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6 Reasons Why Cats Are Totally Badass

Cats take what they want, shoot laser glares, and do it all on their terms. The word for that? Badass.

 |  May 16th 2013  |   66 Contributions


Some people think cats are little lap loungers who scurry from any loud noise. Even worse, I've heard some people say they think cats have no personality at all. What? Cats are chock-full of personality, and no way are they complete scaredy cats who jump at their own shadows. Not all the time, anyway.

Actually, I think cats are pretty badass.

"Who you callin' cute?" Angry Cat Wearing Spiked Collar by Shutterstock

I believe kitties are totally underestimated. For example, my little 6.5-pound Phoebe went nose to nose with a giant Lab through the window screen. She knew he was in her yard and wasn't about to back down. I was totally blown away! They may be little, but they can pack a punch.

Here are six ways I think cats are totally badass.

1. They don't care what we think

"That's right, I'll help myself." Photo of Sophia by Kari Achenbach

Unlike dogs, who seem to feel remorse when they've committed a no-no, most cats couldn't care less. "Yeah, I'm on the counter eating your turkey sandwich -- what of it?" They walk across our heads while we're sleeping, lounge on top of the clean clothes we've laid out for the evening, and drink out of our water glasses. Sure, we can remove them, but they'll be back ... along with their arrogant attitudes and sense of entitlement.

2. They do everything on their terms

Saffy: "No."

"You want me to play with that catnip mouse again? Um, I'm not feelin' it, bro." Cats like to be the ones in charge of their choices. And I honestly think they sometimes secretly want to do what we're suggesting, but would rather act contrary about it. Just because. Who's the boss? Not Tony Danza.

3. Their body language is fierce

"Do I intimidate you? I thought so." Kitten Jumping Sideways by Shutterstock

You know that crazy side-jump move kittens make when they're trying to act fierce? You know what I mean. Sometimes it seems like they do it just to do it -- there's no visible enemy afoot. I think they're probably practicing. They end up looking more cute and funny than intimidating, but we better not laugh at them. Ever. Even kittens are badass.

4. They own the Internet

Phoebe: "You want some of this? Get in line."

Who owns the Internet more than cats do? This is not a trick question. Nobody. Cat videos rule YouTube, and you can't scan a Facebook newsfeed these days without seeing the likes of Lil Bub and Grumpy Cat. Owning the Internet is a huge deal, and kitties know that this gives them mega-leverage when it comes to badassery.

5. They take what they want

Phoebe: "Want. Now."

Cats don't ask. Period. When they see something they want, they simply go for it. They don't even care that their quest involves blatant no-no actions. They'll jump on the counter to score a scrap, cruise across a desk to snag a pencil, and dive bomb another cat to jack a box. What's tougher than that? Maybe owning the Internet? Check. 

6. They can rock a look

"Yes?" Angry Sphynx Cat by Shutterstock

Dogs' looks are plaintive. Cats glare. And those glares aren't begging for anything. They're demanding everything. They don't even feel the need to open their mouths to express themselves. The eyes say it all. Plus, have you ever taken a photo of a cat that resulted in an evil, laser-eyed kitty pic? They plan those photos. They're warnings to us that their glare can be photographically amplified. Psychically altering photos? Don't even tell me that's not badass.

In what ways is your cat tough as nails? Tell us about it in the comments! 

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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