So we fostered a pregnant stray last summer and adopted her only baby, who was born in our foyer. He’s the best cat ever, sweet, cuddly, amazing at soft paws even when in Tasmanian devil mode, very strongly bonded to both of us— my husband has the honor of being his chosen human— but he was born mid-quarantine. We both worked from home for his first nine months, my husband is still working from home, which was very good for his bond with us, but there have been very few opportunities for him to meet other people. His first visit, at one month, was great! He was climbing on my friend just like she was me. The next couple visits, spaced by months , all went fine: took him to my parents house and while he didn’t like their big dog he was exploring and happy to be held by each of them. He had a few good visits with the grandkids on an individual basis. But then at Christmas, when there were more people (than should have been there at all, pandemic! But no one listened to me) all at once. He was not interested at all to come out of the bedroom, and now anytime the doorbell rings, even if no one comes in, he runs into the bedroom and hides. And if someone does come in, he’s in the bathroom cupboard until he’s sure they’ve been gone for at least 20 minutes. We have the newest feliway product, optimum “happy family”, but it hasn’t had any effect on this problem—it solved the intercat issue we primarily bought it for. How do we get him to be okay with guests and not so terrified that he ghosts if the doorbell rings?

I adopted a 4 month old feral fenale.
It took 2 months. But at about 3 weeks she calmed and relaxed..I then adopted a 7 month old known shy cat.
He has been here 1 week and was jumping over screens to get out of small room.hid in every remote place.
He can be petted if u force it on him.
I now have both of them in a small bedroom ,to try to acclimate
Any thoughts on how long ahy 7 month old Male. Will be so shy.
She is younger and hisses at him.
Also thoughts on how long to leave them together in room.

The only way I can get my scaredy cat is string and a can of cat food. It gets so frustrating all I want is snuggles and he runs. But there’s some days he will sit with me for hours

Our Engine Kitty found her way into our home via the engine of my car when she was 6 weeks old. She was both traumatized and feral, so I kept her in one room away from our other cats for a month. I spent a lot of time in there working, talking with her, talking on the phone, etc. I whistled every time I brought her food; then I petted her and spoke softly to her while she ate. She hid the rest of the time, in the tiniest of places. The whistling helped because eventually she learned to come out whenever I whistled. After she’d been to the vet for worming, inoculations, etc., she met the first of our 5 cats–our neutered male Marcus, and right away he was sweet with her and she started chirping like him. It took maybe 6 months before she hugged my leg. That was a red-letter day! Now she lets my husband and me pet her, but she’s no lap cat, and she hides from everyone else. Three years later, and she still has no idea how to play with toys though we’ve been trying from the beginning to find something she’d like. She does like to be brushed, though! ADVICE: whistle when you bring food, and be patient!

I have taken in a cat whom has been abandoned by two owners. My neighbour, who moved away about two weeks ago just left the cat to fend for herself in the cold weather. In the evening I would see her sitting by the by neighbour’s window waiting for them to return. It just broke my heart. I decided to to take her in and place her in a heated room where she can eat and sleep without too much disturbance. The cat is very shy and fearful, but not aggressive, yes she sometimes hisses at me, but never raises a paw to scratch if she is uncomfortable with something, she moves away when I touch her but othewise she is okay. I would love to keep her, but how to get her familiar with my four cats who are terrorists (for want of a better word).

I also had an extremely shy and scared cat adopt me. She was a teenage cat when she started coming around. As she had never been socialized, she was f-e-r-a-l. This is an outdoor cat, as her people are allergic to her. She lives in California, so she doesn’t get too cold at night. Talk about having p-a-t-i-e-n-c-e, she would only eat when I wasn’t around. She would stay far away in our yard hiding in certain spots, or mostly leave the yard entirely when I was outside. I would l-e-a-v-e h-e-r a-l-o-n-e so she wouldn’t flee. It took her a year and two months of g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y moving me closer to her food before my first p-e-t. I could immediately tell she had never been pet before. I felt so special! Worth every second of t-i-m-e I had invested. Skip forward eight years, she has s-h-e-l-t-e-r in a dog house whose opening is facing the wall. She feels safe and secure in there and we hardly see her in the wintertime because of it. We still hope that maybe, someday, she will become a real cat. H-u-m-o-r has helped with the slow, ongoing process of trying to socialize this cat. My V-e-t-e-r-a-n-a-r-i-a-n knows of her special needs and thankfully fits me in -if and when- I can catch her; a standing appt. They will give her a long-term antibiotic shot, if needed, as I can’t catch her to medicate. Afraid of most everything, I never had a chance with toys; terrified, she doesn’t know how to p-l-a-y. What I do now is throw individual pieces of food near her and she goes and captures them. This is our play. Find what works between you and your cat. Now, she waits at the back door to be fed, stays in our backyard almost all of the time, and pets my hand twice before eating (only at night). Huge advances for her! It is slow work and maybe hard to notice changes. C-o-n-s-i-s-t-e-n-c-y is the key. The cat will learn, eventually. F-o-o-d was the essential motivator for her behavior changes. We still aren’t able to walk up to her. We let her t-r-a-i-n u-s on how to interact with her. She has taught us to w-h-i-s-p-e-r around her as she doesn’t like loud noises. She rewards us sometimes with an opening of her mouth and a quiet hummingbird type sound for a meow. She’s still learning how to p-u-r-r. It’s an occasional occurance and we feel so loved if she does. We let her handle that on her own, since nothing we do helps aid in this. Which brings us back to p-a-t-i-e-n-c-e and t-i-m-e, the starting and continuing point. Never going to be a very affectionate cat, ShyWoo has made remarkable progress, and I know she loves and trusts me. And she knows this is her home. She has woo-ed all of us. Hang in there. It’s worth it. L-o-v-e. I hope this will help someone else at the beginning of their shy cat journey.

Great article. What about feline enrichment such as scheduled playtime or catifying an environment?

Leave the shy kitty alone. Let him get used to his environment and he will eventually seek you out. Curiosity will eventually win out. Be calm with him and do things his way. When he hides let him come out on his own.