I Work at Home, Despite My Cats


I work from home, and since I’m the only human in the house all day, my cats congregate in my general office space. At least Cosmo and Phoebe do. Saffy, the sweet slug, stays upstairs on her bed all day, dreaming of catnip burritos and sausages.

I usually have a full to-do list and probably average about 11 to 12 hours a day engaged in writing-related tasks. I adore what I do and really try to stay productive, really I do. Sometimes, however, my cats have other plans for me, and I wind up becoming distracted. It’s all their fault, though. Completely.

Here are five ways my cats render me completely useless during the workday.

1. The stareway

This is the view from my chair about 25 times a day. Cosmo is always staring at me. Sometimes he wants to jump into my lap, and other times he just wants to stare. Needless to say, it’s challenging to concentrate when you feel little kitty eyeballs boring into you. I wish he could open his mouth and talk with human words — not only because he could tell me what he wants, but because a talking cat would be totally cool.

2. Cute breaks

Why do they have to look so cute?? It’s a total diversion! If I get up to go to the bathroom or grab some coffee and see a cat looking ridiculously cute, I have to stop and pet the kitty. Or lie in the sun beside the kitty. Or accidentally fall asleep in the sun beside the kitty. See what I mean? They totally make me waste valuable work time!

3. Keyboard chaos

Phoebe likes to be my supervisor and often parks her little butt right beside my laptop. You see, she wants to be able to censor anything unflattering I might write about her. If she decides she doesn’t like what I’m typing, or she’s bored, or she just feels like it, she takes a stroll across my laptop’s keyboard. Not pretty, especially when she causes me to lose work or accidentally sends an inappropriate IM to my son’s math teacher. The latter never happened, but wouldn’t it be funny? Not.

4. Swat team

Like I mentioned, Phoebe likes to get all up in my business when I’m working and Cosmo is on and off my lap. When they’re both at it at the same time, it’s the perfect recipe for complete distraction. Not only does Pheebs like to tromp across my keyboard, she also amuses herself by swatting pens, paper clips and lip balm onto the floor. She’s like a busy toddler.

5. Lapping it up

Several times throughout the day I somehow find a cat in my lap. They jump on and off all day long and — dang it! — they start purring and get all snuggly, and then what am I supposed to do? I have to pet them and whisper sweet nothings into their fuzzy little ears. How can I possibly stay focused on work? Geez.

See what I mean? I could get so much more done if my cats weren’t around! I’m become completely distracted and it’s all their fault.

Honestly, however, I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I still want a talking cat.

Do your cats distract you from being productive? Tell us about it in the comments!

About the Author: Angie Bailey is a goofy girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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