Get

In Your Inbox

Catster is reader-supported. When you buy via links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission at no cost to you. Learn more.

The Battle of the Sexes – Which One Makes A Better Pet?

Share

The Boyz

Hi, I’m Dr. Karyn! Read my introduction to learn more about me and meet my five hilarious cats: Clutch, Cyril, Alex, Zelda, and Zazzles.

I may be opening a can of worms here, but I’m never one to shy away from a controversial topic. I will also preface this by saying that there is no scientific data that can prove or deny my view, but it does come from my experience with many, many, cats over the years. In fact, I can’t remember a time in my life when we didn’t have at least one cat.

So before we get into it, I’m going to give you my verdict, and it is one that my feminist soul hates to admit, but I have found that for me, males seem to make the best pets. Of course, that very much depends on the type of companion you are looking for!

Let’s get into it.

The Cats I Have Lived With

Including Quincy, my parents’ Siamese, who was there before I was born, I have shared my home with eleven cats in total. And with the exception of Quincy, they have all been moggies, and interestingly, quite an even spread of both male and female. I can’t tell you how many I have known and worked with, but it would be in the thousands.

Name Sex
1. Quincy ♂️
2. Bindi ♀️
3. Tiger ♂️
4. Muffin ♂️
5. Gilbert ♀️
6. Sullivan (Sully) ♀️
7. Clutch ♂️
8. Zazzles ♀️
9. Zelda ♀️
10. Cyril ♂️
11. Alex ♂️

Quincy and I weren’t the best of friends. When I was 4 years old, I tried to ‘help’ him when he was fighting the neighbor’s cat. As a result, he turned on me, leaving me rather bloody and scarred! Interestingly, this traumatic event did not put me off cats, but my relationship with Quincy never recovered!

Sadly, Bindi was not with us long enough to make a huge impression on 5-year-old me, as she met her end at a very young age after trying to cross the road towards the alluring smell of KFC. Fortunately, my parents decided that allowing cats outside was no longer the way to go after this.

I won’t go into a detailed history of every cat, but over the years, I have definitely seen some patterns.

Behavior Trends

Zelda is hopelessly devoted to Husband
Zelda is hopelessly devoted to Husband

Speaking only in generalities, I have personally found that male cats tend to be more outgoing, friendly to all, and generally more confident. By comparison, female cats seem to be more reserved, taking more time to assess the situation, and tend to latch onto one individual as ‘their person.’

That doesn’t mean that male cats are never skittish, or female cats are always selective with their affection, but these are characteristics that I have seen in my pets, my patients, and other cats I have known or heard about.

When you think about feline social structure, it does make sense.

It is the prerogative of the male to get out and sow his oats; the further he can range, the better his chances of fathering many kittens. As cats became domesticated over the last few thousand years, it would have served the Tom cats well to stay on the good side of humans to avoid being chased off with a broom. Courage and daring would be favored traits, allowing these lads to venture further.

For females, on the other hand, caution and wariness are the skills needed to keep yourself and your kittens safe. Befriending one or two humans may be useful, but you don’t want the whole village turning up when you’re trying to raise a family.

So Which Is the Better Pet?

The lads always like to be in the thick of things
The lads always like to be in the thick of things

There are no guarantees when it comes to the temperament or personality of a cat, and the more you try to shape them in one way, the more likely you are to get the opposite result. But, if there are particular traits that you would prefer in a feline companion, choosing the sex that suits your personality may get you one step closer to a perfect match.

Let’s lay it out with a pros and cons list:

♂️ ♀️
Pros Friendly towards groups
More playful and confident
More tolerant of other pets
Snuggly and attached to their ‘person’
Less chaotic once adults
Observant and emotionally intelligent
Cons Not as loyal
Less respectful of sleep
Can be demanding of affection
Often more flighty
Wary of strangers
More prone to stress

I like a bomb-proof cat with boatloads of personality who doesn’t mind having a houseful of animals and people. Sure, the boys will quickly abandon you for the comfiest-looking lap, but I also love seeing people enjoying my cats’ company, particularly one as convincingly friendly as Clutch!

But if you want a quiet and loyal cat who will shadow you and shower you – and only you – with affection, a female cat may be just what you need. She may not be so tolerant of noisy dogs or children, and a busy house might send her into hiding, but when everything has quietened down, you may get to experience the joy of being chosen by a cat.

Decide For Yourself

I have been chosen...whether I like it or not!
I have been chosen…whether I like it or not!

Your experience may be completely different to mine, and I’d love to hear about it! I certainly wouldn’t recommend choosing a cat based purely on my point of view. One of the best ways to ensure feline compatibility is to visit an animal shelter and meet an older kitten or adult cat. That way, you get a much better idea of their fully-formed personalities, with the added bonus that many shelter cats are so grateful for being given a loving home!

Want to weigh in? Drop me a line in the comments section below!

Dr Karyn's paw print signature

This article is a part of Dr. Karyn's series with her five hilarious cats.

Want content like this delivered to you?

Sign Up For Our Newsletter

News, insights, expert advice, and everything cat

* By submitting, you agree to our Terms & Conditions and Privacy & Cookies Policy.




How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate (you can leave written feedback after clicking submit)

Help us improve Catster for pet parents!

Your feedback really matters.

What did you like about this post? Also how can we improve it?

Join the conversation

4 Responses

  1. Hi! I’m Stefanie and a devoted cat mom. I’ve had multiple cats – as many as six at one time! – but now I have only one, Mikey. He’s 15 now and was one of the six in his early years. I’m wondering if we should consider a companion for Mikey?
    He’s an indoor cat and I’m retired so we have plenty of time together, but I wonder if he wouldn’t enjoy a full-time, four-legged companion too.
    What can I take into consideration in making the decision to bring another cat into our lives?
    Thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate your informative articles!
    With love and gratitude for our beloved felines,
    Stefanie

    1. Hi Stefanie Langknecht, thanks for your comment, we recommend reading through the following posts to help you consider the details and support your decision of what is best for you and your Mikey.
      7 Possible Signs Your Cat May Need a Feline Friend: Vet-Reviewed Introduction Tips & More – https://www.catster.com/cat-health-care/signs-your-cat-may-need-a-feline-friend/
      Is It Better to Have Two Cats (or More)? Factors to Consider & Tips- https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/having-two-cats-or-more/
      Is It Ok to Have Just One Cat? Vet-Verified Facts & Care Tips- https://www.catster.com/cat-health-care/is-it-ok-to-have-just-one-cat/
      What Are the Pros & Cons of Having Two Cats? Vet Approved Advice
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/what-are-the-pros-cons-of-having-two-cats/
      Best wishes!

  2. Can male and female cats coexist in the same household? We have a 16 yo male resident tuxedo. We adopted an 8 yo female tabby a month ago (12/17/24). The introductions are going very slowly.

    1. Hi Stacy yes they can, however, they must be neutered, otherwise you will end up with kittens sooner than you can think about it. Best wishes!

Leave a Reply

You’re very welcome to leave a comment or question. Please know that all comments must meet our community guidelines, and your email address will NOT be published. Let’s have a positive and constructive conversation.


Catster's Digital Magazine is Back!

Vet-approved health & behavior advice

Real cat stories & community features

Chatting About the Importance of Spaying/Neutering, Cat Retail Shopping Ban & Red-Level Storms | Chatty Cattys, Episode 30

In this episode of Catster’s Chatty Cattys podcast, Nicole and Dr. Karyn are celebrating a major legal win for pets before diving into...

Is Your Cat Happy? Here’s How You Can Tell

Cats have a reputation for being indifferent, even inscrutable. But despite their seemingly ambivalent appearance, cats experience many emotions, including happiness, and they...

Human Brains Age Like Cats – New Study Debunks the 7-Year Rule

If you’ve ever caught your senior cat staring blankly at a wall, wandering the halls at 3 am, calling out for no clear...

Chatting with Devin About Here! Have a Kitten, Fostering, & Why Two Are Better Than One | Chatty Cattys, Episode 29

In this episode of Catster’s Chatty Cattys podcast, Nicole & Dr. Karyn sit down with Devin, the founder and one-woman show behind “Here...

More related

Do Female Cats Have Periods? Heat Cycle Explained (Vet Answer)

If you own a female feline, you may find yourself asking “Do cats have periods?” The short answer to this question is no,...

What Do Cats Need in Their Diet? 6 Vet Verified Essential Nutrients

Cat owners want their beloved felines to live a long, happy life, and that long and happy life starts with nutrition. Cats are...

Domestic Longhair Cat vs Maine Coon Cat: Vet-Reviewed Differences (With Pictures)

At first glance, you may think that the Maine Coon and the Domestic Longhair Cats are the same. However, if you place them...

My Cat Ate a Chicken Bone! Here’s What to Do (Vet Answer)

For most cats, a chicken bone is a temptation that’s hard to resist! Wild cats often consume their prey without removing the bones,...

Keep reading

How Often Should You Wash a Cat’s Food & Water Bowls? Vet-Approved Advice

Keeping your cat’s food and water bowls as clean as possible is important. Cleaning them regularly can reduce the risk of dangerous bacterial contamination, which can lead to health issues for your pet. But how often should you be washing...

Washing animal food bowls under the tap in the kitchen sink.

Do British Shorthair Cats Shed More Than Average? Vet-Reviewed Breed Comparison & Helpful Tips

British Shorthair cats don’t shed more than average. Compared to other shorthair cats, their shedding is about even. Usually, they shed more during the spring and fall, when their coat is adjusting to the shifting seasons. You will probably find...

british shorthair

How Do Cats Choose Their Favorite Person? 5 Interesting Factors (Vet-Reviewed)

Anyone who’s ever lived with a cat and a few other people has probably witnessed the feline tendency to develop a particularly strong bond with one specific individual. It happens in families, and among friends—anywhere there are several humans and...

cat loving his owner

Why Does My Cat Sit on My Shoulder? 6 Vet-Reviewed Reasons & What to Do

If you’re lucky enough to have a cat in your home that craves attention and likes being around you, count yourself fortunate. There are cats out there who aren’t big fans of cuddles or being held. Then again, you have...

cat on woman's shoulder by head bite hair

How Much Wet Food Should a Cat Eat? Vet-Approved, Healthy Diet Advice

Many cat owners are unsure how much wet food their cat should eat; however, the answer is not as clear since it will all depend on your kitten. While there are recommendations, it is important to tailor the feeding amount...

cat eating wet tuna food

How Do I Choose the Right Toys for My Cat? Vet-Approved Tips & Guide

When you have a cat, you already know how important it is to make sure they have something to do. This is particularly true of purely indoor cats. Cats have a natural instinct to stalk and hunt prey, so without...

Young happy woman choosing toys for pets in pet shop

How to Safely Burn Incense Around Cats: 3 Vet-Approved Tips

Incense is a plant material that gives off certain scents when burned, and it’s been around for centuries. People use it for multiple purposes, such as meditation, getting rid of negative energy, relaxation, and aromatherapy. Incense is deeply embedded within...

lighted incense stick

Can Cats Drink Tea? Vet-Approved Nutrition Advice

Tea is a common beverage in many households, and it’s not uncommon to wonder if you can give some to your cat. It’s also not unusual for your cat to sneak a sip when you’re not looking, causing some concern....

Can Cats Drink Tea

Love Cats? So Do We! Join the Catster Community

Stay informed with expert pet care insights delivered straight to your inbox! Discover professional guidance on animal behavior, feeding tips, trusted product picks, and much more.




Sign up for the Catster Email Newsletter

Stay informed with expert pet care insights delivered straight to your inbox! Discover professional guidance on animal behavior, feeding tips, trusted product picks, and much more.