat drenched in the rain. Clinging to life.

    We were going to take him into the vet the next day, we put him in the garage. But in the morning my wife woke me up balling. Our beautiful loving cat had passed during the night. It devastated me, it still devastates me. I immediately took him into get cremated, balling tears the whole way even embarrassingly at the vet.

    I am a 32 year old male with 2 kids and one on the way. I did not cry a single tear when my grandmother passed but for whatever reason the death of my cat Black and White is a huge blow to me. This all happened Monday so it’s been about 5 days now since he left us. I still cry from time to time. He was only 2 or 3 years old and it just wasn’t his time. I want him to come back so badly. I loved that cat so much.

    1. I lost my cat today, I cannot stop crying, I feel so devastated thank goodness to know I am not alone in feeling like I do, to know someone else is also devastated makes me feel at least a normal response and no shame in it, I’ve lost cats before but this seems worse as it was such a shock, but it is never easy to accept one’ s little friend one will never see again.

    2. (Sorry for wrong spelling and crappy grammar in advance.)
      Thank you for this. I lost my cat this week. First of all, I have to say I was never a “cat person”. I’ve had dogs all of my life, to me cats were just…well – cats. Oh man, and I was allergic to them. Whenever cat was near I was sneezing. But Princess… She was outdoor cat. She was stray before she came to our house, I used to see her from time to time in our neighbourhood. One day, 2 years ago, she just appeared in our house. She walked in, walked by our two dogs like they were not there and sat on my chair. I fell in love instantly. From that day she was living with us.
      She was poisoned few days ago. I instantly knew something was wrong when she didn’t come to the house when I was having my morning coffe. That was some kind of our ritual – me drinking coffe, she sittnig on the chair next to me. I still wait for her every morning. I miss her. Everyone is telling me to get over it, she was “just a cat”. Well, to me she was THE cat.

  22. The loss of a kitten or cat at any age or under any circumstance can be devastating but it does get easier.

    I’m neither ashamed or embarrassed to say that the death of my kitten brought me to tears for days and weeks when it first happened and still does occasionally.

    As a middle aged man and ex-soldier with four adult human children I never thought that the grief felt from the death of a cat could hit so hard………but it did and still does sometimes. Even making me well up writing this.

    My kittens name was Lucky and I found him as an orphaned kitten when he was just 6 days old. He was tiny, cold, wet, shivering, crying and starving. The vet said he wouldn’t survive any more than a few days.

    I cared for him, bottle fed him and stimulated him to pee and poop every two hours for 3 to 4 weeks.

    He survived, grew strong, was extremely adventurous, a great character and lived until he was 11 months old.

    Sadly, he somehow managed to escape from the house, got outside and was hit by a car and died.

    The bond made and the experiences shared are as special and as important as any made with a person. Only a cat owner and animal lover would appreciate that.

    I can never replace Lucky but I can share his story and the memories and moments we had on social media sites such as Instagram. It helps and it does get easier.

  23. My daughter’s cat vanished a week ago. She is 16 years old & has had her cat since she was 8. I know she is imagining awful things & misses him so much but won’t talk about it. It’s breaking my heart seeing her so low & obviously swaying between trying to be positive that he may still come back & feeling devastated that he’s probably gone for good. I feel like I’m grieving for the lost cat & also for my daughter’s joy at being with him.

  24. I lost my best friend today he was out longer than usual and i was worried i stayed up all night checking every half hour to see if he’d show i eventually found him down the street lying still stiff as a board, it has shattered me to pieces. I just don’t know if i can go on it has shattered the meaning of love for me because of afraid to go through it again i am inconsolable i don’t have a partner been alone for over 10 years he was like a part of me i would always look forward to letting him in the house or coming back to see him from wherever now its all gone wish i would just die in my sleep so i could be with him

    1. Hello Wayne. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can relate and I know how you’re feeling. Just remember that you are not alone and you will get through this, as hard as it is right now. I will send a prayer for your cat, I can sense how loved he was. Please take care of yourself.

    2. It’s amazing how crap it makes you feel! Our family cat passed yesterday I found her and didn’t want to believe it was her and am struggling to deal with it. Wish I had of kept her indoors that night as she was acting strange. So many what ifs ???? So many reminders everywhere. It certainly helps to talk,these cats are so loved and loved to be loved it’s hard to not feel like they are another member of the family that you are grieving.

      1. Nothing amazing about it. Its all darkness. No people around me can fully grasp it, the only ones able to are parents whose child was terminally sick, and went thru ups and downs, finally losing the battle. It was an emotional rollercoaster, two months of hope and despair, then hope again…a month has passed and I would have wished nothing more than to trade with my 2yr old Gizmo for his lymphoma. But gods have decided otherwise, so now, after I gave everything to him, wish Id die too and maybe meet him again. Used to want to live forever, mow not any more. No death of a human, even family, has ever hit me like this.

    3. It’s amazing how crap it makes you feel! Our family cat passed yesterday I found her and didn’t want to believe it was her and am struggling to deal with it. Wish I had of kept her indoors that night as she was acting strange. So many what ifs ???? So many reminders everywhere. It certainly helps to talk,these cats are so loved and loved to be loved it’s hard to not feel like they are another member of the family that you are grieving.

      1. thanks for replying i needed some human contact even if it is over the internet, i still find myself looking for him by my bed near my feet or at the window or door waiting to come in his name is Charlie by the way and i love him so much i feel like i could die from a broken heart i haven’t slept or ate since i have nothing left

        1. Really sorry to hear that. It’s an over-used cliche’ but time does heal… trust me.

          I found this site on Google and I’m glad I did now. It’s sort of relieving hearing people in the same situation.

    4. I feel your pain and the loss can feel overwhelming. But it will and it does get easier. If you have social media then use it to share those memories.

      It does help and it puts you in direct contact with other cat owners and cat lovers just like you.

      Chin up my friend. Your feeling are absolutely normal and show you to be a decent, compassionate and caring human being.

  25. I let my sweet young boy pass, just about 1.5 weeks ago, and feel so devastated. He was only 4.5 years old. He was a very healthy, happy boy who I loved dearly. We returned from a 2 week holiday and to a busy week (an upcoming family wedding). We had had a very close friend house sit him so he would not be lonely – she said he was completely normal and feels terrible as well . We returned to our home routine. A few days later, he seemed a little quieter, but ate. On family wedding day, we thought he had a hairball, gave him medicine and expected it to pass. He had a few, what we thought were attempts to dislodge it. He ate somewhat in the morning, went outside and then, stayed in. I took this to be, our busy – ness on returning home, he was quieter and had a stubborn hairball. When we came home, we saw he was a very sick little guy. We immediately took him to Emergency Vet where we had xrays done. One kidney was very small and the other was 3X’s the size. Various medical procedures were initiated, and the vet told us the next day, he stabilized. About 56 hrs later, the Vet said he had renal failure and that he was not going to get better, in fact he was failing. We decided with the Vet, with nothing further that could be done and it was time to end his deterioration. They provided no explanation as to the reasons for his sudden illness. I feel a huge amount of guilt for not intervening earlier for what we thought was hairballs (& being hurried that I did not take proper notice) , and that I was not there for him earlier. This little guy was my everpresent shadow, friend and buddy and I am devastated, empty and feel I failed him. I am unable to quell my guilt and sadness. He was my best buddy who I always made time for except when it counted….

    1. It’s normal to feel guilty even, or maybe especially, when there’s nothing to feel guilty about. Guilt hurts, but it’s easier than admitting there are horrible things we have no control over. Like the loss of a pet. Please know that it’s just a normal, human feeling and it’s not connected to anything you did wrong.

      My little Twitch died four years ago and I still get those stupid guilt feelings sometimes. When Twitch was alive he saved me twice when I stopped breathing in my sleep. After he died, there was one more time I fell asleep without my CPAP and was awakened by a purring sound in the room with me. I couldn’t find a source for the sound, never heard it before or since in 20 years in this house, and someone else heard it as well. Make of that what you will:-)

      1. Thanks Tina for your thoughtful words. Guilt is very hard one, & I hope I can get to what you say – it makes sense intellectually, emotionally it feels different – how to make that connect. I did everything possible to keep him safe and loved, but perhaps could not control everything.

    2. I have been googling ‘how to deal with loss of a cat’ we lost our little ‘toody’ cat this morning. We had her in a cattery for a week while we went away, bought her home and she stayed out all night. When she came back in the morning she was hissing and growling and drooling at the mouth. ( not sure if she had a run in with something that scared her) Then would snap out of it and be fine, but go through these episodes a few times, I took her to the vet, he wasn’t sure what was up, she had a temperature so he gave her antibiotic and Anti inflammatory. We got home, she went for a walk and didn’t come back. We searched everyday for 4 days, then this morning as I did the same walk I saw her on the side she the road about 20metres from our house. Totally devastated and keep wishing I had of kept her indoors and not let her out.. Not sure what happened, if she was poisoned or another illness that she may have been battling with or a car got her. It’s amazing how sad you can be from such a little ball of fluff. She loved cuddles and attention and we loved her so so much. Not sure I can deal with another cat if this is how it feels when they go far too soon. ????

    3. Hi Brenda,
      We just lost our little guy under amazingly similar circumstances. He was fine, we went away for 2 weeks, our best friend/cat sitter said he was fine while we were gone. Only thing was he seemed to have a major outbreak of fleas. We treated him on our first day back, he was so happy to see us. On our second day back, he seemed a little not his happiest self, so we decided to take him to the vet, we suspected a UTI which sometimes happens with him when we go away. The vet says, no UTI, all bloodwork is normal except for one serious thing–anemia. We thought it was the flea infestation–were sure that’s all it was. We followed up with our regular vet the next day, he ran more blood work, all normal. Then that night, our little guy Gryffin started a rapid decline I cannot describe. He just flattened out entirely. I rushed him to the vet and the culprit was hypoglycemia, so now he had hypoglycemia and anemia. We hosptilaized him overnight because his sugar levels were so low an internal medicine specialist scanned every organ and ran more blood work the next morning—just normal again, no reason for either issue detected. We decided to do a blood transfusion for the anemia, which he took well. I was incredibly optimistic at this point thinking that that’s all he needed to get better. The next morning I got a call, his condition got much worse, his kidneys were failing, and he couldn’t keep his sugar stable. We rushed him to a vet teaching hospital who said they couldn’t do anything else given the advanced stage of kidney failure and we agreed to let him go. The sickness came or of nowhere and the decline was incredibly rapid, and shocking to our system. He was the happiest little guy, he made everyone laugh on a daily basis and was the biggest source of joy in our house. We only had him for 6 years, which was not nearly long enough for us and we are just devastated without him. The fast and shocking nature of it all has been traumatic on top of excruciatingly painful. I don’t know why this happened, but it somehow helps a teeny but to know that others have the same loss, same questions, and similar circumstances. I’m not the only one who left a healthy cat and came home to what seemed like a minor issue that sounds rapidly out of control. I wish you peace as you grieve and I can say for us that we will be grieving Gryffin for a very , very long time. He was such a loving little guy.

      1. Hi Lynn

        I am so sorry about what happened to your cat. My family cat died 5 weeks ago. She was 14 years old. We buried her at my grandparents’ house. My parents got her 2 years before they had me. My 4 year old brother loved her very she was his cat. She was my cat too. We all miss Notty (that is what her name was). Remember you are not alone. Others have lost their cats, and while it is sad, we have memories. Focus on the good times with your cat, not the end.

  26. My Siamese cat with more 14 years old was my soul mate … This year was very hard for me and for her , in October 2016 I took my kitten to the vet the doctor said that there was something in the lungs and that could be bronchitis . She give injections of corticosteroids and morphine … a month later new x-ray .remained in the same, Received palliative care … began to appear new nodules and diagnosed as fibrosarcoma … how is it possible if it only had a nodule? I blame myself for taking it to the doctor once it got worse maybe because corticosteroids ? … I looked for an oncologist, new x-rays and said that it was sarcoma that would have to do magnetic resonance and that if it had to be operated it had to be with a lot of margin …. I denied because my princess had already had many surgeries…. On 09-13-2017 I took my kitten to the doctor because one of the nodules was in wound, advised to remove … I said no, because it seemed to me that she looked good … She told me that if I wanted to prolong the life of my Kitty, I would have to remove the nodule … I accepted and on 09-15-2017 I removed the nodule, I heard my cat crying during the procedure , it’s normal ? About 4 days later, I started to have problems of breath, took the doctor again, had x-ray and had pulmonary edema and lung metastasis… I had to send her to sleep on 09-23-2017 because the doctor said that I was only prolonging her suffering .I dont know if I did the right thing … she was everything to me …. I feel that I failed and now my life is empty … I feel so much guilt over all this, and I feel bad because I got upset with my princess to take medication few weeks ago , I knew she was going to leave one day but not this way … I dont feel I said goodbye to her as I wanted. No one understands my pain … now I have the ashes of my princess at home, I feel a little comfort. But I cant live my life thinking that to protect it I have made things worse or bad decisions … My kitty was everything to me, I wanted so much to go back and change things … I cant have peace in my mind and my life and my heart is so empty without her …My days since she left are empty …sleeping …days in bed , crying and thinking “What if ” …

    1. Oh Paula! I’m so sorry to hear how painful this time has been for you. I hope you can stop blaming yourself for trying to do the best you could for your Kitty – your love for your friend comes through so clearly, and only you knew what was the right thing for her at the time. You may question yourself now, but you made the decision out of love and based on the information you had from the vets. I know how many times I’ve gone through asking “what if” and questioning what I should have done and when – we lost our 17 year old baby girl on August 27th, when we had to say goodbye because she was in discomfort – and I feel very lonely at times also. I hope you can take the advice in the article to heart and be good to yourself. It sure sounds to me like you gave her a great life and had a strong connection. I get through the worst times by thinking of Junior’s quirky behavior, her bawling me out for not coming soon enough – you know what I mean. That makes me smile. I hope 14 years of good memories can help you smile through the tears. And please know that you’re not alone – we know what you’re going through and my family joins others around the world who have lost a pet in a candle ceremony every Monday night – we always pray that our Catster friends who are grieving will find peace. I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope you find peace from having been a loving friend.

      1. It is very difficult to deal with these feelings of guilt … looking back would have acted differently … each day that passes is more difficult …. I am very sorry for your loss …. I wish much strength and thanks for the words It’s good to know that I’m not alone … thank you

        1. I’m sorry you’re going through this – the loss is tough enough without the added guilt. I can see feeling guilty if you ignored the problem, didn’t go to the vet or weren’t concerned about her health. If she went through surgery a year earlier, it may have been too much for her. I think of what our vet told us: “you know her better than I do” – I really believe that you made your decisions out of love, deciding what was best for her, and doing what you could do because you knew what she stand, and what would be too much. It sounds like kitty was extremely lucky to have a loving, caring friend. I hope you don’t mind my saying this, but I don’t see what you have to feel guilty about – other than not having a crystal ball to see the future and being able to go back in time. You were there for her, you tried, and you did the best you could. I know it’s easier to say than to feel – I think the same thing about “what if” and question what I should have noticed, and that hurts as I miss hearing Junior’s MEEEOWs demanding that I follow her.

          1. Hi Ed (Sorry my English , im Portuguese …i live in Lisbon thats why my English is not perfect ….sorry and i hope you understand what i mean ) ….What hurts the most is that my kitten a week before dying took one of the lumps that was ulcerated… I didnt want to … I told Dra if I could not wait another time and she replied “if you want to prolong your cat’s life has to be already next friday … and blame me for forcing my cat to take the pills, one of them was huge (Corpet), she was already hiding from me,… I feel that I did not spare my kitten to much suffering to keep it with me …. I’m afraid she left, thinking that I did not love her …. and the day she passed away she’d been alone almost all day because I was working …. My God, I feel so guilty and frustrated that I can not to change the things and OMG i just wanted her back….:'( … And from what you told me about your caseYou could have peace of mind because you did everything well …. in my case I think that trying to do the best just made things worse … I dont know how to live with this guilt for the rest of my life …

    2. I am crying as I type. You didn’t do anything wrong. You tried to do what was best. I feel your pain & wish I could take it away. Try and focus on the joy she gave you and the endless love you gave her. Bless you xx

      1. I’m trying to focus on watching TV, reading books but my life has lost its magic, shee was everything to me … I do not know what else to do …. I wanted so much to hug my kitty one more time and tell her everything what I did was because I loved her so much and wanted her more time near me …I miss them so much that I feel empty and lost …

      2. I’m trying to focus on watching TV, reading books but my life has lost its magic, it was everything to me … I do not know what else to do …. I wanted so much to hug my kitty one more time and tell her everything what I did was because I loved her so much and wanted her more time near me … I miss her so much that I feel empty and lost …

    3. Americo Zeccardi

      I know your pain. My best friend of almost 14 years, Dizzy left me a couple months ago. He was my EVERYTHING. For the last 10 months we endured Hyperthyroidism (cured) and liver disease which eventually took him from me. The most difficult decision I have had to make in my life was the morning I scheduled his euthanization. I changed my mind 3 times before I realized I loved him too much to let him continue to suffer. He took a piece of my heart with him but that’s ok because my little boy will hold it until we meet again some day at The Bridge.

      Know that you are not alone in your grief. Also know that you had a gift that not everyone gets, you shared a deep love with another living being. I believe the strength of that love can one day be honored by sharing it with a different friend. As a matter of fact, I was volunteering at a no-kill shelter and one cat made it a point to take an interest in me. So now Charlie, a 6 month old ball of energy is in my life. Dizzy would approve.

      1. I’m so sorry for your loss … Since she left, my life, my world and my person have changed forever … she was everything to me. Now my days are cold, empty … I miss her so much. And the guilty feelings are horrible. I just wanted to go back and do different things, maybe she would still be here today.
        Thank you very much for your words

        1. I am so sorry for your pain. We just had to put our beloved Charlie to sleep who was with us for 15 years. We were traveling, so it was really hard. A strange town, a strange vet. We buried him at a family member’s house where we were visiting. I am going over things in my mind wondering what if this or that, but in the end we know we did the best we could for him, and what remains is the love. The love is what counts. Your kitty wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. Please try to focus on that and stop ruining your life with pointless guilt. That’s what I’m trying to do, even while the grief is still so raw.

    4. If I knew it was the last day with my female Cat i would have changed everything … I can t forgive myself. My cat was my best friend.Had terminal cancer. I worked all day, when I left work and came home she was breathing fast … I called the doctor who accompanied her and I said what I can do to help my cat? She replied that there was nothing else to do, I had to give her a cortisone injection that night … After calling the doctor, I brushed my cat and she got some sun … though I called a lady who was known to talk about the situation I stayed with her on the phone 50 minutes !!!!! My cat got up from the bed . I hung up the phone and tried to help my cat, I gave the water with a syringe but began to “scream” of pain … I called the doctor again and she told her to take her to the doctor’s office to put her to sleep. Now I regret … there was nothing else to do ??? Why did I spend 50 minutes on the phone with someone I’ve only seen a few times? Why did not I give those 50 minutes to my cat who was the most special in my life? Why did not I hug her while she was in pain? I do not understand …. I’m not getting peace of mind and this guilt I feel My God its destroyed me…. it’s horrible. If I knew that it was the last moments with her, I would do everything differently and our last day was tragic …More than fourteen years together and now I feel lonely and my life will not be the same …. I can not cope with these feelings …. Forgive me my love …love you now and forever love my love …

      1. Dear Anjos, I am so sorry about the loss of your cat and the guilt that you are feeling about spending time on the phone instead of with her. I, too, have guilt feelings about my loss of Mister Kitty this summer and not taking him to the ER soon enough when he started to have breathing problems after being sprayed with a “natural” flea spray. On the way to the ER, I managed to hit every red light, and wish I had just “run” the lights to get him there faster. He died at the front desk while waiting for the tech to come and get him. I keep thinking, “if only, if only”. He was only about 6 years old and had a heart problem. Ask God to heal you from this pain and guilt. Your kitty knew that you loved her and you gave her a good life. God has helped me with the guilt and pain, and although I will never forget Mister Kitty, I finally am able to have some peace. I am not sure but what our pets will be in heaven. I sure hope so. May God bless and comfort you.

  27. This site is offering me comfort. We are putting our 16 year old Rudy down this afternoon. We’re devastated, he’s suffering from gall stones, IBD & kidney & liver disease & has not wanted to eat the past couple days & I’m done forcing meds down his throat only for him to throw them up later. I think he knows, he just wants to be left alone in his cat carrier which hurts more

    1. I share your sorrow and helplessness. I just put down my beloved Miss Kitty yesterday and cannot stop crying. I know as well as you they are and will be in better place pain free and whole. But the overwhelming grief is so all consuming. My heart goes out to you and your Rudy.

      1. Thank you so much for the thoughts. My sympathies to you as well. We had an odd sense of relief when he was gone. We will miss him terribly.

        After the Doc left with him there was a random quick rain shower on an otherwise sunny day. A sign from him I say

  28. I lost the cat my parents got 2 years before I was born yesterday. She was fourteen, and her name was Notty. My mom thinks she had a heart attack. She looked in pain when we found her on our kitchen floor. I got up to feed her and our other cat and she didn’t come like normal. I found her on the floor and went to tell my mom. We all ( me, my mom, and my brothers) cried as my mom called my dad at work and her mom. We put a blanket over before we left for school ( we’re part of a co-op). We stopped at Mcdonalds for breakfast. Being around friends all day definitely helped. We buried her at my grandparents’ house. We will always rember her. She was a good cat.

    1. Tori,
      I’m sorry to hear your sad news. It hurts to lose a friend. We’re still sad that our 17 year old died a month ago – I know I’ll never forget my little friend, and I’m sure you’ll always have a place in your heart for the cat that you knew your whole life. It hurts because they were special to us. Please know that you’re not alone – there are a lot us thinking of you and hoping that your hurt goes away. I’m sure you were a good friend and gave her a nice life. Try to think of how she made you happy and smile.

  29. I’m so broken right now. My baby Hexie died yesterday. I searched for her all day since she loves to roam around the yard and sunbathe. She’s been with us for 3 years. She showed up at my front door as a kitten soon after our dog of 17 years died. Her momma was a big black stay and she was a little version of her. She was beautiful, all black with a broken tail tip. We welcomed her and she became part of our family. It’s so hard for me to even rightbthus now because I’m in tears and miss her so much. It was always just the two us after my husband would leave for work and the kids off to school. The entire family is devestaded and I have to be strong. But since it’s the first day after her passing and I’m alone, I can’t even believe it. It hurts so much, I miss her so much. I am beside myself and so heartbroken and I’m so much disbelief.
    I found her in our backyard yesterday afternoon, she had been shot in the front left leg. Who would do something so terrible, everyone of my neighbors knew her, they knew she belonged here. She didn’t deserve to die like that, she was such a sweet girl, so was such a good cat, she was always by our door. I think after she was shot, she just tried to make it home. But couldn’t. We buried her next to our dear dog, ginger. Please pray for my family, thank you.

    1. Know that all of us who love cats grieve with you. One of our cats was shot a couple weeks ago and survived but I couldn’t understand that either. Your cat knew you loved him so he was happy while alive. Remember you are not alone.

    2. My heart is with you. It hurts so much to lose our precious companions,and am so sorry your little was killed. Your grief must be enormous but you are not alone, I just put down my ill Kitty and cannot stop crying. She was my faithful companion 14 years. I am overwhelmed with sadness. Please know we hear you.

    3. Very sorry for your loss. My kitty is 13 and I know in the next few years I will have to face the inevitable. I’m so angry reading your post, who would shoot a cat? And who thinks they have the right to? people can be so evil, they will get it back ten fold don’t worry.

    4. Hi Christina,
      I’m reading through comments and yours strikes a cord with me. I’m so sorry you feel so devastated for your sweet girl. I can, in some respects identify and in all respects empathise with everyone here. My gorgeous little boy , Roy, who was four years old was tragically killed by a car on Sunday early eve. We got a text to say a cat had been hit outside our house. I ran out to find what I thought was our older cat (who was also partially living out at the restaurant across the street), and asked my hubby to come scoop him up as it was a messy scene Meanwhile I was acutely aware that Roy was missing as I hadn’t seen him since 4pm or so. We brought in who we thought was Smudge and quickly buried him as he was fairly messed up. That night I grieved for Smudge but was on high alert waiting for Roy to come home. Not much sleep was had.It was very unusual. for him not to come home, being indoctrinated by the routine of taking meds religiously for his epilepsy. By morning there was still no sign and we both began to think the dark thoughts that it was Roy who we buried, such are the extent of the injuries incurred. Later that morning I did indeed locate Smudge, dig up Roy and got him identified by our vet and then the weight and shock of what had just happened hit like a ton of bricks. This was my best little boy, my buddy, my favourite conversationalist, my shadow and he used to sleep in the crook of my arm at night. He was with me though three years of cancer and treatment and recovery and he never failed to snuggle up, making all my woes seem small. You see, Roy was epileptic, was on meds and that afternoon my husband thought he may have had a fit. In this case we’d usually keep him in for 24 hours but having family over he somehow got out. We cannot know if it was anything to do with the aftermath of a fit, even if he did indeed have a fit. We cannot know what happened, why he made the mistake he did crossing a well travelled road. I beat myself up constantly that we should never have moved into this neighbourhood , that we should have kept Roy in constantly, or at least until we moved. To me it would have been a small price to pay to have him here with me now. Instead my bed is lonely , my dog, who adored him is confused and my other cat is sad. I’ve no idea when ghe grief will let up, the crying, the guilt and the sheer frustration that this has happened to my closest animal pal. Life feels all too pointless right now. We are looking at houses to move to but it seems like an empty endeavour without Roy. Then I think how am I to live another ten whole years or so without seeing his little face, hearing his purr, being snuggled and unconditionally loved by him . It feels unbearable, confusing and devastatingly sad. I try to find joy in the little things he would do like give me little kisses on my nose or hand before settling onto my shoulder for a nap and these things make me more sad and inconsolable. I am truly lost.
      I have no real advice for you as I’m in this too but I thought it might help to know that someone else is with you through this very difficult time. Xx

  30. Never ever I have I read such a cruel response. Or have been moved to respond to something like your repeated statements. Do not think for a moment that we do not love our pets. Responding like that is a cruel thing. I have lost pets to illness and to an accident. I have grieved and went over everything in my power to do things differently. And often had had to come to the hard realization that only in hindsight could I have made any outcome different or even at all. Do not attempt to put yourself in the shoes of another and what their situation is and especially what their pets situation is. Do not think that these people who are grieving myself included intentionally would do anything that would harm their pets. Things often happen beyond our control even if we do everything we think that can be controlled. I have also worked with and talked with Vets and shelter workers on this subject. If they were owners who did not love their pets they would not me grieving so hard and feeling so much pain. I’m sorry that you feel had you had to post the comments you did. They are not helpful. People learn from mistakes. Your comments leave no room for people to be human.

  31. It’s comforting to find this site and see how I’m not alone in this process. I’m so sorry that each and every one of you is going thru this aweful grieving process of our beloved fur baby.
    I just lost my Krueger after 12 years. I thought he was the cat that I would grow old with. His feral mother Lily who I had been feeding left him for me on my front porch when he was 3 months old. (I eventually trapped her and had her spayed and still feed her.)
    He was so kind and gentle for a little feral cat and became more so over the years. He took it upon himself “to protect” us. Every morning he would have to go out around 3 or 4 am and “patrol” the property and neighbors houses. Everyone knew him. Then come back for breakfast around 7am and sleep in the house or screened porch the rest of the day with his litter mates – fur brothers and sisters. Or he would sleep by me while I worked from home. He had the same routine in the evening and would be home by 10pm ish. This past Monday 9/11/17 he wasn’t home so I called for him which always worked in the past. I thought ok maybe he’s having fun but inside I felt you know this isn’t right. I kept telling myself have faith he’ll be home soon don’t give into fear he’s ok just having fun somewhere. He would climb the tree next to the house and jump from the tree onto the roof then jump down to the lower roof and come to my bedroom window if he stayed out past my bedtime. I waited all night for him to come home. Same the next day. I kept calling and calling. Asking the neighbors, looking around the neighbors yards. The other cats in the house were all a little weird. They kept sitting on the perch that faces the back yard woods. They stayed close to me and I would ask them where’s Krugie? And they would get this lost look on their face. As I stared out the window to the woods in the backyard I knew he was in there and needed me I just couldn’t figure out where to start. I decided to start looking in the woods behind our house to right since he knew those woods from the day he was born. I covered one side of woods and went to cover the other side and there was a lot of brush that had grown from the Summer. I said I’ll come back and cut this tomorrow if he doesn’t come home today. After I cut threw the brush I was looking at which way to start since this was really thick brush and as I looked ahead 10ft there he was laying there lifeless. His little white and greyish tabby body already decomposing. I brought a towel with me in case I found him hurt I could wrap him and wisk him off to the vet hospital. Nothing prepared me for what I found after 3 1/2 days. I managed to wrap him in the towel. From what I could tell he was in a really bad fight with something. Knowing how he like to patrol the borders he ran across something that he did not want around. I feel guilty b/c I think it was this unneutered tom cat that has been coming around and feeling sorry for him, i feed him in the evening. I don’t think Krueger liked him. I doubt he would have taken on any wild animals.
    I keep playing the whole thing over in my head saying why didn’t you look sooner maybe you would have found him alive but injured. He was so close as if he tried to make it home… so close! The guilt is heavy and I know I shouldn’t go there but I just keep thinking it over and what I had wished I did instead.
    My sister and I buried him with his favorite blankets next to his friend Ruby who we just lost this past March. He loved her. He grieved under the blanket on the couch for a month after she pasted. I took her in 3 years ago after the people up the street moved and left her. She was old, hyperactive thyroid but loving and so creative. They would play tag, and hide in the box, paws under the door and chase around the china cabinet. None of the other cats were interested in this type of play nor did any of them care for her antics except Krueger.
    Oh, God please take my pain away and bring my baby back again! Make this time pass fast so I can feel good about him.

    1. Cyndi, I am truly so sorry about your loss. It is terribly hard to get over the loss of our sweet pets. I am dealing with my loving cats’ old age (19) as well as kidney disease. My husband and I need to make a decision soon. She’s not in pain, yet. My heart is so broken.
      Please know my prayers are with you. I hope you start feeling better soon. Take care. Joni

      1. Joni
        I have sympathy with you. On saturday Me and my husband had to put to sleep our baby boy cat of 20 years Benson. He had kidney disease too, but we were coping with that. A struggle with handfeeding etc but it wasnt the kidney disease that did it. On Monday he started to breathe with his mouth open- very scary and I rushed him round to the vet and asked them to do bloods. In the vets he had a major attack with mouth wide open struggling to breathe. They couldnt do anything as he was so fragile and to be honest vets make you feel you should not make them undergo tests but let them go. We took him home and he recovered a bit but was still uncomfortable with the breathing and the next few days were really upsetting. He couldnt get comfortable and not sleeping well and the mouth breathing and making little whinning noises like’help I feel bad’. Not all the time but intermittent, he was still drinking, going to pee in toilet and eating fish so was difficult for us but after 5 days of watching him suffer we decided to get the vet to come to our home on saturday and put him to sleep. The hardest thing Ive ever had to do. I had time though to speak with him, say all the things we wanted to say and hope that Ive done the right thing. Dont let your cat suffer. My heart has been ripped out. I had him for 17 years, he slept beside me. But I couldnt bear to watch him suffer. We dont know for sure what was causing the breathing issues. Maybe a throat tumour or could have been a symptom of the kidney disease. Who knows. We couldnt check that out cos the vet visits would be so stressful and the tests involved a anaesthetic which due to the breathing issues the vets would not do that. I dont know he would have survived an anesthetic anyway. I hope this pain goes away. Our home is empty. We miss our sweet Benson so much. Till we meet again.

        1. Oh Tess,
          I’m so sorry to read about your Benson. Not sure if this helps but from what I understand about kidneys they are related to the lungs & heart. The fluid that the kidneys can’t process starts to back up and put pressure on the pulmonary system taxing the lungs and heart creating breathing issues. It’s sad and hard to watch this. You did the right thing and I’m sure he is grateful. You are so blessed to have had the time you had with him. May your healing journey be gentle on you and your husband.
          Take care,

        2. This sounds sadly familiar to me. My 14 yo cat was completely fine on Saturday evening. Then in the early hours of Sunday morning (yesterday) she was panting, breathing open mouthed fast shallow breaths. I didn’t think we’d make it to the 24hr Vet and sadly I was right. At the vet, they detected slight activity on.an ecg and they commenced cpr but I asked them to stop because she had been through enough..i don’t know if I made the right decision. They may have saved her but she was so lifeless on my chest, I thought she’d already died. I haven’t moved from my bed since, I am so distraught to lose her so suddenly. The grief and guilt are excruciating.

          1. Hi Donna

            I read your message today. Please know this will get easier. It is a shock. You did everything you could. From what I have read it could either be fluid in the lungs or some kind of tumour in the throat. In our case I think it was a tumour. To remove fluid in the lungs involves the vet using a needle to remove the fluid. This is very distressing for the cat. The cat might not have survived anyway. The hardest thing is the suddeness of this, I thought I would be faced with a cat not eating or a seizure something like that. I wasnt prepared, like you. I decided after Benson died to foster 2 cats. They are not a replacement to my little Benson but a distraction and it is helping. The grief in the first week is unbearable but trust me it does get easier. Thinking about you. xx

          2. i can relate,,my cat mister,, of 14 years, ,,i had to put him down for kidney failure,, stage 4…he was suffering stopped eating and drinking water he was dyidrated he fell down the stairs, i thought i was going to die,,,he dyed in my arms,,, i was losing myself fast, cryed so hard for days, but, he left behind his twin brother baby,,he is lost without mister, howling at night looking for him, outside ,,he was just tested for it too. his proteins were a little high, im keeping a close eye on him ,,so far hes doing ok. he is clinging to me like glue, i give him alot of love and attendsion…its so hard,,, plus i have 2 more cats,, too.

        3. I am so sorry for your Benson. I also had to put down yesterday my loving faithful companion of 14 YRS Kitty bUT she was abut 17 yrs old. She had diabetes with neuropathy back legs which caused litter box issues. All she did was lay close to her water and food but also could not jump up anymore. Lost all interest. I knew her time was coming and I dreaded it. So here I am inconsolable, crying my heart out. I live alone so her absense is all the more profound. Like you and Benson, I will never forget her. It hurts so much a hole in our hearts.

          1. Hi Lori

            Just read your reply. I hope you are feeling a little better. I do know exactly how you feel. Like Miss Kitty, Benson was my sole companion too as I lived alone for a long time with him. He slept next to me. He was with me through alot of good, bad and lonely times. Ironically now I have one of those ‘sleeping cat urn” on the bedside table. You will miss Miss Kitty and its gonna hurt for a while. If I can offer any advice to you, it would be to think about getting another cat. Your little Miss Kitty wouldnt want you to be alone and suffering and it does help alot to look after another little cat who is looking for love. Living alone will mean that loss of your little cat could be more unbearable for you. I fostered 2 cats one week after Benson was put to sleep. To be honest I didnt know it I could love another cat in the same way, and was curious to see if it would help. Definately does and although ill never forget Benson, but taking care and loving another little pure soul is helping me. Thinking of you. Tess x

      2. Joni,
        Thanks for reaching out, your kind words and prayers. It is greatly appreciated. I’m very sorry for your situation. It’s never an easy decision. Cherish the time you have with her now. Say and do everything you ever wanted with her so when the time comes you’ll have a little more peace. I’ll keep you in my prayers that she’ll give you some kind of sign that it’s ok. And, that she’s ok with it. Hopefully, that will ease things a tiny bit for you and your husband. Give her good energy she’ll appreciate it! She knows you love her and are there for her. Please keep me posted on how she’s doing. I’m here for you too :)

        Since tonight will be a week I’m still in shock! I cry out of the blue and then calm down. I’m going to attend the grief seminar at our local vet hospital that they hold 2x’s a month. I just took our routine around here for granted…… he’ll be home, always has, always will be. If he comes home injured he’ll be ok after a quick hospital visit. Or I thought as he ages if he becomes ill I will time with him before anything happens. I never thought I’d find him the way did. He was the glue of our cat family. I have one of his sisters that sits on the perch staring out at that corner of our yard for hours like she’s hoping to see him come out of the woods. My other one is now starting to curled up under the desk in the room that her and Krueger used to hang out in and nap together on bed. She never did that before! so I put down some soft blankets for her to be comfie. They cuddled together on that bed this past Febuary when he had a wicked upper resp. with mouth breathing, sneezing blood etc. Same thing Ruby had that took her life in March. Oddly, this kitty never caught it!
        I’ve gone back to the site and looked so many times over the weekend trying to figure out what happened. The tom cat I thought might have done this came by and he looked fine. I figured if they were in a fight Krueger would have gotten a few good bites and claw marks on the guy. Maybe? maybe not? I called the police and asked if there has been an increase of reports in the area of coyotes or domestic pet killings. Nothing! So, now I’m trying to figure out what happened to him. All I know is everyone is spooked. All my cats were in/outdoor. None of them will go out at night now and only during the day for a few hours to sit under the azelas in the front garden. Right now I’m trying to figure out what the new norm is going to be around here. I’m trying to stick with the routine I had sans Krueger. But, now I stop and pick up whoever’s around and hug them a little more hoping the void in my heart will heal quickly.
        Thank you again for your kindness..God Bless!
        Take care,

      3. Hi Joni,

        I’m so sorry to hear about your baby. My Danté just passed this Friday. 9/22/2017. He was diagnosed with Kidney disease 3 weeks ago. I knew something was wrong when I didn’t get my normal morning wake up. But I waited 3 days before taking him to the vet. I thought he just had a cold. But when the vet at the emergency room took the blood and came back with the results, the numbers where so high. I knew then I had to do whatever I could to help him. It got to the point where I was giving him subcutaneous fluids at home because he was so dehydrated. It was like he never could take. In enough water. And he drank it like crazy. On Wednesday was the last day he stopped eating. I had told him a week before that if he was in pain, I understood and it was ok to leave me. The next day he still would not eat, just drank water. Friday came and I knew it was the day. I think he knew too. He crossed the rainbow bridge that evening. I know now that he is finally able to eat and he’s healthy again. He’s my love.

        1. I am so sorry for all the people who have lost there beautiful cats I lost my soul mate Cadbury who was seventeen years old on saterday she hung on till I came back from the north east of England on Friday poor girl could not hardly walk she had not eating for nearly a week but she tried for me my boyfriend had tryed but she would not eat for him she was very ill that Monday I took her to the vets she was on a drip her kidneys were ok but she had throyed Friday evening she could no longer stand lift her head I knew this was her time I sat with with a blanket on me then I put her on the bed she crude Agee times I told her I loved her with all my heart she had her head in my hand and her paw I went down stairs her breathing had changed then I checked her again she had gone to cat heaven she was kind loveing never scrated anyone at chrismass she would let you wrap her up in lights not near her wrapping paper I am in tears again the house is empty with out her she is bured in the garden which she loved under the tree love to her and all till we meet again x

    2. i lost my boby to mine was a kitten its mother would not take care of it and none of the others all of them die but one and i fed it took care of it when it cry at night i got up and fed it untill i fell asleep with it and killed it i rolled over on it i greved for 5 days every time someone spoke to me i just burst out crying then when i bered it i cryed somemore i said to god to what u said at the end i wanted my baby back i have about 17 cats but none of them was special like my baby i miss my baby ijust want my baby nothing couls replace it if u can contact dead cats then tell my baybe i love her and im sorry it is a funny thing u can for give someone somone can forgive u but u cant forgive your self

    3. I am so sorry for your loss. People that never form a close, emotional bond with a pet don’t understand that losing a pet is like losing a member of the family. You did all you could to make a good like for your beloved cat. Try not to feel guilty. I know it’s hard.
      I had to euthanize my 17 year old cat, Cleo, 2 days ago. Her health had been declining for the past two months but when she had to be IV hydrated and syringe fed she really went downhill fast and so I had to make the decision. It was heartbreaking. I had her for 15 years and she was my best friend. She showed up as a stray on my deck and that was a lucky day for both of us.
      Because it was the weekend I had to take her to an emergency vet facility and I’m glad I did. They had a private room. They took her to the back to put the port in her paw and brought her back to me in a big soft blanket. They gave me a buzzer to press when I was ready. I held her for a long time and told her what I needed to tell her. When I was ready I pressed the buzzer and the vet came and gave her the drugs. I held her and stroked her head the whole time. When it was over the vet said I could spend as much time as I wanted with her and when I was ready to press the buzzer again. They made a clay impression of her paws with her name on the bottom. I got her cremated and will get her ashes. I ordered an urn for her ashes, a memorial stepping stone and a personalized picture frame. I want to honor her memory. I will always love her as all of you do with your pets. I am so sorry for all of you that have to make this heartbreaking decision or deal with a pet’s death.
      I think what helped me is something I read from a vet. He said that pets only live for the moment. They don’t think of the happy yesterdays or the fun tomorrows. They live for the moment. He said every time he comes home his dog throws him a ticker tape parade. And it doesn’t matter if he leaves and returns in 15 minutes he does it again.
      So, all of our beloved pets know we love them and they live for the moment and they depend on us to send them over the Rainbow Bridge when it is ready.

    4. No, in my experience its foxes that get old cats. I don’t think you could have done anything other than what you did. Its what I would have done. Cats are survivors and had he been able to get home he would have. Had you gone in earlier you would have found a fresher body.

      He died after a good life, in the woods he loved. You did good, and right by him to the last. I love my cats, and I seeked professional help after one was lost for three days. But then I suffer from separation anxiety because of childhood issues with parents. (Know cats are not best pets for me)

    5. Cyndi

      I hope you are feeling a little better. Thank you for your reply. I am feeling a little better but still cry and like you I have alot of what ifs that I am trying to work through. With your little cat I feel that you could punish yourself forever with what if I looked for them earlier. The chances are if the cat was as badly injured as you said then it would have passed away quite quickly, this is what you would like to think anyway. Its doubtful the cat would have lasted overnight injured. You did the best. You let your little cat go outside and live a life Krueger enjoyed. I feel guilty for keeping my cat indoors when I moved him to live with me in my flat. I was scared to let him out in case something happened to him. Selfish I know, especially as he liked the outdoors. My point is we can all torture ourselves with these types of things. You should take some comfort in that you found your cat and was able to give them a dignified send off. Some people dont ever find their lost pet and forever wonder what happened. Thats horrible too. My point is things could have gone better but things could have been worse too. My little cat when we were putting him to sleep was struggling to breathe, We sedated him and he fell asleep but when the vet moved him closer to the light he woke up and panicked and I keep seeing his little face gasping for a breath. Why didnt I move him, I didnt hold him at the end as I didnt want to distress him more. Maybe I should have held him. These kind of things can make you go crazy. I am trying to put them out of my mind. I dont know if the breathing issues were related to the kidney disease or not cos the bloods done at the time came back ok. Also Benson had been making little noises for about 2 months, vet listened to his chest and found nothing but maybe I should have pushed for more tests then. he meiow went croaky about a year and half ago and vet didnt seem concerned. You know you trust the vets and if they dont seem concerned you think everying is ok. Now I feel that if you say your cat is over certain age they just dont care. Just how Im feeling.

      1. I agree with you … either the vets don’t care when a cat gets a certain age OR they know they will pass on and just don’t want the owner to spend their last times with the cat thinking of the worst outcome. Perhaps sensitive vets choose the latter approach on purpose.

    6. Cyndi,
      I meant to respond to your post about your Krueger earlier. I don’t really post much on blogs or sites. But it seems I do recently. I’ve just been through losing my cat Simon on Aug 28st. He was out and got hit. He was just 6 years and I also thought we would grow old together. I found him just after it happened when I was out looking for him. He died in my arms on the way to the animal ER. What you said about him, your loss and the routine you had seem so similar to my life with Simon. I’m still in shock and grieving. He was my little guy. My best friend. It saddens me that I read a post from the 21st that to me seems cruel. Leaves no room for compassion. I like you have gone over and over what happened and what I could have done. Each time I come back to I don’t know if all the preventive measures I took would have changed the outcome. My life at home is not the same. I also had to put down my 16 year Golden Retriever and my 16 year old cat on the same day at the beginning of the year. Both were old and they were ready. All in all I’ve have rescued 5 dogs and 6 cats that have passed. I still have 2 cats. An accident is something I have not lost a pet to before so it’s been especially hard. I’m working with myself at understanding that no matter how much we try to control and keep our pets safe it’s often out of our control. I’ve had people in my life who have lost children they tried to keep safe and accidents happen. And illness as well. I’ve lost two cats to illnesses that came on sudden. I hope you are doing a little better. It’s not the same but I do hope that in time we all will feel less sad but never have them far from one’s heart.

    7. Cyndi,
      I am so sorry fir your loss. I know how you feel. My precious OSCAR (SIAMESE FEMALE, 16 years of age) went missing 8-27-2017. I too am grieving myself to pieces. Don’t know if age went off to die or if any wild pretator got her. She seemed fine that fateful Sunday night. It will be 4 weeks tonight she went missing. I have looked around the house, woods, barn, called and called her to no avail. I am feeling soooooooo guilty. I should have made attempts to bring her inside at night for her protection. She loved being outside. She was feral, gadd her, her sister and mom when she was a baby. When young, the sister and Mom had got run over. OSCAR was my baby. I could get her to come inside in the winter months. She would spend the night, but wanted out in the morning. Like I said earlier, I feel so guilty that
      I never seen the signs of older age. I knew she was slowing down a bit, but she was so happy being an outdoor kitty. That dies not help with the guilt. I MISS HER SO MUCH. IT IS UN-BEARABLE.

    8. Cyndi: We do all we can to help our pets live happy lives. Then suddenly, your pal is gone. Whether your cat took its spiritual body through illness or an incident, the sting of transformation is all the same. I admit, I think of the pain my cat suffered that had cancer. Although, I gave her pain meds, there are times between doses she likely suffered and in the time it takes for the meds to kick in, she likely suffered. That pains me. She wasn’t resting well and that bothered me. I can’t (and you shouldn’t) rest in those thoughts. So I help others grieving their loss and recall how happy my cat was just to be with me. Think of the good times and know that, if you believe, you’ll see your beloved cat again and smile!

    9. Very sorry for your loss, please don’t blame yourself. Even though male cats can fight to the death I kind of doubt it was another cat that did it, you would be surprises the bravery our little cats have and they have no fear and most would take on a wild animal. Again I’m very sorry for your loss, my baby is going on 14 and through all the cats I’ve had he is my heart and I know in the next year’s I’m going to have to deal with living without him.

  32. Thank you so much for your article – it helped my wife and me cope with the loss of our beloved baby girl (Junior, a tuxedo) a couple of weeks ago. She would have been 17 today (well, that’s the date we picked since she was born outside but it’s been her “birthday” for at l5 years). I have thought often about my reaction to a friend’s wife’s loss many years ago (before I was introduced into the feline world) when I had no appreciation of how integral a part of our lives these little friends can become. I regret having thought (and fortunately didn’t express) “it’s only a cat” now that I’ve lost one of my dearest family members. We celebrate Junior’s whole life – that brings the smiles to surface. Again, we appreciate your wise words!

  33. thank you all so much for the comments and the article, I lost my cat yesterday after 16 years (after four months of worrying about her health she died in her sleep) and to know you’re not alone with this grief and sadness is good to hear at this moment

  34. Im glad that I found your site. Due to my health and becoming a widow , i moved to a condo that pets are not allowed, after a year I was asked by the management to give my cat up. I called the shelter where she was adopted and they welcomed my cat back. It was a very difficult to return shannon , I miss her terribly and feel like going and visiting her. But I was asked by the shelter that was not a good idea. it has been a week and I miss her more every day. I feel like a bad person for giving her up. I had no choice with my move to the condo. Any ideas, please help !!

    1. Get a note from your doctor that you need this cat for your mental well-being. Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, they have to allow your cat. Do it today!

  35. One of mine died last night. (I have a dozen or so outside + more visitors who are wild strays that I just feed and get close to depending on their comfort level) .
    I have a pet door on the garage for weather, all rescues in a pretty rural setting. I’d run out of day if I spent half an hour a day with each of them, but we get on fine and many of them follow me around like loyal dogs for all non noisy outdoor work.A few are well behaved lappers, and can come in for movie time, but all outdoor cats as my daughter has allergies.

    He was 15yrs old, my third oldest. He came from the highway. Solid black. Yellow eyes. Short hair. As a way too young to be dropped kitten was wandering around trying to get himself killed, seemed to make a home in nearby drainage. Reeked of runoff/chemicals and was heavy with fleas. Took him home, cleaned him up. Was always a sickly cat,but well tempered, but other cats always avoided him because he was always something of a health leper in their eyes. Bad allergies leaving nose sealed with crusted snot, always breathed mouth open tongue out. As he got older some exotic genetic condition withered his muscles down. Lots of muscle loss in legs, to the point he was dragging himself around,hobbling. Best we could do was place his food nearby his favorite bushes where he could easily get it. He recovered from the worst of that and regained his ability to walk, but you could tell it pained him + with his respiration problems he was just in bad shape. Went on for near 5 yrs like that and he suddenly died.

    He was in pain from day one of his life. I have more cats than my budget can fit and couldn’t keep the poor guy on an iv his whole life $ wise because to me they aren’t so much pets as likeable creatures that will die if I don’t help so my own morals say I can’t not help putting them right in front of me.

    I’m happy he died. He got far too heft a dose of suffering and now he isn’t in pain. He wasn’t a burden and he did manage to have some good years, but he just aged so quickly and poorly with whatever he had against him he didn’t get a balanced scale. My oldest cat (23!), now thin and brittle as a rail but just genetically talented to survive most anthing let me know by crying at the porch door loudly. She’s stubborn and no patience for playfulness so they actually got on pretty well. Wrapped him in newspaper and buried him on the edge of my garden marked with a little stake and I always plant sunflowers at that spot for the critters. They love to roll around on the sidewalk and soak up sun so it seems a fitting choice.

    1. ahh this is so lovely to read. my little angel died last night too, but i really cant cope and im really surprised by the people who are so strong about such a topic.

  36. The pain of losing a cat, whom we considered as our child would never disappear. I lost mine more than a year ago. The pain, albeit not as raw as it was, is ingrained. I miss her everyday and still think about her more often than I should. I have adopted more cats after her passing, but yes, she is the reason I adopted more. I believe that is what she wanted for me: To not be alone and have more furkids.

    1. I have always had another cat or two to put my energies into; When Aunty Misty died, I got another choccy Burmese & called her Little Mist; I keep telling her that Aunty Misty wouldn’t like her doing this, or chasing 14yr old Honeybelle as if Aunty M. was looking down on her guiding her along; it really helps
      with the sorrow her passing has caused;

  37. Hello all
    I am a 70 year old guy ..
    and yes, I can cry, I am not ashamed to admit it….
    I lost me darling little ( cat ) girl one day ago she was hit by a car out side mt front gate
    I have not yet stopped crying and can not accept the fact she is gone
    I have made her a little coffin and lined it with her favourite fluffy blanket and have buried her in the garden where she most loved to lay on ahoy day
    I am still waiting for her to come in the door for her dinner and nightly cuddles and also not having her on my bed at night is heartbreaking,
    I had her for 9nuears and gave her all the home comforts and love possible to give and she repaid me in kind, we were soul mates
    now I feel empty, lost and I have given up on everything ,
    and I keep saying
    why did this happen why.
    will I get over this, because at the moment I can not see this happening
    my heart is broken and I am lost
    god love my little angel

    1. Aw Dennis I am so sorry I’m just sat here now reading your story and cryin at the same time its heart breaking my cat jack was killed by a staffy a week today we. Buried him in our garden I know what your going through remember the good times. Jack’s brother is still with us and pining for him were thinking of gettin a companion for him soon.

    2. I lost my cat 8 days ago. She was hit by a car whilst out on her travels. She didn’t die instantly as managed to crawl under a neighbour’s car, which the thought of absolutely kills me. Plus the fact that the person who hit her didn’t even stop – she may have been saved if they had and had taken her to a vet. I spent two days searching for her and put leaflets through all the doors in my surrounding block which led to me finding out what had happened. Fortunately the neighbour still had her body so I was able to have her back and get her cremated. Although I have three other cats the loss is excrutiatingly painful and I cannot stop crying. I’m even crying as I type this. She was coming up to being 3yrs old and didn’t have a good start in life. I originally rescued her as she was living under someone’s shed as had been abandoned. They said she just turned up looking extremely skinny and they began feeding her up and were looking to find a loving home for her. She was only 5 months old when I got her. I put up cat fencing to try and keep her in my garden but she was very unhappy not being able to access the big wide world and eventually found a weakness in the fence so I let her roam which made her happier. It didn’t make me happy though and I always knew I would lose her as she was so mischevious, adventurous and confident, but I had hoped to have had her longer in my life. The other cats have been behaving strangely and my tom cat who used to play fight with her has constantly been looking at the areas where she used to sleep searching for his playmate. I’m not sleeping and feel sick all the time and when I do eat I’m just eating rubbish. You feel like this will never end. I have been through this before and you never forget your furries when you lose them and eventually will be able to look at photo’s and talk about them fondly, but it takes time. I wouldn’t recommend getting another cat straight after losing one but after a little time it does help to adopt another furry as you suddenly have a new friend to look after who will become a piece of your heart and it will help mend the gaping hole thats been left, but will not in any way be a replacement. A new furry will once again give you a purpose in life and hopefully a good few years of fun, love and happiness. Although I’m not religous I believe we will all be reunited with our beloved cats once again, and that’s what keeps me going…

      1. Susan Marie – Muffin – SWEET SWEET Cat – Smile/Purr in Heaven

        Reading the bible…, I believe all of God’s Creatures that have a ‘soul’ go to heaven…, so as I am grieving now over MUFFIN…, I believe this with all my heart…, for the Bible says that GOD mourns each and every creature…, down to the sparrows…, I know it is hard…, losing a cat in such a violent manner…, my sweet ‘Nicki’ was killed brutally by two large dogs…, so Muffin I wanted her to die in her sleep, but when I saw the pain in her eyes…, wasting away…, I had my husband take her to the vet to get put to sleep…, I said my goodbyes…, but it hurts now as I write this…, but Muffin was such a SWEET cat…, that gave me so much affection…, I could not bear the thought of watching her die inch by inch…, Human Beings can die of depression and/or what not…, or heartbroken over such beautiful creatures that each cat is unique…, a SPECIAL Gift for each moment BUT HEAVEN is wonderful for them too:)

      2. I lost my little black and white boy yesterday – he was hit by a car. A kind person took him to the vet but I can’t bear the thought that he was probably in terrible pain before he died. I still have his little sister who’s grieving and I have to be strong for her but I’m still very tearful. What makes it worse is that he was only 22 months old.

    3. Hi Dennis, so sorry for your loss. We too lost our beautiful Thomas at the weekend after he was knocked over and left in the road. He was only 2 years old and has left us all completely devasted…we have his sister Tilly, who seems to be very sad too. Time is a healer and good memories last forever xx

    4. Dennis – I’m very sorry to hear of your loss and I can relate. I’m a 50-something guy and I’ve cried over losing my little girl too. I’ve been stoic my whole life and haven’t shed a tear when loved ones died, but my little cat friend was somehow different. We said goodbye on August 27th. It’s easier when I can think about her personality and quirks and all the joy she brought. I hope you find peace.

    5. I am in the same situation, my baby Goldie was hit by a car tonight right in front of our house. She loved being inside but she also would cry to go wander outside each day. We are heart broken, like not Ok, I have 3 children who are Dr estates and can’t stop cryi g also. What do I do?

  38. My beautiful Dora died last week. She was with me for sixteen amazing years and I feel so empty inside without her. My other two kitties have comforted me and I them, but it’s still very hard to accept she’s gone.

  39. Thank you so much I’m going through this now my pet died Monday three days ago to 28th her name is Lola Hazel Abigail Walker she was nine years plus she died suddenly so this article really help me because I’m grieving I’ve been crying back-and-forth I can’t grasp why so Sudden her death but I’m anxiously waiting for her ashes and hopefully looking forward to adopting again a addition a new cat as soon as possible
    Lola will be forever in our ????If ❤️Could have save you Lola you would live 4 Ever

    1. My cat Callie Trevino Just passed away an hour ago.. I was at a friend’s house when I was woken up by a phone call. My mother called my cell telling me.. Get here now. I was roughly 45 min away. While driving she called again. ” Callie just died”………… I finally arrive home to see my mother and sister beside Callie who was wrapped in a towel. I’m becoming emotional. I do not deal with emotions. I do not have emotions. I still have no idea how to feel. I am to this moment still sad.. I find it hard to think…. While digging her grave my shovel breaks so now covered in sweat and tears, I head to lowes for a new shovel. Thinking “man I only use a shovel to bury pets” I arrive home to finish digging the bottomless hole. Still emotional thinking (This is becoming too real I’m about bury my fury child) My family goes inside the house and grabs Callies Daughter. Then we have a little funeral. My other Cat Koco is still wining loudly. I often hear from ignorant people how animals (dogs, cats, horses, rabbits, cows) Do not feel, they have zero emotions… I feel they are wrong… I shouldn’t but I have called out of work…..

      1. The feel in of losing your beloved pet is heart wrenching we buried or baby boy yesterday I can’t eat or sleep he was ripped apart by a staffy

        1. Tina, how unbelievably horrific it must have been for you to experience such an awful way to lose your cat. I am so terribly sorry for your tragedy.

      2. Caleb, you do feel… you are feeling. You are sad. You are grieving. You feel lost. You were so upset you couldn’t go to work. Those are all feelings Caleb. Let the sadness come… in time it will lessen. Don’t expect to feel ‘normal ‘ so soon after your loss. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve for your Callie.

    2. What a lovely tribute to Lola! It is obvious you loved her dearly. How generous of you to open your heart to another needy kitty. That will be a lucky cat! Take care.

  40. Lisa, Juan, Nicole and Chris….i am so sorry for your losses. You obviously loved and cherished your cats very much. I lost muy beloved Mozart a while back and I know the pain can be excoriating at times… and Lisa, i understand your anticipatory grief. All i can say is that there ate many people who care… and that the horrible pain and loss and grief will slowly get better. Hang in there. Treasure your cats entire life… funny just think about the last week or days or hours. You will get through this. I promise.

  41. Thank you for writing this! My 16 year old whitesox has been on/off sick with ckd lately. I know the end is way too near, whether it’s 5 days or 5 years. My sister told me that he “just a cat” and my heart nearly broke from hearing it. I love him so much that the thought of losing him makes me crumble into a million pieces. We all love our pets, they are part of our families, too! I plan to enjoy every moment of every day that he’s still here with us, but it’s great to have something to refer to when the inevitable happens.

    1. Susan Marie – Virginia

      Lisa G:) – I am in tears now…, our cat Muffin is a Tiger Cat…, such a SWEET Loving Cat…, never hurt anyone in her life…, she was definitely a ‘princess’ type…, always walking with pride like a Clydesdale Horse…, today or recently…, she is now skin and bones…, and her eyes are so dilated/lopsided…, like she is in pain…, she has always been very skinny underneath all that fur…, and she would meow endlessly…, very active…, loved to get her hair brushed constantly meowing/purring with gratitude and her eyes lit up with appreciation…, now she barely lifts her head…, called a Veterinarian and that office seemed to transfer/direct us to Police Animal Control Center…, ‘threatening’ to pick up our cat…, We live in Fairfax County/VA…, and have a ‘complaint’ against the above for Police/Sheriff ‘harassment’…, which I have been stressing …, now I realize that Muffin may no longer be here…, my husband took her to a different Veterinarian…, hoping the results will be stomatitis or something that is curable…, however, the neighbors (with dogs) don’t like me opening the door to our (indoor – two cats) for sunshine and watching the birds behind a glass front door (Safety for the birds:)…, Neighbors can be so CRUEL too…, want their dogs to be able to ‘go everywhere’…, anyways, my other cat is (very chunky/fat:) but she is not the ‘sweet one’…, but they were very close and ‘partners in crime:) so to speak…, should I get a new kitten right away or wait and see…, I am worried, Muffin’s eyes were very lopsided and/or neurologically unfocused like my cat that got attacked by a unfenced/leashed dog (Humane Society insisted that our dogs be collared/fenced in but not the neighbor’s dogs that ‘caught’/snatched/killed my elderly cat…, also our properly leashed/fenced dogs were lunging at the neighbor’s dogs allowed to run around the neighborhood…, anyways our collared/leashed dog hung herself…, and then the Humane Society (whom had different rules for us…) tried to get us for cruelty to animals…, the grieving process is hard enough without neighbors …, complaining and/or jealousy? not sure…,

    2. Lisa – I understand very well how you feel. I was able to prepare myself, thanks to seeing friends go through their losses and, more recently, reading this article. I would say out loud to Junior “every day is a gift” and I didn’t take for granted the time I spent with her or mind being summoned to her side by those indignant “MEEOOW”s. I’m so grateful to have those memories. I hope the day you have to say goodbye is a long time from now. My day came two and a half weeks ago and was one of the most wrenching periods of my life, but the reflections in this post remind me to smile over her quirkiness and be grateful for the 17 years that she had with my wife (I came along later). Your sister, or for that matter, my best friend, may not understand (nor did I before Junior came into my life) know that many of us do. That’s a comfort to me, and I’m happy that you have time to love and appreciate your special friend!

  42. Two days ago I lost my 16 years old cat Nino. And I´m completely devastated. I´ve been crying my soul the last 48 hours and without no doubt, these are the saddest days of my life. I miss him so much… he was my best friend, he was my brother. I don´t know what I want to do right now with my life. I know I loved him with all my heart. He has to be in cat´s heaven or other cool place, because he was just wonderful and I wish him the best up there, but I can´t help myself, I miss him so much that I have a hole where I had a heart 2 days ago. I know I will love him forever. I won´t ever forget him and as soon as possible I´ll try to celebrate his life. He was the coolest ever. I will always love you Nino!!! And I promise you that someday we´ll be together, just wait for me and enjoy your new life wherever you are!!!! You were the best of my life, and you still are!!

    1. We have just lost our beautiful jack after 11 years he was our baby he was attacked by a dog last week we tried to keep him alive at the vets with operations Tec but he developed septis we had to have him put to sleep we buried him in the garden Monday it was heart wrenching I wake up every morning with a horrible raw feeling in my heart I hope it fades .I’m going to remember the good times. I feel for every cat owner . The way he died makes me feel even worse I can’t eat.

      1. Susan Marie – Fairfax County/VA*

        Read the above from Susan Marie:) – Fairfax Virginia…, we take care of our pets and love them/cherish them only to see them ‘attacked/killed by dogs…,’ my cat was elderly and apparently her ‘teeth’ had come loose/fallen out when she tried to defend herself…, the large dog (two of them) had snatched/grabbed and/or shook her to death…, I was watching horrified…, months prior we had contacted /complained the San Bernardino County/California’s Humane Society about those dogs running loose…, and the police/sheriff/veterinarian wanted to ‘retaliate’ against us/charge us and/or had different rules for us …, there is a leash law in VA…, but see the above…, German Shepard size dogs against a cat…,

  43. Thank you for this. I recently lost two of my cats, Erin and Brookline, who were with me for 16 years, within 9 days of each other. I miss them both so much. Luckily I have not heard “it’s only a cat” and most of my friends and family seem to understand that Erin and Brookline were part of the family.

    1. Yes thank you. I just lost my Jellybean of almost 17 years. Beautiful Siamese Queen. She was so proud and finnicky. We got her June 11 2001 and assumed to be born in Jan or Feb. Lost her Aug 26 2017 to renal failure. I have a feeling that anyone knowing what I’m going through would say it’s just a cat. But I can’t help it. It’s killing me inside. She was like a baby to me. For so many years she would sleep in bed with us. Lay on my chest or side or near my chest and arm if I was on my side. Then to suddenly and abruptly lose that. Waking up Saturday not knowing you just had your last sleep with her. She stopped eating or slowed down again the day before. Saturday not much more. She would barely even eat fresh tuna which was her favorite thing on Earth. Other signs made us take her in and they discovered ulcers in her throat. Said that they could try this or that but at that point you’re making them suffer for your own peace of mind. We couldn’t do that. Everyone knows and us that we did the right thing. But I feel so horrible. I know it will pass but I don’t want it to. It’s like I don’t care then if I’m not upset. I bottle it up all day and let it out when I’m alone. I will miss her forever. And I’m sure you all will miss your little Jellybeans as well.

      1. Chris – I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, and feel the pain since we had to say goodbye to my little miss, who was just shy of 17, the next day (8/27). I hope you’re healing – not that the hurt will ever completely leave, but I keep going back to this post to find people who understand, and I think that helps me get through. I smile at lot when I think about her – the spunk, the catitude, the demands for attention, and the honor bestowed on me when she would flip for a belly kneading. Find peace, and be happy that you gave Jellybean such a great life!

      2. Chris

        I just lost my baby cat Benson. He had kidney disease too and was 20. I thought I would lose him to not eating or a seizure something like that. But he started mouth breathing and we didnt know what it was. I rushed him to the vet and he had a major attack – mouth wide open struggling to breathe. I noticed your cat had throat ulcers can you tell me what the symptoms were because I wonder if my cat had this??. On monday night he started breathing like that and we took him home and by saturday we made the decision to put him to sleep as he was stuggling to breathe on and off and couldnt get a proper sleep. It was heartbreaking and I miss him so much. He slept with us too and the house is empty without him. I thought your situation similiar to mine and wanted to offer you my sympathies too as we go through this difficult time.

        1. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Benson. God Bless you and please know so many of us cat lovers are with you in spirit.

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