What Cats Want in the Hot Housing Market
The housing market is heating up, and many cats are pestering their owners to trade up and get them their dream home.
We asked some cats what they were looking for in a house. Here's what they had to say:
1. Tons of square feet (elevated)
We don't care how you do it -- built-ins, flying buttresses, indoor scaffolding -- but we don't want to touch the floor for weeks.
2. A pond full of carp
In the kitchen, preferably, but a pond full of carp in the living room would suffice.
3. Absolutely no doors
We are so tired of being on the wrong side of the door.
4. Mouse infested
Hey, one can dream.
5. Interior trees
Tall ones, too. You can save money by having less roof.
6. Dogs not allowed
Maybe in one of those gated community-type thingies? No doorbells, either. And mail carriers can only come to the door if they bring chicken. No visitors otherwise.
7. Glass roof -- and glass walls, while we're at it
Imagine, a sun puddle that never moved, that just sat there, everywhere. We'd never have to go anywhere again.
8. Wall-to-wall shag carpet
Or wall-to-wall corrugated cardboard. Your call. Maybe half and half. And make sure its the kind of carpet you can't vacuum (check Macy's).
9. Located under the migratory path of ducks
And swallows and warblers. Also swifts, nightjars, turtledoves, ospreys, and terns. Oh, and red-necked grebes. What else migrates? Under those, too. Do you have a shotgun?
10. Not located near vets
Florida doesn't have vets, right? Let's live there.
11. Located in an alley behind a fish market
Wait, can we live inside a fish market? Let's do that.
12. The yard has an aviary
Even better, the bedroom has an aviary.
13. Lots of running water
A small waterfall in every room would be ideal, but we'll settle for faucets can't be turned off.
What would your kitty like in a house? Let us know in the comments!