Let's Start Monday With 10 Non-Motivational Cats
You're probably familiar with the iconic, "Hang in there!" motivational poster from the 70's featuring a kitten hanging from a tree branch and some inspiring, groovy text encouraging the viewer to persevere though things might seem impossible.
The poster continues to live in classrooms and offices everywhere, and has been parodied and replicated and re-imagined. In all of its pop culture history, no one's ever stopped to consider the obvious: Why would a cat -- of all creatures -- be offering motivation?
Cats are the laziest creatures on Earth, motivated only by the sound of a can opener, the rustle of a treat bag, or the sheer nefarious joy of waking us in the middle of the night with their thundering races around the room. In protest of this gross "misrepresentation," here are 10 un-motivational cats:
1. It's not even worth it to open my eyes fully to look at you
This narrow view of you is enough to know I'm disgusted, and so is everyone else, so just stop trying.
2. Hit the snooze button
In fact, just throw your alarm clock out the window. What's the point in getting out of bed today?
3. You will never catch the birds
You call it a "glass ceiling," we cats call it a "glass window."
4. This is what I think of you
This is what everyone thinks of you.
5. You're never going to finish writing "that novel"
Especially not with this relic of a computer.
6. At least you made it to the couch
Although that's not a far leap when you fell asleep there last night.
7. You will never be as cool as we are
Look at our laser eyes. You will never have laser eyes.
8. Hey, are those my own paws?
(This cat is too distracted to motivate you.)
9. Don't bother getting up
You make a better cat bed than a contributing member of society.
10. You will always be stuck without an arm rest
Because I am sitting on it.