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i try to be good

ksssh

i swear to god, mommy is so dumb. i'm trying to tell her the cat box is full, and she looks at me and picks me up and gives me a hug. okay, i LIKED the hug, but i really had to go. so i go to the laundry basket and pee in there. ha! that got her attention. so THEN she yelled at daddy and THEN she saw that i totally spit up a rubber band (why do they leave the rubber bands where i can eat them, if they don't want me to eat them, i ask you AGAIN?) and THEN she freaked out. THEN she goes, "oh chakokoko, you're so smart, to pee on the clothes to tell me you want the cat box clean, you smarty smart smart, and i'm going to show this rubber band to daddy so he can learn his lesson.....grrr grrr grrr." so she cleaned the box and i went poop, but i'm telling you, mommy is such a dope.
and another thing, she didn't even mention SHARKY in my profile. I LOVE TO PLAY WITH SHARKY! she makes me look like a careless eater/sister abuser, when that's not at all true. i love my sisters, and in that photo where it LOOKS like i'm biting fred's ear, i'm NOT. i'm giving her a KISS.
kssssh

so i'm named after some star trek bastard

and this means i have to be good and smart all the time, but all i'm really good at, i guess, is throwing up (which i hate) and beating up fred. i'm sure glad they got fred, because fred likes to play where as my OTHER sister, audrey is some kind of princess. okay, so i have it pretty good really, cause they're both nice to me, and i can play rough with fred, but after a bath, audrey will lick me. but mommy and daddy NEVER take me in the car, unless it's to the vet, and audrey gets to go everywhere with mommy. she's been to grandma's house HELLA times, and to mommy's work, and to TARGET! okay, i've been to target too, but in the carrier. audrey told me mommy carried her and let her play on the conveyer belt. i guess they think i'll barf all over everything. i don't know. it's not my fault i barf all the time. THEY'RE the ones that let me chew on that goddamn ribbon that poked me in the stomach. sheesh, you know? mostly though, like i said, i have it pretty good. nice food, nice kisses, and i get to sleep right next to mommy whenever i want. i try to be good, but there are so many ornaments on that xmas tree i wanna play with--they should NOT put SO MANY TOYS out if they don't want me to play. i'll probably need like, HELLA therapy when i get older.