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5 Easy Tasks That My Clingy Cats Make Complex

My cats' boundaries are way smaller than mine, making it hard to type, roll over in bed, and read.

Angie Bailey  |  Jul 14th 2016


Our kitties love us, and most of them enjoy snuggle time with their favorite humans. I’m not complaining! I love kitty cuddles with my Cosmo and Phoebe, but sometimes clingy cuddles can become a little distracting when I have a task at hand. And those distractions can have a way of flat-out complicating processes. It’s not that I don’t adore the cuddles — they’re just not always convenient. Friends, allow me to demonstrate with five examples of tasks made complicated by clingy cats.

1. Rolling over in bed

"There will be no rolling."

“There will be no rolling.”

Although I love slumbering away with a curled-up kitty, a cat isn’t really my ideal sleeping partner. I’m someone who changes position often while sleeping. In case you haven’t noticed, cats don’t like to be moved while they’re snoozing. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t either, but the subject of this post isn’t “Angie doesn’t like to be moved while she sleeps.”

Because Cosmo and Phoebe often enjoy plastering themselves against me at night, it’s impossible for me to roll over without disturbing them. And they look so peaceful! But still, my back insists I shift positions a number of times during sleep. I put it off until my back’s alarm will no longer accept my “snooze” button, and when I do carefully and gently move a cat or two, they aren’t at all pleased. No way. In fact, they grumble the entire time, and then, as soon as I’m in my new position, they reclaim their plastered positions and the whole shebang repeats itself a couple of hours later.

2. Reading

"How about the story about how you stopped reading and gave me some treats?"

“What about the story of how you stopped reading and gave me some treats?”

What is it with cats and books? Nearly every time I pick up a book, I also inadvertently pick up a cat in my lap who wants to rub his face all over the book’s pages. And even if he decides lay off the face-rubbing, he wants to sit in such a position that he’s blocking part of the pages. So I have to either move him, contort my body to read around his feline blockage, or simply imagine the blocked page’s content. The last option’s a little dangerous because who wants to take liberties with Stephen King or the Dalai Lama? Sometimes my cats give me no choice.

3. Bathroom “business”

Pee pal.

Pee pal.

Based on conversations I’ve had with other cat parents, I know my cat’s not the only one who insists on sitting in my lap while I have special toilet time. Every morning, Cosmo is a fanatic about plopping (haha) his fuzzy body right on top of me. And he wants to sit toddler-style, with his back legs stretched out in front of him. He never, ever sits like that any other time. In fact, he flips out if I try to initiate such a laptop pose. I actually enjoy this odd time we share because he purrs and settles into me. It’s sweet. But then things like wiping come into play and things get awkward and slightly challenging.

4. Sorting paperwork

Apparently envelopes make excellent pillows. Who knew?

Apparently envelopes make excellent pillows. Who knew?

I don’t know about you, but I tend to accumulate piles of things — you know: bills, flyers, coupons, junk mail, invitations, cards, and other assorted paper items. Once the pile becomes so tall and unbalanced that it falls over, I know it’s time to sort through it and make important paper-related decisions regarding the importance and ultimate destiny of each item. Many go straight to the recycle bin, while some receive action of some kind, and others maintain their space in the pile because they might be important at some point (usually not).

Piles of anything are cat magnets, so of course as soon as I begin my paper-sorting project, in come the kitties. They want to be near me, but really they want to park their butts on top of my to-do-ness. Then it’s like a game of Jenga to pull pieces of paper from underneath them without upsetting their lounging situation.

5. Typing

"You don't need the 'Z' anyway."

“You don’t need the ‘Z’ anyway.”

Oh, yeah. This is the granddaddy of all tasks made complicated by cats. I work from home so my cats are with me all day long, with one almost always sitting flat against me or on my lap while I type. Cosmo usually starts by my side and then slowly inches his way on top of my lap, hindering my ability to type in a natural sort of way. I wind up moving my arms around him and pecking away in what is probably the least ergonomically healthy way ever to perform the task. I should start charging him for my wrist braces. I’ll take it out of his allowance.

In what ways does your cat make certain tasks complicated?