According to quintessential ’90s band Sublime, “I smoke two joints in the morning; I smoke two joints at night. I smoke two joints in the afternoon; it makes me feel all right.” Your cat can probably relate to this song. Just give her a bag of catnip, and she’s likely to get baked, attack her brother, and probably drool a little more than normal. She might even chase invisible prey. One time, my cat Phoenix got high and ran into a wall. Just saying.
The good news: This herb is totally safe for your cats –- and it makes their antics even more hilarious than usual. Check out these kitties who are seriously like so stoned right now –- and then, uh, have a great weekend yourself, if you, er, know what I mean.
1. Sylvester’s overdose
When Sylvester tried catnip for the first time, he was instantly hooked. Desperate for another taste, he climbed on the kitchen table and ripped open the baggie containing the rest of the nip, scattering it across the floor before going on a luxurious bender. Then he lost his damn mind.
2. Because science
This video shows a clowder of cats (yes, that’s really what a group of cats is called!) swarming a catnip patch, frolicking, chasing invisible mice, and generally getting stoned as hell. There’s even a scientific explanation for why the plant affects cats the way it does, but I won’t give it away. Don’t miss the extended shot of the guy with a stalactite of drool hanging from his chin.
3. The five stages of nip addiction
This hilarious video from the Pet Collective chronicles the five stages of catnip use, starting with simple experimentation before progressing to paranoia and ending up at full-blown addiction (with several episodes of munchies in between, of course).
4. Catnip rager explodes
These six cats are calmly sitting around enjoying some nip when one kitty accidentally startles another. Suddenly all of these formerly fun-loving felines scatter like a handful of marbles. Their humans are like, “What happened?” Perhaps someone should remind them catnip is perfectly legal.
5. Ernesto wants all the catnip
While his humans were sleeping, Ernesto the cat sent them a very clear message: He does not need their help to get stoned. They woke up to find their brown-and-white tabby sprawled on the floor, surrounded by literally all of the catnip, so high he could barely contain himself. Party on, Ernesto.
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About Angela: This not-crazy-at-all cat lady loves to lint-roll her favorite dress and go out dancing. She also frequents the gym, the vegan coffee joint, and the warm patch of sunlight on the living room floor. She enjoys a good cat rescue story about kindness and decency overcoming the odds, and she’s an enthusiastic recipient of headbutts and purrs from her two cats, Bubba Lee Kinsey and Phoenix.