January 12th 2009 4:06 pm
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My beloved Rogue,
Taking you to the vet today for "the final visit" was the toughest thing I've ever had to do. You have been such a good little kitty all your life: from when I got you in Raleigh fifteen years ago this month, right up until today.
And I know you have suffered these past months, as your asthma got progressively worse, and the renal failure took its toll on your body. As you have ever done when you weren't feeling well, you bore it silently and with grace. I knew when you had had a particularly rough day when I'd find you hiding.
I couldn't let you continue suffering just for the sake of my having more days with you; I promised you that when things got tough, I would show you kindness and not wait until you were suffering miserably. I know how rough the past few months have been for you.
Thursday, when I came home, and picked you up, and you were limp, I thought I lost you already. You had a rough night on Thursday, but you made it through the past two days and even had a pretty good day today. Thank you for those last memories of waking up with you beside my head on your familiar pillow, the morning cuddle, and your early afternoon soaking up the sunshine in your favorite window.
Your little "sister", Kaylee, was never a replacement for you. I'm sorry she couldn't give you more comfort in your last two months, but you have to excuse her, she is young and enthusiastic. She has been circling the apartment, trying to find you, since I got home.
Thank you, my beloved, for being a great cat for fifteen years. You were always so sweet and dainty and well-behaved, and everybody always thought you were an awesome cat. Thank you for being there through all the tough times in my adult life, for always having a comforting paw and a purr for me, and for loving me so unconditionally. You put up with cross-country moves, airline vacations and my odd working hours. I hope you felt I was a good mommy to you over the years.
Most of all, thank you for sharing your life with me, and making my life better, because you were in it.
I know you were dreading the vet visit today after the trauma of the last two visits in this past month. But the end was gentle, and you just went quietly to your forever sleep in my arms... and I went home alone.
I love you dearly and I'll always miss you. Say hello to Pepé and Mike and Snowflake and Nosy, and especially, keep Dad (your "grandpa") company. He always liked you.
Your human mommy
November 13th 2005 12:23 pm
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Winter is coming and to my disappointment, Mom has shut the windows, because it's been very windy. I like the wind, I like how it feels on my face and the smells that it brings, because although I'm a very, very content indoor kitty, I do love to be curious about the world around me.
My favorite place is wherever Mom is. You see, when I was just a kitten, nobody wanted me at the pet store. Mom had planned to get a shelter kitty but she was new to Raleigh and didn't know where to go, but she was in the mall to get some clothes for a job interview when she saw me in the pet store. I was already 12 weeks old, which is kinda old for a kitten in the pet store. Mom asked the guy about me, and he said I had been there three weeks and the people who had given me up said I was the only kitty in my litter. There were no other kittens available at the same time I was there but nobody else wanted me, maybe because I wasn't as cute as a younger kitten. I was all ears and tails, kind of an odd-looking grey cat.
But Mom knew. Mom knew I would grow up to be beautiful. And since Mom had left her past cat, Gatsby, with Grandma, where she knew he'd be happier (he was a BIG cat and a little apartment would not have made him happy, he loved Grandma and Grandpa). Mom thought I looked skinny, but she liked my fur, which was silvery-grey, with faint black rings around the tip of my funny tail, which always stood up straight as a flagpole, and I had such dainty little paws!
Mom started putting me on her pillow at night, because she knew she was an "active" sleeper, and she worried about rolling over on me at night. Well, I just loved that! I slept every night with a paw reaching out to touch her. I was so happy to have found a forever home, and my Mom clearly loved me so much and was going to take such good care of me! Later, when I got bigger, Mom tried to get me to sleep further down on the bed, because I was taking up her pillows, but I saw right through that and kept coming back to sleep on her pillows. Eventually she decided I wasn't going to budge and bought me my own pillow. I have her right in my paw, I tell you!
I'm a good traveller. I've lived with Mom in North Carolina, Connecticut, Chicago and California. As long as I'm with Mom, I'm happy. I don't need much, just my nice warm spot on her bed, a window to look out, my nice Science Diet food, clean water, and my awesome electric kitty box. I am a good, good kitty when I travel, and I have many frequent flyer miles under my paws.
Occassionally if Mom is going to be gone for a long trip to see Grandma and Grandpa, she takes me along, and I get to visit with my buddy, Gatsby. Gatsby is a big fella, he is almost twice my size and he's a big, gorgeous, orange tabby. He's very protective of his territory, and although we lived together for 3 years, the big lug can't seem to get it through his head that I just want to be close to Mommy and I'm not out to take his territory. Oh well, at least when he chases me around the house, it's exercise.
Mom sure was right when she took me home from the pet store, though. I grew up into an exotic, beautiful kitty, and she's very proud of me. I can do a trick or two when I'm in the mood, but mostly I love to be brushed and petted by Mom. I'm quite the little princess sometimes.
Oooh, Mom opened the window again - time for me to go look!