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5 First-World Cat Problems

Not enough laundry in the basket for you? Poor baby! Food dish is half empty? Deprived kitty!

 |  Dec 3rd 2013  |   18 Contributions


The other day I was trying to access my personal Wi-Fi hotspot on my iPhone, and for whatever reason it wasn't showing up as an available network on my laptop. My knee-jerk reaction was to freak out a little bit and say a few unladylike words. Then I stopped myself and thought, "Holy first-world problem, Batman!" Seriously, I have an iPhone. I have access to a personal Wi-Fi hotspot. I'm staying in a fancy hotel that I didn't have to pay for. All of this and I'm complaining about a blip of a problem that eventually corrected itself? I had to laugh a little bit about that one ... and then drink a $15 cocktail from the minibar. Kidding.

Cats want what they want and they want it now. They are the kings and queens of first-world problems -- especially cats who live in loving homes and truly do get what they need and most of what they want. Still, they will always look for a reason to complain or sport a surly look to show you how they really feel about the situation.

Here are five first-world cat problems that send our cats straight to Crankyville.

1. Half-empty food dishes

Cosmo: "Do you want me to starve, woman?"

A cat's dish is either full or it's not. This halfway business doesn't fly in their books. In fact, I just left the computer to grab some tea from the kitchen and Phoebe was sitting beside her dish, glaring at me. The food was shoved to one side of the dish, but it was there. She acted like she was about to starve to death. Oh, please. 

2. Door indecision

Cosmo: "Don't stress me out with these decisions!"

Cats act like their world will explode if they don't get on the other side of a door -- and then, when we open the door for them, they stand in exactly the spot that prevents us from closing the door. They look completely confused: "Where do I want to go? This is haaaard!" Poor baby.

3. Waiting to poo

Saffy: "What does 'wait' even mean?"

When my cats know I'm changing the litter boxes, they came flying from all corners of the house. Sometimes they can't even bear to wait until I'm finished and try to climb in as I'm pouring litter and getting the area clean. Heaven forbid I remove them. They were fine five minutes ago, but as soon as they hear the swoosh of the litter hitting the bottom of the box, their bladders will certainly burst if they don't go right then and there. And if we make them wait, they get all kinds of cranky. Even if they have to wait only a few seconds. Geez.

4. Photo ops

Phoebe: "My life is awful. Just awful."

"Poor me! Somebody loves me so much that they want to capture my cuteness and share it with other people who ooh and ahh all over my adorable self." My cats are not fond of having their photos taken and I get a lot of shots that look like the one above. The bad news for them is that I have to take their pictures, because posts like this one is how I get paid and how food gets in their dishes. Suck it up, kitty!

5. Lacking laundry

Phoebe: "How can I be expected to lounge properly?"

What? There's not enough laundry in the basket? It's not warm enough for you? You deprived little thing! Let me remedy that for you right away! Seriously, my cats look at me like I'm the Soup Nazi when they try to get comfortable in a laundry-less basket. "No towels for you!" It's so hard to be a kitty, isn't it? 

What kinds of first-world problems does your cat have? Tell us in the comments!

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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