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Will the Heartbleed Web Security Bug Affect My Cat?

Stay safe with our Q-and-A about the Internet security threat known as Heartbleed and cats.

 |  Apr 10th 2014  |   4 Contributions


An untold number of websites have been subject to a major Internet bug called Heartbleed, exposing users' private information, including passwords and financial details, according to Mashable. It's being called one of the biggest security threats the Internet has ever seen.

Are you wondering how this affects your cat? Good for you. 

What is Heartbleed?

Heartbleed is a bug in the code running on the servers of millions of websites, which leaves open a hole in OpenSSL that allows Zzzzzz

Are cats currently affected by the Heartbleed virus?

No, not as far as we can tell. Although some cats may be sleeping more than usual, that may just be because they ate a large breakfast, or they found a sunbeam, or it just feels right.  

Are cats at risk of infection by the Heartbleed virus?

They may be. Picture a future where computers absorb living things, creating a cyber-organic race of mutant crypto-beings. That sort of thing. Coming this fall starring Sandra Bullock and Lil Bub.

Should your change your cat's passwords?

Absolutely. Head to all the sites your cat regularly visits and change her passwords. Go in late to work if you have to. Make sure you tell your boss exactly what you're doing. 

Why wasn't Heartbleed discovered until now? 

Well, actually, you know how your cat sometimes stands there and meows at you for seemingly no reason at all? That was Heartbleed. 

If my cat is running a website, how do I protect it? 

Do something with the OpenSSL. Like, bang on it or something. 

Has Heartbleed affected firewalls? 

I don't know what you're talking about.  

Are cats still safe on the Internet? 

Yes. You don't see Grumpy Cat sweating this, do you? Let your kitty LOL. 

But my cat is a fatcat not a LOLcat.

Oh, a banker? Got any stock tips? I've got 17 bucks burning a hole in my pocket. 

When can I stop worrying that my cat's heart will bleed?

Well, to be safe, you should always be worrying if your cat's heart will bleed. Hey, I just had a thought -- your cat's heart could be bleeding right now.

Setting aside cats for a moment, is there any place I can go to find out what passwords I need to change? 

Yes! Go to Mashable's story, The Heartbleed Hit List: The Passwords You Need to Change Right Now.

Back to cats: Now, did this happen because I let my cat lick the computer screen?

You're the one? I'd get on a plane if I were you.

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