I love spending time with my cats. They’re a joy and a constant source of love and entertainment. I usually have one kitty in my lap and at least two nearby when I’m at home. Because we’re physically so close to one another on a daily basis, I’ve become used to many of their typical behaviors. Just the other day I was thinking about some of the things my cats do in my presence that I’d not be so quick to let humans do. Here are five of them, and funny pictures to go along with each one.

1. Randomly lick my arm

While I hold Cosmo, he sometimes leans over and licks one of my arms. His rough tongue usually startles me, but he keeps going with the arm bath, and I don’t stop him. I think these surprise cleanings are super cute, but I can’t imagine a person randomly leaning over and licking my arm while I’m watching TV or working on the computer. “Startling” would be kind of an understatement.

2. Steal my clothes

When I was in high school and college, my friends and I often traded clothing — it was fun to have an extended wardrobe! I don’t know that anyone ever stole one of my garments, but we definitely shared rotating closets. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t really trade clothes with anyone anymore — and certainly none of my friends steal anything. At least not to my knowledge.

You know who does steal my clothes? My cats. They plop right on top of them, leaving me cold and jacket-less on occasion. Would I let humans sit on top of my clothing, leaving me cold and jacketless? Nope.

3. Sit on top of my office equipment

Phoebe regularly perches on top of my printer or laptop. She looks adorable when does this. Would my husband look so cute crouched on my office equipment? He’s cute, but not that cute. It would be a fantastic photo op, though — if I knew my printer would remain intact and functional.

4. Lick their behind

Plenty of butt-slurping happens when my cats bathe themselves, and the sound isn’t really one of my favorites. I can tell you unequivocally that I do not want to see or hear a human lick his or her own behind.

5. Snuggle up while I use the bathroom

Like most cats, mine enjoy spending leisurely time in the bathroom while their humans go about their business. When I’m using the loo, Cosmo likes to either curl up in my lap or loaf up between my feet. I’ve never minded this strange sort of intimacy, but somehow can’t imagine a good friend sitting in my lap or snuggled between my feet. I have some close friends, for sure, but I don’t think any of them are that close.

Are there things your cats are allowed to do that you’d never allow a human to do? Tell us in the comments!

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• Do You Ever Wish You’d Given Your Cat a Different Name?
• What if Cats Held Office Jobs? Worst. Cubicle Mates. EVER!
• 3 Ways You and Your Kids Can Help Big Cats

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.