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Cats vs. Printers: Is It Terror, Fascination, or Confusion?

These videos and photos suggest it's a long-running intergalactic struggle. Sounds plausible.

Liz Acosta  |  Jun 7th 2013

Did you see Angie Bailey’s post about six conventions your cat wants to attend? What struck me most — besides the humor — was the Vine of her kitty, Phoebe, fascinated with the printer, as seen below.

It made me think of this video of cats’ bewildering introductions to the paper-spitting human contraption.

What exactly is wrong with the printer? Here are some ideas:

1. Printers emit irritating sounds

The whirring and the beeping and the whistling and the ringing … and then the crunch of an inevitable printer jam. To a cat’s sensitive hearing, these sounds must be like someone running her nails down a chalkboard.

2. Printers move in erratic and sudden ways

This probably triggers a cat’s natural prey drive, so they instinctively bat at it like it’s an insect or a rodent.

3. Printers are pitching machines

Uh, why do you constantly go out and drop your hard-earned cash on pricey cat toys for Mitzy? Mitzy would be just as content with a wadded up ball of paper. And what distributes the paper? The printer. You don’t believe that’s how your cat visualizes the printer? You say cats have no conception of baseball? Okay, we’ll keep swinging.

4. Printers harbor little space alien pods that are programmed to hatch at a given signal and violently take over the planet, and cats know this because it’s part of an intergalactic battle that’s been raging between cats and aliens since the beginning of time

Isn’t that noble of them? Throw out all your printers — immediately! (This would almost be believable except that cats are too selfish to try to help save us.)

5. Printers are so cheap nowadays they’re given away with any electronic you buy, which is great until you realize that after 90 days they start jamming and demanding $20 refill cartridges, and cats totally feel our pain and frustration

They’re just doing what we’d like to do, which is to take a baseball bat to all of them.

Hero photo by Manatari

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