It’s the weekend, so it’s officially time to eat too much and sleep all day — and don’t even think about feeling guilty. According to humans, these behaviors might fall under a subset known as “the seven deadly sins,” but your cat just calls them “a nice little Saturday.”
The next 48 hours are yours. Go ahead and live a little — but first, let the experienced cats in these videos show you how it’s done.
We’ve all watched our cats eat too much, throw up, and then walk straight back to their bowl for round two — either that, or they eat their puke (ew). The speed and enthusiasm with which the cat in this video devours an entire slice of watermelon certainly earns him a spot among the world’s most gluttonous gluttons — including my cat Bubba Lee Kinsey, who loves cereal more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life.
BONUS: Check out this mind-bendingly adorable little melon-glutton-in-training.
Each morning at the sick and twisted hour of 5:30 a.m., my cat Phoenix starts meowing at our bedroom door, demanding to be fed. After she’s inhaled her own food, she’ll move on to Bubba Lee Kinsey’s bowl, pushing him out of the way and finishing his breakfast whether he likes it or not. This video proves that when it comes to food, Phoenix is not the only one whose greed trumps her sibling’s need for sustenance.
When it comes to sleeping all day — and I’m talking literally not moving for like five hours straight — cats know a thing or two about a thing or two. Even face down in a flower pot or belly up on a foosball table, the cats in this video prove that sloth is tops.
This amazing video of hero cat Tara saving her young human from a vicious dog attack is pretty much the ultimate expression of feline wrath.
The feline version of “keeping up with the Joneses” would look something like this video, in which all of the chin scritchies, treats, and attention must be mine and all mine, and NO YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY. The best part: A cute, fluffy kitten wearing a tiny top hat inspires such jealousy in an older cat that he slaps the hat right off the kitten’s head. This is how I feel whenever I see a woman whose hair is not a frizzy mess.
I have watched my cat Phoenix fall off of tables, walk into walls, and run terrified from a whistling tea kettle. But instead of admitting to her embarrassment, my prideful kitty just shrugs it off by nonchalantly washing her face, jumping right back on top of that table, and resuming her nap. As this video shows, even when you suffer the ultimate humiliation, you should never admit defeat.
Anyone who has lived with a cat and and dog simultaneously knows that even when your pets are appropriately spayed or neutered, sometimes things can get a little, uh, weird. When I was a kid, our Jack Russell Terrier, Eddie, used to randomly sneak up on our cat, Sweets, and try to, uh — well, you know. In any case, Sweets wasn’t having any of it. So instead of awkward animal porn, here’s a video of two cats snuggling that will make you melt in a completely different way.
Which of the deadly sins is your cat’s favorite? Tell us in the comments!
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About Angela: This not-crazy-at-all cat lady loves to lint-roll her favorite dress and go out dancing. She also frequents the gym, the vegan coffee joint, and the warm patch of sunlight on the living room floor. She enjoys a good cat rescue story about kindness and decency overcoming the odds, and she’s an enthusiastic recipient of headbutts and purrs from her two cats, Bubba Lee Kinsey and Phoenix.