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Smokey's Thoughts

A Cat's Worst Nightmare

September 28th 2011 12:28 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

It has happened. Meowmy's neice has come to visit. She is staying with us for a whole week. Why is this a nightmare? Because Meowmy's neice is a *shudder* Veterinary Technician! Worse than that, she teaches other humans how to be Vet Techs at a college in Phoenix where she lives. She is passing on her evil knowledge and cat torturing techniques. Her whole life is dedicated to the evil practice.

Meowmy and Grandma, the traitors, let her into MY PALACE. She brought a man with her who she calls her fiance. Meowmy says that means they are going to get married. He pretends to be very nice and, heaven help me, I love the way he pets me, but let's think about this. He is going to marry a V-E-T person, so there must be SOMETHING wrong with him.

The very first day they were here I inspected their suitcases while they were out. I smelled five different cats! I couldn't find the cats,though, so I don't know what they've done with them. I shudder to think!

The next day the V-E-T person dared to pick me up. I went for her face. That stopped her. Or so I thought.

Later, I was minding my own business resting in the bedroom windowsill when suddenly Meowmy (traitor) and the V-Person appeared in the room. Autumn Amelia was sleeping on the bed and was easy prey so they grabbed her first and clipped all her claws.

I should have known. I should have seen it coming. But I was so enjoying watching the little brat get her claws clipped that I never gave it a thought. The next thing I knew the V-Person turned on me, grabbed me off the window sill and put me on the bed. She examined my nose and ears (which itch like crazy lately to the point where I have scratched them bloody)and she said to Meowmy, "looks like allergies. You should take her to the vet and get some meds for her.) WHAT?! Not only do I have to put up with a V-Person in my own palace, but I have to get in that horrible carrier and go to my vet's office, too?! It was all too much!

Next Meowmy (traitor)tried to hold me down while the V-Person tried to clip my claws. I am stronger and fiercer than prissy little Autumn Amelia. They could only get four of my claws before I got away. I managed to slap the V-Person before I dove under the bed. *grins at the memory*

The very next day, Meowmy (traitor) sneaked up on me while I was napping and whisked me into my carrier. I remembered the words of the V-Person: take her to the vet. Get meds.

I knew where we were going.

At the vet they did unmeowable things to me with a thermometer. Then they poked around all the scabs on my nose and ears. The vet said I have seasonal allergies (I get them every year)so she gave me a shot - yes, that's right - stuck a needle right into me. She said it would make me stop feeling so itchy, but that if we don't get a hard frost within the next two weeks I will probably have to get another one. I know humans control the weather. If there is no hard frost to kill my allergies between now and then and I have to get another shot, I will know for sure it is all part of their great conspiracy.

Then my traitorous Meowmy asked the vet to clip my claws. She told her how she and her neice had only been able to get four of them. So the vet got one of her minions to hold me down and they wouldn't let me go until all my claws were clipped. I've never hissed so hard in all my life, and believe me, I have hissed a lot in my time (living with Autumn Amelia causes uncontrollable hissing).

As if all of this was not bad enough, the vet actually brought out a camera and took a close-up picture of my scratched up nose. She said it's so that when my allergies come back next year she can compare it. A likely story. It was simply to embarrass the cat. Will the horrors and humilations never cease?!

She let it slip that the picture would be kept in my file. So... they are keeping a file on me, ay? I've always suspected a conspiracy involving those V-people and now I have the proof. Yet I find myself to be the main target, especially since one of their kind has invaded my palace. Notice that I had to go to the Vet because the neice told Meowmy (traitor) to take me. It was a set-up. She did not come here to introduce her fiance to us, nor, as she claims, to be in her friend's wedding. That was a clever ruse, but not clever enough for me. I've figured out that much. Now I just need to ferret out what sort of plans they have in mind. I suspect they want to do experiments on me to find the secrets of feline intelligence superiority over that of humans. Ha! That is not something they could ever understand.


Leave A Comment | 1 person already has

Purred by: Kerstin K

September 28th 2011 at 10:20 pm

don't wait any longer, smokey! do not try to find out the whole monstrostity of their conspiracies!


you'll get asylum here if you need a safe place.

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