Most cats don’t like to wear costumes. Sure, some don’t mind, and I know a few who even enjoy donning festive outfits on occasion, but most are all “ix-nay on the ostume-cay.” My cats are in the “ix-nay” family. I have a feeling that at least one of yours is as well. This means those kitties don’t get to dress up during the Halloween season. Or do they? Hmm … let’s take a closer look at the situation.
I believe cats naturally wear “costumes” all the time. Maybe they don’t physically wear hats, capes, boots, and taco suits, but they do act like or physically resemble people or things that could be considered Halloween costumes humans would wear to parties — and perhaps come home with a prize for best costume! It’s true. Trust me. I know things.
Here are six “costumes” cats wear all the time, regardless of the season. I think they look pretty spot-on. I think you’ll agree.
1. A pretzel
Cats are exceptionally flexible and can go from zero to “pretzel” in a matter of seconds. The variety of shapes is endless, making no two pretzels exactly the same. This is a no-brainer “costume” for cats … and humans who perform in a Cirque du Soleil show.
2. The Great Sphinx of Giza
Many kitties wear this “costume” pretty regularly. It’s probably comfortable for them, plus it makes them look incredibly regal, which is highly appealing to all felines. The more regal and “I’m better than you,” the better, right? Of course they’d emulate the Great Sphinx of Giza that’s located in their Motherland of Egypt. Somehow, when they put on this “costume,” their face strikes a “worship me” pose with which we humans are all too familiar.
3. Massage therapist
Cats love to knead blankets, clothing, other cats, human bellies — really anything that’s soft and nearby when they’re feeling especially knead-ful. Most human massage therapists I know are chill professionals with naturally calm personalities and, when they work on me, dissolve into a meditative trance. Sound like anyone you know? Cats! It’s not at all difficult for cats to transform into massage therapists, so it’d be an ideal “costume” for them for wear on Halloween, or any day of the year.
4. Security guard
Kitties like to patrol the perimeter of their territories, keeping their eyes out for any suspicious movements or behavior. They’re total security guards, aren’t they? What a perfect “costume” for a kitty! I would, however, enjoy seeing a cat wearing a little badge of some kind. Don’t lie — you would too.
5. Food critic
Felines are natural critics of everything. They have opinions and aren’t shy about sharing them with whomever will give them attention. They’re also on the (seriously) nosy side when it comes to checking out what we humans are up to — especially if it involves food. Sliding on a food critic “costume” is easy-peasy for kitties. They could probably even go as a character like Chef Ramsey from Kitchen Nightmares, don’t you think? They have the cranky faces and attitude down pat.
6. Jack Torrance from The Shining
“Heeeere’s Fluffy!” Cats can act downright possessed trying to barge their way into a room with a closed door. Their frantically pounding paws and wild mews remind me a little of Jack Torrance from The Shining. Now before you get all offended that I’m comparing cute kitties to a would-be axe murderer from a Stephen King story, please tell me you’ve seen the Photoshopped image that replaces Johnny with a cat. There. I’m not the only weirdo you know.
Why kind of Halloween “costume” does your cat naturally wear?