So, like, one time this cat friend of mine was all, “Hey Liz, can you drive me to the mall? I am a cat and cannot legally obtain a driver’s license, but my friend said he’d like to go see a movie and so can you drive me to the mall?”
I was like, “Well, that makes sense, I’m not doing anything today, so yeah, I’ll drive you to the mall.”
So we get to the mall and my cat friend meets up with this dude cat friend of hers, and I’m a little suspicious, but I’m not a party pooper, you know? And then my cat friend went to buy the movie tickets and the cashier was all, “Ummm, these cats can’t see the movie without an adult present. It’s rated R. And they’re cats.”
And my cat friend was all, “Liz, will you be our chaperone pleeease?!”
So I caved. And guess what? As I suspected, my cat friend and her boy cat friend made out the entire time! And I was totally the third wheel.
And then I woke up ’cause it was all just a really weird dream. (I need to lay off the catnip.)
But it got me thinking. Cats can be pretty amorous — I’ve been witness to a few mad macking sessions betwixt two felines nestled in a laundry basket in a sunny spot — and even though I’m a human and they’re cats, sometimes I wanna be like, “Get a room!”
But cats don’t really care. They are total exhibitionists. Just like these cats:
Right, sure, it looks innocent enough. But do you see that collar there on Vivien? Yeah …
That is some whisker-curling action right there. Seriously — get a room! Or a box!
It’s a cat’s gentle way of saying, “Honey, you need a mint.”
You know what they say, “A lady on the streets, a toe-biter in the sheets!”
Why do I get the distinct feeling that Coheed is mocking my fruitless love life?
The couple that coughs up hairballs right in front of the bathroom door together stays together.
And if you’ve got all that covered, remember to also brush your fangs before going in for a smooch — whatever that cat had to eat last, Mikey is not into it!
Who am I to judge?
Who’s taking bets?
Oh, what do you know! It’s Mallee again. I like Mallee — she’s a kitten after my own heart. She’s coy and aloof because she’s really just totally into self love and care. You get it, girl. Personally, I’d make out with my reflection, too.
How do you feel when your cats go into hardcore cuddle mode? It’s kind of adorable, right? But also kind of like, “Well, goodness gracious!” Am I right?
Meow out loud to more humor pieces on Catster:
About Liz Acosta: Catster’s former Cuteness Correspondent, Liz still manages the site’s daily “Awws,” only now she also wrangles Catster’s social media. That’s why she wants you to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and — her personal favorite — Instagram. See ya there!
Our Most-Commented Stories