Cats have a natural sense of superiority. It’s like they’re always wearing a foam “I’m No. 1” finger, except they wouldn’t be caught dead in something they’d probably describe as “tacky.” They’d much rather eat the foam, anyway. And the finger part? They give us “the finger” without giving us “the finger,” right? In other words, they think they’re way better than us lowly humans. In many ways, they’re probably right.
Here are six cats who are loud and proud about their supremacy.
1. “No, you move”
Um, I think you’re gonna have to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Can’t you see how comfortable I am? Why in the world would you want me to move when this is clearly my spot. You must be delusional.
Oh, there are a few inches on the edge of the mattress. Feel free to take that. You’re welcome.
You snooze, you lose. I know you weren’t snoozing, but you might as well have been because you weren’t paying attention, leaving me the opportunity to take what’s rightfully mine. Don’t even try and argue because it’s an unwritten rule that every chair in the house belongs to the cat — especially ones that are still warm from human butts. Actually, it MAY be a written rule, but I’d need some time to look into it. Whatever the case, this is my chair, so buh-bye.
3. “You’re eating before me?”
Something is terribly wrong here, and I think you know what it is. In other words, how dare you prepare your own meal before serving me? Your priorities are all out of whack. Don’t you know how important it is that I eat on time? “On time” means “before you.” Do you want me to starve? I think you want me to wither away while you warm up last night’s lasagna for your greedy self. It’s going to happen. Watch me — I’m withering.
Feed me. Now. Now. Now. Now.
4. “I’m busy with these books”
I’m quite comfortable, thank you very much. I appreciate your asking. You didn’t ask? Well, I knew you were wondering, so there you go. This stack of books is a lot more comfortable than you’d imagine. I just might fall asleep here if you’d go away and leave me alone. You need the books? But why? I obviously need them more than you do. Look at me. How could you even think about disturbing my comfort? You know what? You’re kind of a monster. I thought I knew you, but I clearly don’t. Now go away, I’m busy with these books.
5. “Go look inside your shoe”
So you think you’re all that because you removed the laundry from the basket, just as I was getting ready to jump inside and settle in for a nap? You think you’re pretty clever, right? Wrong. I’m always one step ahead of you, so forget about trying to pull one over on me. I’m a bazillion times smarter than you are, and you’ll never out-cat me. Still unsure of what I’m talking about? Go look inside your shoe. Right now — go and look. I think you’ll see I’ve left you a reminder of who’s really in charge here. Any questions? I thought not. You can return the laundry to the basket now.
6. “I’m not feelin’ it”
You need to brush your teeth? Yes, you certainly do. How much coffee do you drink anyway? I’m still lounging, so you’ll need to find another sink, or brush your teeth in the bathtub or something. I’d get up, but I’m just not feelin’ it. But for sure get those teeth brushed. Yikes. And maybe have a dozen breath mints. KTHXBAI.
Does your cat think he or she is better than you? Tell us in the comments!