The Writings of the Divine Miss P.

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Not Much Longer!

August 23rd 2012 1:53 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. Not much longer to wait, kitties! It's almost here - my most favourite month on Catster!

Are you ready to set sail? Are you? Are you? ARE YOU???!!!

EEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Pirate Month on Catster is almost here!!!

Arrrrrrr!!!

Later kitties!

 

Catch of the Day

August 16th 2012 4:01 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. Please someone save me from this house! Save me from the embarrassment that is mother!

This afternoon mother went to the store to pick up a few groceries. When she was at the checkout one of her items wouldn't scan so the cashier had to call for a price check. Of course, everyone in the line behind her was giving her the stink eye. Finally the price was found and mother paid the cashier, grabbed the grocery bags and made a beeline to the exit.

When mother got home she opened the first grocery back and let out a big, loud shriek. Oh my ears! Inside the bag was a large trout! Mother does not eat trout. Mother does not eat intact fish. The sight of a dead, intact fish on her new kitchen counter makes mother shriek. Mwahaahaa!!!

The person who bought the fish must have left it behind and the cashier must have left it at the checkout hoping the "owner" would return for it. Mother must have grabbed the bag along with hers when she flew out of the store.

We would have LOVED a nice trout supper, mother. She had other ideas. There was no way mother was going to touch that thing let alone feed it to us. Since it had been out of refrigeration for a good long time mother wasn't about to return it to the store either. She put the trout back in the bag, went out and walked to a nearby park and dumped the trout in the garbage can there. OMC!! What a waste of de-lish fish!

*SIGH* Why do I have to live in this madhouse?

Later kitties!

 

A Half Glass Job

August 7th 2012 3:41 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. Mother was soooo excited last Friday. The last big item for her bathroom reno was scheduled to be completed - the installation of the shower glass.

Mother didn't even bother to lock us away last Friday. She knew we'd just ran to our hidey spots when the man came with the glass. Oh my. The summer of the reno was on the verge of concluding. All that remained were three panels of glass, some paint touch-up and the re-installation of the bathroom door. Our lives as we knew them were about to return to normal. OMC!

Well, the man installed the first panel. Then he installed the glass door panel. And then he said "Oh Oh"! He had brought a straight panel of glass just like the first one he installed. Except he needed one that went up and around the shower bench. Oh my. He was the one who came to measure for the glass over two weeks ago. Nothing in the shower had changed since he was here. Mother was seeing red. How did he manage to mess up so???

Oh my. Mother is still waiting for that final panel of glass. Maybe later this week....

Mwahaahaa!

Later kitties!

 

Summer Storm

July 31st 2012 2:38 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. It was bright and sunny and hot and humid this morning. Around noon the sky started to get dark. Thunder boomed in the distance. It was a dark and stormy night...
er...
I digress....

The sky kept getting darker and darker and then BOOM! It started to rain really, really hard. Thunder! Lightening! OOOOooooo, our first real summer daytime storm!!! It's been sooooo dry here. It rained hard one night last week but that's about it for this summer so far. Mother says she likes a summer storm. I'm not too crazy about thunder but I hope there was enough rain today to help out the farmers a little bit. They need to be able grow lots and lots of the stuff they feed to their chickens and their herrings so I can have my favourite yummy canned Wellness food! Oh my yes.

Later kitties!!!

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS to you-know-who}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

: (

July 28th 2012 3:01 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

*SIGH*

:(

 

Leaky Chicken

July 11th 2012 3:39 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. My little bro, Kovo, is such a BIG chicken and mother is so completely hopeless. Oh my yes.

Today Kovo managed to break out of his prison room while the workmen were here. Well, he took one look at them after he escaped and he ran and hid behind a bunch of boxes filled with kitchen stuff. Mother was anxious to get him out of there and back into his room. The front door is usually wide open while the workers are here and mother was afraid that little brat might get so spooked that he'd run right outside.

Mother did manage to grab Kovo. Although she told him not to be scared, that no one was going to hurt him, he wasn't listening. Really mother, haven't you figured out yet that none of us listen to you? A little dense are we? Anyway, my little chicken bro squirmed and clawed and scratched at mother to try to get her to let go. She hung on. Kovo lost it. He PEED down her arm! He got shut back in his room. Mother cleaned up.

Mwahaahaa!!! Way to go you little chicken!

Later kitties!

 

Soooooo Hot!

July 4th 2012 3:35 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. I know you thought the title was about me, kitties, but no, it's about the temperature. The humidex got up to 43C here today. Holy Catnip! I'm sizzlin'(in more ways than one)!

The good news is we have A/C. The bad news is mother won't turn it on while the workmen are here during the day. They did the bathroom demolition yesterday and today they did the carpentry work. Since they are in and out of the house every 5 minutes mother said running the A/C would be useless and a waste of money. Great! We're all stuck in our prison rooms in a thousand degree heat. Well, mother did put a fan in our rooms as well as aiming one at the bathroom but that didn't even come close to the coolness of A/C. Mother is soooo cruel.

I'd like to wish all my American pals a "Happy 4th of July". Watch out for eagle poop, kitties. *giggles*

Stay cool y'all!

Later kitties!

 

Happy Canada Day!

June 30th 2012 4:22 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. I hope all you kitties have a wonderful holiday tomorrow and Monday. Well, I guess most of you won't 'cause, like Victoria Day, you don't celebrate Canada Day either. C'est la vie!
*giggles*

Oh my. Isn't the 4th of July coming up soon? Where are the US flags in the gift shop? I'd like to send some flags to my pals. Oh my. Is Say Media a Canadian company?
*giggles*

I know a certain former New Mexican show girl is probably getting excited. She's looking forward to a visit from her favourite American eagle on July 4. Don't you worry, dear. That beautiful birdie won't disappoint.
Mwahaahaa!!!

Later kitties!

 

Not A Good Day

June 27th 2012 12:53 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. Today most of the kitchen was supposed to be done. Just the back splash was supposed to be remaining to do with some touch-up painting after the guys left today. Not happenin'! OMC!!

Everything that could go wrong went wrong today. Wrong paint, wrong countertop, wrong sink, missing plumbing parts. OMC!! The contractor was rushing here to see what the hay was up and he ended up getting 3 traffic tickets. MOL!!

The end result of today's misadventures in the kitchen mean that all us cats are gonna be stuck being in prison a little longer.

Wait, the news gets worse...

We're gonna be locked up a lot longer than we thought 'cause mother just informed us that she's getting the bathroom done now too. OMC!! We only have one human bathroom in this house.
Mwahaahaa!!!

Later kitties!

 

And The Contest Winners Are...

June 26th 2012 1:30 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Oh my oh my oh my. Before I announce the contest winners I want to first say how hurtful some of your comments were. To those of you who guessed that it was I who threw up on the floor, all I can say is how could you even think that let alone put such thoughts into writing? I'm crushed. Devastated. I'll be in therapy for years now. Oh woe is me!

As you all know, in addition to being beautiful, I am a purrfect and proper lady. A proper lady such as myself would NEVER hurl! NEVER! SHAME ON ALL OF YOU WHO SAID IT WAS ME!

Oh my.
*giggles*

Lets get on to the winners, shall we?

I am pleased to announce that it was my stinky bro, KOVO, who was the first to throw up on the new floor. It was not a simple hairball. No, it was a deluxe gooey mess of what was once his breakfast. He was a little piggy, ate too fast and subsequently anointed the new floor. Mwahaahaa!!!

So the following oh so clever kitties each wins TWO zealies. (Good luck collecting.)
*giggles*

*ZOEY*
*Pearl*
*Boogers*

Concatulations you winners. You know my bro, Kovo, well.
Mwahaahaa!!!

Latter kitties!

UPDATE:

Your prizes have been transferred to you, kitties. Let me know if they didn't arrive.

 
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