Cats are super cute, super cuddly, and super smart. You know what else they are? Superheroes. They don’t need capes (but CUTE!) to demonstrate abilities once seen only by those with seats at the Justice League. Our little house cats get their super powers on every single day. Here are six superhero traits that our adorable kitties possess.
Cat are quite adept at shifting themselves into various shapes, thus transmuting themselves into interesting objects. They’re especially proficient at transmuting into loaves of bread, cinnamon rolls and door stops. Many times it’s virtually impossible to tell the difference between an orange cat and a loaf of pumpkin bread. Think about it: Do loaves of delicious bread keep appearing and disappearing on your kitchen counter? I thought so. Who, besides a superhero, can tackle a feat like this? Nobody, that’s who.
Sure, cats are fast, but their skills in teleportation are unmatched. How many times have we seen a cat in one place, and like a bolt of lightning, they’re across the room? Or on top of the kitchen counter? Or sitting on our chair? Or stretched across our pillow? That’s not just quick — that’s super(hero)quick. BAM! Just like that.
Kitties can be excellent hiders, and they are often downright invisible. Even though their tails or feet may be completely visible to the human eye, or their shadow is cast on a curtain, they’re still completely invisible. That’s not only the law of cat, it’s clearly documented as a superhero power. Don’t believe it? Check the Official Feline Superhero Guidebook. It’s in there on page something-something. Go ahead, look.
At first glance, cats may seem dainty, but they know they’re 100 percent badass. Forget about doggy-style strength — cats have got ’em beat paws-down. Have you ever seen one giant cat plopped on top of one another smaller one? We’re not talking kittens here — big cats. These are cats who probably need a few months on the Catkins diet. These household cats who are the “bottoms” possess super strength, to be sure. They don’t even flinch when these behemoth felines curl up on top of them.
Have you ever gotten lost while looking into the eyes of a cat? Yeah, it sounds all sweet and lovey, but they’re not always giving you the “giant hearts pulsing out of the eyeballs” treatment. Sometimes they’re practicing the little-known feline super power of memory manipulation. Or maybe it’s not all that “little-known.” Sometimes, even when we know our cats just ate dinner, they somehow persuade us to throw down a pile of treats. But this is mere child’s play to a cat. Their hope is to manipulate our memory to the point of forgetting we ever fed them in the first place and then serve up another meal. Ever wonder why your cat is overweight? Perhaps this superhero power is the culprit. How will we ever really know, anyway? That’s the magic of memory manipulation. Stunned? You should be.
Sometimes cats can fly. They’re completely aerodynamic, and there’s only one way to explain the phenomenon: superhero powers. I mean, really — they get major hang time, right? Can humans do that? Only high-paid basketball stars and those who are skilled in the black magic of parkour can manage this kind of miraculous flight. Move out of the way Superman, here comes Mr. Boots. Maybe he’ll be wearing a cape, and maybe he won’t. Please wear a cape, please wear a cape.
Does your cat have superhero powers? Tell us about them in the comments!