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The Battle of the Sexes – Which One Makes A Better Pet?

The Boyz

Hi, I’m Dr. Karyn! Read my introduction to learn more about me and meet my five hilarious cats: Clutch, Cyril, Alex, Zelda, and Zazzles.

I may be opening a can of worms here, but I’m never one to shy away from a controversial topic. I will also preface this by saying that there is no scientific data that can prove or deny my view, but it does come from my experience with many, many, cats over the years. In fact, I can’t remember a time in my life when we didn’t have at least one cat.

So before we get into it, I’m going to give you my verdict, and it is one that my feminist soul hates to admit, but I have found that for me, males seem to make the best pets. Of course, that very much depends on the type of companion you are looking for!

Let’s get into it.

The Cats I Have Lived With

Including Quincy, my parents’ Siamese, who was there before I was born, I have shared my home with eleven cats in total. And with the exception of Quincy, they have all been moggies, and interestingly, quite an even spread of both male and female. I can’t tell you how many I have known and worked with, but it would be in the thousands.

Name Sex
1. Quincy ♂️
2. Bindi ♀️
3. Tiger ♂️
4. Muffin ♂️
5. Gilbert ♀️
6. Sullivan (Sully) ♀️
7. Clutch ♂️
8. Zazzles ♀️
9. Zelda ♀️
10. Cyril ♂️
11. Alex ♂️

Quincy and I weren’t the best of friends. When I was 4 years old, I tried to ‘help’ him when he was fighting the neighbor’s cat. As a result, he turned on me, leaving me rather bloody and scarred! Interestingly, this traumatic event did not put me off cats, but my relationship with Quincy never recovered!

Sadly, Bindi was not with us long enough to make a huge impression on 5-year-old me, as she met her end at a very young age after trying to cross the road towards the alluring smell of KFC. Fortunately, my parents decided that allowing cats outside was no longer the way to go after this.

I won’t go into a detailed history of every cat, but over the years, I have definitely seen some patterns.

Behavior Trends

Zelda is hopelessly devoted to Husband
Zelda is hopelessly devoted to Husband

Speaking only in generalities, I have personally found that male cats tend to be more outgoing, friendly to all, and generally more confident. By comparison, female cats seem to be more reserved, taking more time to assess the situation, and tend to latch onto one individual as ‘their person.’

That doesn’t mean that male cats are never skittish, or female cats are always selective with their affection, but these are characteristics that I have seen in my pets, my patients, and other cats I have known or heard about.

When you think about feline social structure, it does make sense.

It is the prerogative of the male to get out and sow his oats; the further he can range, the better his chances of fathering many kittens. As cats became domesticated over the last few thousand years, it would have served the Tom cats well to stay on the good side of humans to avoid being chased off with a broom. Courage and daring would be favored traits, allowing these lads to venture further.

For females, on the other hand, caution and wariness are the skills needed to keep yourself and your kittens safe. Befriending one or two humans may be useful, but you don’t want the whole village turning up when you’re trying to raise a family.

So Which Is the Better Pet?

The lads always like to be in the thick of things
The lads always like to be in the thick of things

There are no guarantees when it comes to the temperament or personality of a cat, and the more you try to shape them in one way, the more likely you are to get the opposite result. But, if there are particular traits that you would prefer in a feline companion, choosing the sex that suits your personality may get you one step closer to a perfect match.

Let’s lay it out with a pros and cons list:

♂️ ♀️
Pros Friendly towards groups
More playful and confident
More tolerant of other pets
Snuggly and attached to their ‘person’
Less chaotic once adults
Observant and emotionally intelligent
Cons Not as loyal
Less respectful of sleep
Can be demanding of affection
Often more flighty
Wary of strangers
More prone to stress

I like a bomb-proof cat with boatloads of personality who doesn’t mind having a houseful of animals and people. Sure, the boys will quickly abandon you for the comfiest-looking lap, but I also love seeing people enjoying my cats’ company, particularly one as convincingly friendly as Clutch!

But if you want a quiet and loyal cat who will shadow you and shower you – and only you – with affection, a female cat may be just what you need. She may not be so tolerant of noisy dogs or children, and a busy house might send her into hiding, but when everything has quietened down, you may get to experience the joy of being chosen by a cat.

Decide For Yourself

I have been chosen...whether I like it or not!
I have been chosen…whether I like it or not!

Your experience may be completely different to mine, and I’d love to hear about it! I certainly wouldn’t recommend choosing a cat based purely on my point of view. One of the best ways to ensure feline compatibility is to visit an animal shelter and meet an older kitten or adult cat. That way, you get a much better idea of their fully-formed personalities, with the added bonus that many shelter cats are so grateful for being given a loving home!

Want to weigh in? Drop me a line in the comments section below!

Dr Karyn's paw print signature

This article is a part of Dr. Karyn's series with her five hilarious cats.

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4 Responses

  1. Hi! I’m Stefanie and a devoted cat mom. I’ve had multiple cats – as many as six at one time! – but now I have only one, Mikey. He’s 15 now and was one of the six in his early years. I’m wondering if we should consider a companion for Mikey?
    He’s an indoor cat and I’m retired so we have plenty of time together, but I wonder if he wouldn’t enjoy a full-time, four-legged companion too.
    What can I take into consideration in making the decision to bring another cat into our lives?
    Thanks so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate your informative articles!
    With love and gratitude for our beloved felines,
    Stefanie

    1. Hi Stefanie Langknecht, thanks for your comment, we recommend reading through the following posts to help you consider the details and support your decision of what is best for you and your Mikey.
      7 Possible Signs Your Cat May Need a Feline Friend: Vet-Reviewed Introduction Tips & More – https://www.catster.com/cat-health-care/signs-your-cat-may-need-a-feline-friend/
      Is It Better to Have Two Cats (or More)? Factors to Consider & Tips- https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/having-two-cats-or-more/
      Is It Ok to Have Just One Cat? Vet-Verified Facts & Care Tips- https://www.catster.com/cat-health-care/is-it-ok-to-have-just-one-cat/
      What Are the Pros & Cons of Having Two Cats? Vet Approved Advice
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/what-are-the-pros-cons-of-having-two-cats/
      Best wishes!

  2. Can male and female cats coexist in the same household? We have a 16 yo male resident tuxedo. We adopted an 8 yo female tabby a month ago (12/17/24). The introductions are going very slowly.

    1. Hi Stacy yes they can, however, they must be neutered, otherwise you will end up with kittens sooner than you can think about it. Best wishes!

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