In the ongoing quest for a life partner, I’m getting a lot more finicky. Look here, time is running out, so if the guy doesn’t like cats, just forget it! Behold my New Year’s resolution, okay? It’s born of my personal belief that men who don’t like cats are fearful of feminine, feline energy — and hence don’t make great dates, let alone mates.
Apparently, I’m not alone in this line of thinking. Dr. Laurie Nadel, author, psychologist, and animal reiki practitioner, puts it bluntly: “A man who doesn’t love cats is probably not fully a man.” Amen!
Here’s how relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle, the “30-Second Therapist” for Today online, sinks her claws into this subject: “As far as guys who dislike the feline energy, I suspect they are fearful of their own female traits (which all men have, as women have male traits). These are the guys who favor a macho stance, probably peppered with control. If your guy avoids feline energy, he needs to get in touch with his feminine side for you to get the loving you want. Otherwise, find a guy who embraces his female traits; he’ll make a better friend and lover.” Amen again!
Now for the challenge of actually finding such a guy. Is it possible that his species is rarer even than the fabled unicorn? In my experience, for whatever that’s worth, cat-loving human males have adopted certain feline traits. These include, but may not be limited to, quizzical aloofness, a tendency to be not overly demonstrative, and a dislike of PDA or corniness. They also tend to be Virgos (or at least have Virgo for a rising sign).
They may seem as rare as mythological creatures, but the cat lovers walk in our midst, they really do. Michael Ostrofsky of California is a cat lover who’s single (and a Virgo, no less). He even runs a company that produces high-end furnishings for felines and their people. Kinky Friedman of Texas is a cat lover who’s a confirmed bachelor. Not long ago, I met a lovely guy on OkCupid, an artist who proudly proclaimed, front and center in his profile, that he rescues cats in his spare time! We met for dinner, but he didn’t call again. Ah, online dating. He’s still on there, ladies, so when you come across him, pounce!
And, for that matter, so are many more of his ilk. Just let your cat be your guide, and you’ll find those elusive male meow-sters.
“Trust your cat’s intuition when getting to know a new man,” says Dr. Laurie. “If your cat hisses or acts suspicious of him, you need to be wary. But if your cat rubs against his leg, purrs, or jumps up on his lap, and your new man smiles, well, he’s a keeper. And if you observe a man who stretches with a similar elasticity to your much-loved cat, it is often a sign of affinity and affection for felines.”
Dr. Laurie recommends prowling around establishments where the martial arts are practiced: “Check out your local martial arts studio. A man who has trained in martial arts learns to move like a panther.”
OK, so there’s how to recognize Cat Guy — now, the hard part: How to go about snaring him without scaring him. Does one crack open a can of sardines, or make catnip potpourri, or what?
“I was out with a friend the other night who showed me a picture of his 3 ‘children’: the most gorgeous Siamese cats I had ever seen,” says Dr. Gilda. “He displayed them proudly. He was a gay guy with a dash of female feline energy that any woman would adore.” Ummm … dozens of adorable gay male friends, check. Now, how about something from column S?
Happily, Dr. Gilda has a five-step program for snaring a single, straight Catster.
“For the straight guys you like, learn from your feline friend at home:
1) Tread lightly on your ‘little cat feet,’ so you won’t trigger the scaredy-cat traits your guy might have hidden away.
2) Stretch slowly and seductively with a wink and a smile, as though your whiskers are about to whisk past your guy without touching him.
3) Be spontaneous and act unexpectedly in your responses to keep lover boy curious to discover what’s next.
4) Hide out in distant places so your guy will miss you, despite his calls and pleading of “Here, kitty.” Let him search high and low, and when he finally does find you, encourage his expression of gratitude.
5) And last, but not least, wear boots! There’s nothing like a Puss in Boots, especially if they’re thigh-high, to get your guy to wonder where your legs end.
In conclusion, she adds, “Turn the tables around, and let your cat train YOU to entice a honey. All you’ve got to do is mirror your furry friend’s demeanor. What a fun homework assignment that can be!”
Have you been lucky enough to capture a unicorn, er, eligible cat-loving man? Are you a bona fide Cat Guy? We want to hear from you. Please share how you did it in the comments!
Photo: Image of a magical unicorn against hazy sunrise with sun rays by Shutterstock