Do Cats Hold Grudges? Vet-Reviewed Feline Behavior & FAQ

Few things are more upsetting to a cat owner than when their pet acts as if they were angry with them after they unintentionally hurt their pet, like stepping on their tail. While hiding under the bed after getting their tail stepped on is understandable, many pet owners worry that they will hold a grudge.

Fortunately, that’s not the case, and cats don’t really hold grudges like humans, but keep reading while we dive in to understand cat feelings a little better and talk about some ways you can get back into your pet’s good graces.

Can Cats Hold Grudges?

Holding grudges is a human characteristic that shouldn’t be attributed to cats. A 2024 study found that 86% of cat owners describe their relationship with their cats in anthropomorphic terms, which can sometimes lead to incorrect interpretations of their cat's behavior and neutral photographs of other cats. Owners with a more accurate understanding of feline emotions were better at interpreting the emotions of cats in the images.

Most owners will agree that their cats are quite forgiving and will not hold it against you if you accidentally step on their tail or kick them while you make your way to the bathroom at night. That said, cats are incredibly intelligent, especially about things they don’t like and things that try to cause them harm. While they might not hate you for putting them in the cage to go to the vet, they will remember that they don’t like the cage, and they will likely run and hide when you bring it out.

Cat Memory

Cats have complex memories, which make them remember things that are important for their survival. They can recognize their owners, other pets, their food bowl, and more, even if they haven’t seen them in a while. Their memory helps them form strong bonds with us but also protects them from danger, and it’s their memory of riding in the cage to the vet that will stay with them for life, not that you put them in it.

Intentional vs. Unintentional

Cats are extremely forgiving, and if you accidentally step on their tail, they may become vocal and run and hide temporarily, but they are unlikely to hold it against you and will come back out when you call them to say you’re sorry. The bond that you have won’t be affected by an accident.

However, in the case of small children who can get a little rough when playing, though they don’t mean to hurt the cat, their actions seem intentional, and your pet might run in fear, putting the child on their enemy list. Once the cat perceives you as a threat, it can be hard to change their mind. While this might seem like it’s holding a grudge, the cat probably doesn’t have any ill will toward the child. Instead, they see them as a threat to their safety, and cats put all threats to their safety in long-term memory for the preservation of life.

Single vs. Repeated Events

While cats will usually let you get away with something once or twice, they will make adjustments if something keeps happening, like kicking them off the bed while you are sleeping. While it might seem like they are holding a grudge, they are just protecting themselves by moving to another area.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can Positive Experiences Override Negative Ones in a Cat’s Memory?

The answer is yes in most cases. Although it can take some time, positive experiences can help reshape a cat’s perception and override negative associations.

How Can I Mend My Relationship With a Cat?

Patience, positive reinforcement, and creating a calm environment are essential to helping a cat feel more at ease. Gradual reintroduction, providing treats, and engaging in interactive play can help rebuild trust and improve the relationship.

Can a Cat Forgive and Forget?

Cats don’t have the concept of forgiveness that we have. They live more in the moment and react to immediate situations. Most of the time, forgiveness follows emotions such as disappointment or betrayal, which are considered complex emotions that pertain to the human world.

Conclusion

Fortunately, there’s no evidence that cats hold grudges the way humans do. However, they do often remember traumatic events for a lifetime, and if they consider anyone a threat because of something that happened, they will likely avoid the person for a long time. It can be slow and challenging to change their mind, not because they don’t like you but because they see you as dangerous, like a hot stove. However, you shouldn’t worry if you accidentally step on the cat’s tail or knock them off the bed because they are very forgiving and can recognize that you don’t intend to harm them. Though they may run and hide, they will usually come back out in a little while when you call them for treats.

Featured Image Credit: Akim Lakeev, Shutterstock