February 7th 2014 1:01 pm
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It's Indiana's meowmy here. I was just overcome with incredible sadness and grief of the loss of Indy. And all of my recent Angel furrriends. I was reading an article on huffingtonpost.com about how a woman was on a ship when her sweet kitty went to the Bridge, and how some passengers around her, didn't "get it" and made comments like-"she was probably feeling so sick she didn't even know who she was with"(she was with a beloved cat sitter) and "Oh, it's just a cat, you'll get over it in a couple of days"
I mean, come on. REALLY??!!? Really.
Until Catster, I never knew that my love was ok, that it wasn't too much, that it was just purrrfect the way it was. And we are not crazy cat people, being goofy over "just a cat" or dog over on dogster. These babies are our family, our children, our children's sisfurs and brofurs, my parent's grandkitties, as they call them. What gives? I mean really?
I guess I am still processing this whole thing. Losing the pages, losing contact with some furrriends after March 3rd, losing another part of Indiana.
His page is the page I still have yet to start saving on Chrome.
His is the most dear to me and most special.
And I can't bring myself to do it just yet, because to be honest, I still don't fully forgive myself for not being in the room with him when he gasped that final breath and meow (yes, I was there when they gave him that final dose to help him Cross Over the Bridge because it was clear he wasn't going to come back to me)
I still wish I took him to the vet Sunday when he started acting off, not Tuesday night. I don't blame the vet who I was working with those two days (ok maybe a little because she said he was just adjusting to the slippery elm helping his digestion and to wait) This is the one time that I did not trust my instincts and I failed him.
And I just don't want to not be able to log in and look at his page. I don't want to lose this. I am so angry. And so sad. And then both of those things at myself for not being kinder to myself because I really did my best at that time.
I don't mean to write this to get any sympathy about how good of a meowmy I was, I just need to vent and deal with the fact that I am losing another part of myself that will leave another hole that no one but Indy can fill. But I so cherish all the memories I have with him, and am so blessed with the Love from Kitty Pryde and even little Jack.
Jack truly was a gift, for both Kitty and me. I really do believe that.
I just feel so blue today.
Kristin, Angel Indy's Meowmy
Oh, Indy's mom, my mom understands. She told me she cried over her first kitty leaving for years and years because she felt it was all her fault. But you will forgive yourself in time.
As for Catster's demise, well ... we'll always have Paris.
We have the same experience in real life as you described people making us feel like we were crazy, spending too much, grieving too much, etc.....until we came here.
Meowmy is in the process of mourning me all over again since she will no longer be able to come here and visit me and read through the kind messages in my rosettes from when she lost me in Sept. 2013.
Very bad memories of the day I left too, I fought going to the bridge and required extra shots and I cried, it was horrible. Now she feels like she is losing me all over again. No one but a catster mom would understand and we all had that support and thought we always would have. So we understand and send purrs, prayers and hugs. Love always Norman
Hugs and purrs to you all. As you all know I lost Alex very tragically in the back seat of my car on the way to the ER. I have it different though, I have her website and so many things in her memory to keep her alive for me. So I understand.
I totally agree. I feel so bereft over the loss of Catster. Not being able to visit my angel's pages is unbearable. Having the support of my Catster friends has been invaluable.
Gina and Kitties
Momma feel the same way... like she is losing me again :(
My mom found Wayback Machine and saved our pages that way. It didn't take long. She tried to help others but she is worried that it won't work. Try the Wayback Machine. I remember those days with Indy and how hard it was for you. He is at the Bridge and doesn't want you to be sad. I was with Ben and Natasha when we gave them their wings. It passes so quickly..You did what you could...Now, save his pages...
Indy isn't mad at you, he watches over you! I know you feel him near - he is always in your heart. And yep, he wants you to save his Catster page, so get to it!
Knead On ~
We understand how you feel - my typist is very upset at losing our Charlie's page.