Editor’s note: This story originally appeared in the March/April issue of Catster print magazine. Click here to subscribe to Catster magazine.
Is your cat a sweetheart, a sap, or a total jokester? Take this quiz to see what kind of valentine best matches your cat’s personality.
a. Works her way into your lap and settles in for a snuggle
b. Hams it up by rolling around on the floor, jumping, or swatting jingle toys
c. Swipes a piece of food from your plate and races off with it
d. Brazenly walks across your laptop while you’re using it
a. She happily wears it and soaks in all the extra attention you give her
b. She gives you “the look” and walks away, sarcastically flicking her tail at you
c. She chews and drools on the tags
d. She wears it but then sabotages every photo of her you want to post online
a. Sneaks into your lap and curls up (and you don’t mind, of course)
b. Grabs a toy and puts on a show for you and your date
c. Parks herself under the table and waits for scraps to fall on the floor
d. She’s bored and decides to sleep on top of your warm laptop
a. Anything, as long as you’re involved in the play
b. A slobbery, chewed-up catnip cigar
c. A treat or food puzzle
d. A cool, interactive tablet app for cats
a. “Soft Kitty” from The Big Bang Theory
b. The Meow Mix song
c. “Feed Me” from Little Shop of Horrors
d. The Keyboard Cat music
a. Her cutest qualities
b. Her silly antics
c. Her eating habits
d. Online comments from your friends about her photos
a. Writer of love songs
b. Stand-up comedian
d. Computer tech
Your cat is a total lover and can’t get enough up-close-and-personal time with you. Her purr goes on autopilot when she sees you, and you constantly catch her staring at you with goo-goo eyes. This kind of valentine would definitely include overly mushy poetry with rhymes like “feline” and “be mine.”
Your kitty is a clown, and that’s one of the main reasons you adore her. She makes the silliest faces and loves to entertain you with her comedic antics. This kind of cat would definitely be a fun valentine, probably loaded with puns or humor. “Valentine, you’re my favorite treat (next to liver treats, that is)!”
A food-obsessed cat would have to be some kind of edible valentine, like a heart-shaped cookie or box of candy. The only rule your kitty would insist upon is that you keep the chocolate, but she absolutely gets the box. And no, it doesn’t matter one bit that the box is probably (definitely) too small for her. She’ll make it work.
This cat loves technology — you know, like hijacking your laptop for naps (naptop), walking across your computer keyboard, and making sure every photo you take of her is completely blurry. Naturally, this kitty would be an obnoxious e-card, complete with repetitive, loud music and boing boing sound effects.
Read more by Angie Bailey:
About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.